Shattered
by Sharon10
Summary: Bo and Nora's marriage is falling apart after Drew is killed but nothing is more devastating then what happens after the fall. When Nora finds Bo in bed with someone else,Will she ever survive the betrayal when she needs Bo most. BoNora
1. Shattered Part 1

SHATTERED- PART 1

AN: What would have happened if Sam and Lindsay had never come to Llanview? Drew has just been tragically killed, Bo is devastated and Nora has a secret she can't share with her husband. She has just discovered him in bed with someone she considered a friend and has run from the house, heading straight for disaster.

The headlights coming from the other direction almost blinded her as she was lost somewhere between the rain and her tears. She almost missed the turnoff and pulled the car to a screeching halt to pull herself together before driving on. All she could feel was the shakiness she couldn't control and the tears that wouldn't stop falling. Everything else was completely numb.

She could see the faintest hint of a silver lining when she saw the lights shining in the distance. She made her way towards the bar stool and ordered the strongest thing she could get her hands on... and then another, and another... she had just downed about 4 glasses when she saw him walk in. She said nothing other then "You better give me another two glasses," and started walking towards him. How on earth he knew where to find her was beside the point. He was the last person on earth she wanted to deal with tonight. All she said when she reached him was" Outside, NOW".

Nora: I wish to God you hadn't bothered coming, but since you have you might as well drink up.

She was handing him the drink when she pulled it away and dumped it on him. He said nothing as she leaned against the car and started drinking her glass in slow deliberate sips. She remained completely calm as she did this, which scared the hell out of him.

Nora: You know, the funny thing about all of this is that I actually believed you still loved me...that you still needed me...despite the fact that you've been nothing but a cold hearted bastard to me for the last few months.

Bo: It may not seem like it, but I do love you Nora. More then you'll ever know.

Nora: Shut the hell up. I'm not finished with you. (Pause) You can call me a heartless bit if you want but I don't believe that anything you tell me is true... least of all that you love me. (Pause) You lost your son. I sympathized. I tried to help. Still you found it necessary to tear me down whenever you felt like it. So let me ask you something Bo? Do you wish it was me? Is that why you continued to trash what was left of a good marriage without even giving it a second thought?

Bo: How can you say that? I would never wish you gone like that? I'd be lost without you.

Nora: Really? You seemed pretty ok to me... When you were in bed with a woman young enough to be your daughter... A woman I considered to be a friend... A woman who also lost Drew Right? That's what this was about wasn't it? You and Kelly comforting each other over the loss of a man you both loved... something your wife couldn't understand right?

Bo: That's not what this was about.

Nora: I SAID SHUT UP. (Pause) Did it ever occur to you that maybe I missed him too? Did you ever, just once, stop to ask yourself if maybe you weren't be fair to ME- the woman who loved you heart and soul even when it was the last thing you deserved. Or was I just too heartless to understand? I mean is that how you got her in bed? Did you sit there and complain about how mistreated you were? Did you EVER tell her that you had someone at home who was worried sick about you or would that have been interfering with your libido? 

Bo: Nora STOP. Where is all this...

Nora: ANGER. Yeah, I'm ANGRY. I'm ANGRY that you had such little respect for the vows you took to me. It would be so easy for me to sit here and say that she took advantage of you but it would be a lie wouldn't it? YOU were the one who was married. You see that? See that ring on your finger? (She was pulling at his hand until he looked at her) You PROMISED me that you would stay with me until better or worse. You SWORE that you would stay faithful to me and you LIED. I'm also ANGRY that you think your grief justifies your actions. How many times did I ask you tell me what you needed? You needed space, I gave it to you. When you woke up in the middle of the night because f nightmares, I was the one who held you until you fell back asleep. You needed to talk; I was the one who listened. On top of that, I LET you teat me like less then dirt simply because I didn't want to risk that you would hurt yourself. Turns out what you REALLY needed was something I couldn't give you. All you really wanted was a roll in the hay with someone who wasn't your wife.

Bo: Nora...

Nora: What? It' true isn't it? Rather then stay and fight the bad times together, you turned on me and everything we stood for. So DON'T you DARE stand there and act like you deserve ANYTHING but the boot.

Bo: Are you even going to give me a chance to explain?

Nora: What's to explain Bo? You broke every promise you ever made to me when you got caught with your pants down. I used to think it would be easier knowing the why but right now I don't give a dam WHY you turned to her and believed it was ok because you were in so much pain. I only care that you did.

Bo: I never meant to hurt you Nora.

Nora: I find that hard to believe. I mean really Bo, It's not like you tripped and your lips just happened to land on hers. What did you expect this would do to me?

Bo: So that's it then? You're just going to walk out.

Nora: I didn't walk out Bo. You did. I was more then willing to stay and try to fix whatever it was that was broken. But now I don't have anything left to fight with. It's a little hard to put something back together once it's been shattered on the floor.

Bo: Please don't do this. I know that I hurt you terribly and I'm sorrier then you'll ever know. But please don't leave me. I love you.

Nora: Love doesn't matter without Commitment and respect. You had neither. (Pause) I want you to understand that this doesn't come easy for me. I loved you. More then I ever loved anyone in my life. If I thought that there was anything left for us, I'd fight to the death for it. But dam it Bo, I'm tired of fighting. I'm so tired of fighting for a marriage you obviously don't want to be a part of.

Bo: That's not true. I need you. I need you so much.

Nora: oh gee, it only took you going to bed with a friend of mine for you to figure that out. Why don't I feel better?

Bo: If you would just give me a second chance...

Nora: to what? Break my heart? Forget it. We are done. I'm done. (Pause) Right now I'm starting to wonder if you EVER loved me because the man that I knew and loved beyond reason would never do this to me. I want you out of my house and out of my life. If you don't get your stuff out by tomorrow, I'll have them sent to you. I don't want to be a part of you anymore. It hurts too much.

Bo: Do you really think its going to be that easy? There are too many memories between us.

Nora: You shattered my heart and my life. Whatever memories we had are over. I sincerely hope that your little mid life crisis was worth it because you just cost yourself the best love you'll ever know. It has cost you everything we ever built or ever could build. (Pause) You want memories then fine. I just hope they can keep you warm at night because they're all you will ever have of us anymore.

Bo: Fine. If that's the way you want to play it then I'll go. I just want to remind you that it wasn't easy for u to find each other. What makes you think it will be any easier for us to loose each other? You know it Red. Deep down inside you, underneath all that anger and bitterness and hurt, you know that I love you. Just as I know that despite everything you still love me.

Nora: Right now the only thing I feel for you is disgust. Now please just leave me the hell alone. Haven't you done enough for one night?

Bo: I'm sorry.

After Bo walked away, she slammed her fists into the car in a fit of rage over and over again. When she could no longer take it, she slid the ground, burying her face in her knees crying.

Nora: How could you do this to me? I loved you. How could you do this to me?

TBC 


	2. Shattered Part 2

Shattered- Part 2

Her eyes were like ice as she looked into the windows of the car without really looking at all. The woman who had once shown so much warmth and compassion had been lost among the wreckage. If she tried to put a timeline on when it had happened, she would have had to say that she felt like she didn't exist… she was as dead inside as her step son Drew was dead to the outside world.

Her hands were trembling as she picked up the bat and swung. She knew that once upon a time this would have never even been a fleeting thought. But now, as her glassy eyes continued to stare, she wasn't the same woman who had loved and married Bo Buchanan years ago. Now she was the woman who no longer believed that love was anything more then a game.

She had pulled away from the car once she had done her damage and sat herself down nearby as she tried to get a hold of herself. She knew that if anyone had seen her, they would have probably blamed it on the alcohol that she knew she shouldn't have downed. But as she curled herself into a ball, with her head resting on her knees, she knew the reason why any of this was possible. It was almost a sure sign that things were progressing a lot faster then they should and she would have given herself time to dwell on it, if she hadn't seen Kelly step out in front of her. 

Kelly: What the hell did you do?

Nora: What the hell does it LOOK like I did? I gave your car a little makeover.

Kelly: But… But why?

Nora: Well I figured since you took something of mine, I would return the favor. But don't worry Kelly; with all that money of yours, I'm sure you can find a nice deal on something real shiny and new.

Kelly: So what you're saying is that this is revenge?

Nora: No, not exactly. If I said this was revenge then it would mean I actually gave you more then a passing thought, which I don't. What this is is a message. You see, I just wanted you to know that NOBODY cheats on me and gets away with it. 

Kelly: Don't you think it's a little drastic for a message?

Nora: No, actually I think it's just perfect. You made it impossible for me to walk into my own home without seeing those candid photographs in my head. So now, I'm going to make it impossible for you to get off with just a slap on your hand.

Kelly: Nora, I know that this is hard for you to understand but …

Nora: Don't. Don't you DARE say that you're sorry? Do you have any idea how tired I am of that word? Sorry doesn't matter Kelly. It doesn't make the pain go away and it sure as hell doesn't change the circumstances.

Kelly: Ok so you don't want an apology. So what exactly is it that you want? If I could take things back, I would.

Nora: Doesn't exactly help me now does it? (Pause) You may not think I'm being fair to you Kelly but see; you broke something in me when you slept with my husband. Its' not easy for me to admit that. It's not easy for me to admit that I'm not in control. But you… YOU SLEPT WITH MY HUSBAND. Do you have any idea how much that hurts me? Do you have any idea how much it has cost me? 

Kelly: He loves you Nora…

Nora: Love… he LOVES me. See I have a hard time believing that right now. The marriage that I thought I had is non existent. The man that I thought I knew is just based on a lie. Its all lies Kelly. He promised me things that he couldn't follow through on and that… that hurts almost more then the actual affair because I thought I could count on him to always be there. Now I don't know if I can trust him enough to give me anything.

Kelly: So what? You just walk away from the man you swore you'd love until the day you died? Is that something you can do Nora?

Nora: Well right now I have no choice. If I stayed with him I would loose myself because I wouldn't respect myself anymore. How can you ask me to stay with someone who would hurt me so much for months and then finally give in to the ultimate betrayal with YOU… someone I considered a friend? How can you ask me to overlook that? Don't you know how much it hurts?

Kelly: Yeah… yeah I do. And if you don't want an apology then at least let me give you a promise.

Nora: Why should I trust ANYTHING from you? Why?

Kelly: Well you probably shouldn't. But I'm giving you the choice anyways. I know that I deserve everything that you do to me and more so I'm not going to press charges against you.

Nora (Sarcastically): That's big of you…

Kelly: I'm also going to tell you upfront that I'm not interested in Bo. What happened between us was nothing but a mistake. Now coming from a woman's perspective I know how difficult it is to see the man you love with someone else so I am telling you right now that I am going to end whatever is left of our friendship. You deserve at least that much.  
Nora (Crying): What exactly am I supposed to do in return?

Kelly: Nothing. Nora I care about you. I know I didn't act like it but I do.

Nora: Is that why you conviently forgot that the man you were sleeping with was MY husband? Or didn't that matter to you at all?

Kelly: Of course it did. Like I said, it was a mistake that we both feel horrible about. I know that there is probably no way for you to forgive me but please just consider forgiving Bo. I know how much you mean to him.

Nora: How? How can I forgive a man I don't trust? As far as I'm concerned you're both dead to me.

She picked up her purse and walked through the rain until she reached a payphone. She was feeling really weak and dizzy the whole way there. She could barely manage to hold it together in order to dial the numbers but she collapsed before she could finish.

TBC 


	3. Shattered Part 3

Shattered- Part 3

he could smell the familiar scent of her perfume when he finally walked into their bedroom. Everything looked exactly the same, and yet when he ran his fingers across the sheets, it felt entirely different. He hadn't even moved his stuff out yet, and he already felt the loss he wasn't sure he'd be able to survive.

He picked up her pillow and breathed in everything that was her, afraid to let that beautiful smell leave his mind completely. He saw the romance novel lying on her nightstand and he was reminded of all the times they used to lay in bed and read only to be distracted by that incredible desire for each other that could never be tamed for too long. He remembered how she used to fall asleep in his arms with her head resting on his chest and when he would reach for her at night, he couldn't remember a time when he was happier or more at peace. Why had it once been so hard for him to remember these incredible moments in time when no one else mattered but each other when now it seemed like it would be etched in his mind forever?

When he went to the closet to pull out the suitcase, he accidentally knocked down a box of old photographs they had yet to put in an album. As he went to the bed to sort through them, he could no longer stop the tears that fell from his face.

Bo: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Baby.

He took one of the pictures and put it in his suitcase as he began to throw clothes into a bag. All he remembered thinking was how much he wished he could turn back the clock so he could stop himself from hurting the only person who ever mattered to him completely. That was when he noticed someone standing in the doorway.

Bo: Nora?

He turned around hopeful but was obviously disappointed that it wasn't her.

Kelly: Sorry, It's just me. You look like hell.

Bo: I FEEL like hell. (Pause) What are you doing here?

Kelly: I came to say goodbye. I think it would be best if we never saw each other again.

Bo: Well I can't say I disagree with you there. I have hurt my wife more then anyone deserves to be hurt. The damage is so great that I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to put the pieces of our marriage back together.

Kelly: I hurt her too. I hurt a great friend and mentor and I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to forgive myself. 

Bo: I know how that feels. I will never stop cursing myself for all my sins and how they have hurt Nora. She didn't deserve any of them.

Kelly: No she didn't. All she ever did was try to be there for us. We were the ones who chose to turn our grief into something more... something it never should have been.

Bo: Kelly, where is this coming from? Did someone get to you?

Kelly: I saw Nora taking a bat to my car. She completely trashed everything from my headlights to my car seats.

Bo: Oh God... I didn't realize it was that bad. I guess I should have warned you that Nora doesn't take betrayal very well.

Kelly: I got the message loud and clear. And I can't say I blame her. Anger and hurt are very close together. (Pause) I made a promise to her Bo. I know it can't make up for all the pain we've caused her but she deserves to be able to walk through town and not worry that she's going to be reminded of her husbands infidelity by seeing us together. Nothing can change what happened. But Bo, Nora's in really bad shape right now. At the very least she deserves a chance to put those broken pieces of her heart back together.

Bo: She deserves so much more then that. She deserves someone who will make her feel like she's worth something. That's why I have to leave?

Kelly: you're not making any sense Bo.

Bo: I can't expect her to understand all the emotional blackmail I used on her for months before I finally did the one thing she couldn't forgive. How can I expect her to feel like she's worth EVERYTHING if the last thing I did was make her feel worthless and unwanted?

Kelly: You were in pain Bo. You didn't mean the things you said or did.

Bo: No I didn't. But that's no excuse and it certainly doesn't make it right. Nora's never asked me for anything but to love her forever. I gave her a wedding ring one night and the next I tore all of those feelings and dreams apart by breaking my vows to her. I failed her worse then I ever thought was even possible. The least I could do is give her the one thing she's asking from me now... to leave her alone.

Kelly: Bo, you love her. How can you just walk away from her?

Bo: Because I DO love her, I really have no choice. I can't change what I've done. That's caused a remarkable woman an incredible amount of pain. She doubts everything we ever were to each other and everything I ever said to her. Honestly as much as it kills me I can't really blame her. I wouldn't forgive me. (Pause) A part of me died when Drew was killed and another part of me is dying tonight. It kills me to stand here and admit that I can't save her from everything... and that she suffered at my hands. It kills me even more to know that the only thing I can do for her is to walk away and allow her to take everything away from me. But I can't stay here and fight her when I know how much it hurts her... how much it is costing her. I don't deserve her love or her forgiveness right now.

Kelly: So what exactly ARE you going to do?

Bo: I'm going to do the one thing that Nora begged me to do a long time ago. I'm going to bare my soul to a shrink and hope that he can help me figure out how to stop being so angry. Then I'm going to do whatever I have to do to find a way to win back my wife's love and trust. If it takes me the rest of my life then I'll find a way. I love her too much to ever give up on her. 

Kelly: I really hope that things work out for you. I care about you both and I know how much you both are hurting right now. We made a mistake but it doesn't have to cost you your future. That's why I'm going to make things easier for you and leave town.

Nora woke up hours later in the hospital, hooked up to oxygen tanks and barely able to catch her breath.

Nora: What happened?

Larry: Well aside from the fact that you almost killed yourself with the amount of alcohol you poured down your throat, I'd say you are a very lucky woman. You've obviously got a guardian angel on your side. 

Nora: What does that mean Larry?

Larry: I don't know what you were doing walking in that storm in your condition to begin with but you passed out. Viki found you in a phone booth, and you were burning up. Lucky for you, she didn't waste time calling an ambulance. If you had gotten hear any later you'd be dead.

Nora: remind me to send her flowers later. (Pause) Ok so what's my prognosis now doc? Have I reached the next stage?

Larry: All I'm going to tell you is that your condition is a lot worse then we initially thought. Lay off the booze Nora. It's causing all of our progress to be compromised.

Nora: Ok and if I do then what?

Larry: I wish I could tell you what you want to hear sweetheart. But you have Liver cancer. You need to stop trying to handle things yourself. You need to slow down. We are doing everything we can to find a treatment for your condition but you aren't making things easy.

Nora: what can I say, I don't do sick well.

Larry: Well then learn. Because if you don't stop doing what you're doing I'm going to put you in the hospital right now.

Nora: NO, no you can't do that.

Larry: The hell I can't. It's where you SHOULD be anyways. The only reason I let you go home is because you swore you'd let someone help you. Now as far as I can tell you haven't done that. Maybe I should just call the nurse right now and tell her to keep the restraints on.

Nora: No. No please Larry. I'll be good. Just please don't keep me here. I don't want Bo to know.

Larry: Why not? Did you not tell me you were going home to tell him when I broke the news?

Nora: I had every intention of telling him. I was determined to learn from my mistakes and let him in. I always pushed the people I loved away when I was in trouble and I wanted to change that. I wanted to let Bo help me.

Larry: Ok so what changed?

Nora: I found him in bed with Kelly Cramer.

TBC 


	4. Shattered Part 4

Shattered- Part 4

She tried to stop the tears that were now falling from her face but she was an emotional wreck as she slowly explained her situation.

Nora: Look, I know this sounds kind of crazy. I mean no one ever thought that Bo would ever do this again... not to me. (Pause) I feel so stupid Larry. I knew his history of being a womanizer. I understood that the chances of him doing it again were probably pretty high. I mean, once a cheater, always a cheater right?

He sat down next to her and took her hands.

Larry: Not always. (Pause) Oh Nora, I'm sorry. I never thought that he would do something like this to you.

Nora: Apparently, neither did I. That's why I was so devastated when I walked in on them. I didn't even give them a chance to explain. I just slammed the door and ran out.

Larry: That must have really hurt sweetheart.

Nora: It was the worst thing I ever had to go through. I can handle my sickness a lot better then I handled that. It was like someone took a knife to my heart. 

Larry: Is there anything I can do for you?

Nora: Not unless you have a magical pill for a broken heart in that bag of yours?

Larry: I wish I did. This is the last thing you need right now.

Nora: I don't think it would have mattered when I found out; it still would have been like loosing my power to breathe. 

Larry: well I understand why you ran sweetheart. I know how much you loved him. Do you want to talk about it?

Nora: I don't think it will do much good. I'm too upset to think rationally. (Pause) I'm sorry if I'm not handling things in the best way but I honestly I don't know how to handle anything right now. Everything hurts too dam much.

Larry: Nora, listen to me? I really AM sorry that this is all hitting you all at once. I'm sorry it's happening to you at all. But you have got to find a way to put all of your energy into getting well.

Nora: I don't know how to do that when all I can think of is what I've lost. Every time I close my eyes I see Bo and Kelly together. Dam it Larry, it was in MY house. How can I ever walk into that room without seeing that... my husband and my friend in bed together. It's an image I can't seem to get out of my head even now.

Larry: Nora, I'm telling you right now that you have to let that go for the time being. You have to find someone to trust. If it's not Bo, then someone. You can't do this all by yourself... no matter how strong you are.

Nora: Well right now, strong is the last thing I feel. I feel like I'm as fragile as glass.

Larry: Then find someone you trust and let them help you. I know that it's hard for you sweetheart but it's your best chance of survival. No one can go through cancer alone. 

Nora: What's next?

Larry: I wish I had better news for you my dear. Your liver is starting to fail a lot sooner then we hoped. You need to have a transplant or you're not going to make it. 

Nora: Oh God... (Crying) How close are we to finding a compatible transplant?

Larry: we've had a few come in but Nora there's a few people ahead of you.

Nora: So basically what you're telling me is that it might be too late.

Larry: Honey you need to have surgery as soon as possible and before we can do that, we need a liver donation. Between the failing liver and the cancer, you're going to need a miracle.

Nora (Crying): Ok... Ok, I'm ok. Just promise me that you'll tell me if there's no hope. There's a few goodbye's I'll have to say.

Larry: Nora, please don't do this to yourself. It's not that bad yet.

Nora: But there's a chance that it could get that bad real soon isn't there?

Larry: I'm afraid so.

Nora: Ok, so promise me...

Larry: Ok, I promise you. Is there anyone you want me to call?

Nora: Yeah... can you call Rachel?

Bo: Kelly, where is this coming from? Why the about face?

Kelly: I have no choice. I made a promise to your wife to stay away and there's really nothing left for me here anymore.

Bo: I'm not sure that running away is the answer. I mean don't get me wrong, I really want to do what's best for Nora but this just seems kind of drastic.

Kelly: Maybe it is. But I still have to go away... at least for a while. You still have a chance with the woman you love. I need to accept the fact that the man that I love is gone forever.

Bo: Yeah its kind of strange to think that he won't be coming around the corner isn't it? (Pause) Look, we are all grieving in our own way. We all need to heal. Running away isn't going to change anything. We already tried that and it just made things worse.

Kelly: Maybe you're right.

Bo: Look, I know I should probably be urging you to go but I can't because it's not right. We both made a mistake and we both have to stay and face the music. Nora deserves at least that much from us.

Kelly: Where are you going to go?

Bo: I'm not really sure actually? Maybe I'll just drive around until I can actually accept the fact that I'm not living where my heart is anymore. I did this to myself. I have to find a way to deal with it. So do you.

Kelly: Ok I'll stay. But I'm not going to be coming around. The last thing I want to do is make things worse for Nora. So I guess this is goodbye.

Bo: It has to be. If I'm ever going to get her to trust me, we can't be friends anymore. I'm sorry but that's the way it has to be.

She was about to walk away but he suddenly stopped her and they ended up hugging. That was when Dorian walked in.

Dorian: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

TBC


	5. Shattered Part 5

Shattered- Part 5

Despite her best efforts, she couldn't fall asleep. She would lie in bed and dream... but her dreams always seemed to center around Bo and the last thing she needed right now was to think of him and what it felt like to be touched by him. The last thing she wanted to think about was anything to do with her cheating husband.

She jolted from the bed, still weak, but managed to make it to the hospital roof. She was glad that she had changed her mind about calling Rachel because she doubted that she would have the strength to tell her anything right now.

She sat on the ledge and looked down at the city below her. Everything just seemed so full of life and she cursed herself for feeling jealous of that. She didn't have much strength left in her but she knew that she wanted to live, if for anything else, to see her daughter's upcoming wedding. She hated to think that she would miss all the important things in life but she was tired... she was so tired of fighting.

She took the blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders and just sat and finally let the tears fall freely. When she looked up, she saw Viki opening the door to join her.

Viki: You really shouldn't be out here in the cold all alone. Do you mind if I join you?

Nora: I guess not. 

There was a moment of silence as Viki sat down on the floor next to her.

Viki: Honey, listen to me. I know that something has got you running scared, and I know that I can't take the place of your husband, but I am here if you need me.

Nora: I wish I knew how to do this Viki. I know you saved my life and I am really grateful. I just don't know how to get the words out. I don't have the strength.

Viki: I'm not going to push you sweetheart but I know that when things are bad sometimes it's just better to say it. Sometimes keeping things bottled up, drains you more then saying them.

She paused momentarily and put her arm around her friend.

Viki: Let me help you ok? Can you tell me why you were at a bar in the middle of the night instead of home with your husband?

Nora (Crying): I wish I didn't have to think about that night. It... It was the night I found out that I didn't have a marriage anymore. All this time I was fighting to hold on to something... something that wasn't even real to begin with?

Viki: Oh honey, you can't really believe that? He loves you. You're not doubting THAT are you?

Nora: I doubt everything right now. How can I believe anything he tells me when all I see is what he did to me that night. (Pause) When I needed him most, he wasn't there. He was too busy having sex with Kelly in the house he shares with ME. Do you know how that makes me feel? Do you have any idea how lost I feel right now?

She became hysterical and Viki took her in her arms and held her like she would one of her children. The woman, who was once the strongest person she knew, was now cowering in her arms like a scared little girl.

Viki: There now. There, everything is going to be ok. (She kissed the top of her head)

Nora: How can anything be ok anymore? I'm dying. I'm dying and the one person I needed to be there for me is the one person who's pulling me under even faster then the sickness. 

Bo and Kelly turned to look at Dorian, struggling to find a reasonable explanation, knowing there probably wasn't one.

Bo: Dorian, do you have any idea what time it is? This is hardly the time or place for you to go spouting off on one of your tirades.

Dorian: Oh Really? And when would you want me to do that Bo? (To Kelly) I get a call from the police telling me that your car has been spotted at a bar completely trashed. Do you have any idea what sort of things were going through my mind?

Kelly: I'm sorry. I guess I wasn't thinking.

Dorian: Apparently. Instead of calling your family to help you, you have once again taken a taxi in the middle of the night, to the Buchanan household. And you (To Bo) Where's your wife? I can't imagine Nora would be ok with these little late night conversations?

Bo: My wife is NONE of your business so leave her out of this.

Dorian: Little hard to do when it's apparent to me that you haven't been getting along. And what's this... (Noticing the bags) looks like you're moving out. Why? Did she kick you out?

Kelly: Aunt Dorian Please just leave this alone. You're going to make things worse.

Dorian: Oh really? And how would I do that unless...

She notices the looks on their faces...

Dorian: NO. NO PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVEN'T SLEPT WITH HIM ALREADY. (Pause) Kelly for God's sake what has gotten into you? You used to be so smart. Now you've aligned yourself with a married man whose wife is not someone you want on your bad side. Please tell me she doesn't know. This is going to kill her.

Bo: Sorry to disappoint you, Nora already knows... and she's angry. Very angry to be exact.

Dorian: Can't say I blame her. Her whole world has been turned upside down. My God Bo, how could you do this to her. What happened to that undying love you two supposedly had? 

Bo: Dorian, please. We made a horrible mistake that we both wish we could take back. I still love Nora and Kelly still loves Drew. There's nothing we can do now but accept the consequences. 

Kelly: Please Aunt Dorian, don't make this harder then it has to. This has affected so many people already. Believe me, I only came to say goodbye.

Dorian: I hope that's true. (Pause)I just have to wonder about Nora. What's she going to do?

Just then the door flung open and Nora walked in...

Nora: Nora can speak for herself...

TBC 


	6. Shattered Part 6

Shattered- Part 6

the door slammed shut as Nora stepped inside and everyone stopped talking.

Nora: Well don't stop on my account. If you two want to be together then I will gladly get out of your way.

Kelly: It's not what you think...

Nora: You know what? I really don't give a dam WHAT it is anymore. This is the SECOND time I have found you in MY home, with MY husband when you swore to me that nothing was going on. I mean can't you at least have some tact when you throw himself at him? 9Pause) Oh wait. He came to you willingly didn't he? My mistake.

Bo: Nora please... don't do this.

Nora: Don't do what? I'm merely stating the facts. It's not like its some deep dark secret anymore. (Whispering to him) You see honey when the wife figures it out; I think its safe to say that the cats out of the bag.

Kelly: For God's sake Nora, It's not like that.

Nora: Really? Then what IS it like? You seduced my husband under my own roof, in my bedroom, and now you want to sit there and tell me that nothing's going on. (Pause)I might have believed that excuse a couple months ago but I'm no longer the naive wife who believes her husband can do no wrong. I find you with your heads together AGAIN and you want me to believe you were just, what? Discussing the weather? I don't think so.

Dorian: Nora, this is ridiculous.

Nora: SHUT UP DORIAN. Nobody asked for your opinion. And besides, this is between me and the backstabbing tramp who stole my husband.

Kelly: I DIDN'T STEAL HIM. (Pause) Look, I can see why you would think that but Nora if you'd just calm down you would realize that it couldn't be further from the truth. I'm not here to resume whatever it is you think we have going. I actually came here to say goodbye?

Nora: Why? Now that I'm out of the picture, I would think you would be throwing yourself at him at all hours of the day? Or is that what I just walked in on? 

Kelly: I told you what you walked in on.

Nora: No, there's more to the story isn't there?

She studied their faces and somehow figured out what they were trying to conceal.

Nora: Oh my God. Does it NEVER end? You were going to leave town but Bo talked you out of it. I just don't believe this.

Kelly: It's not for the reason's you think. Honestly Nora, there's nothing going on between us.

She remained completely calm as she walked over to the fireplace and noticed the photographs staring at her from the mantle.

Nora: You see these photographs? These are pictures of a family. You broke up a family you BI.

She suddenly started throwing everything off of the mantle and watched it shatter.

Bo: Nora, calm down.

Nora: CALM DOWN? YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN? (Pause) DAM IT BO. YOU BRING YOUR WHO INTO MY HOUSE AND YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN? Fine. I'll show you calm.

She walked over to Kelly and slapped her across the face.

Nora: I have tried to be generous to you, you little Skank. But I can't do this anymore. You have crossed a line you can't uncross. If I ever find you here again, I will have you arrested for trespassing. (Pause) And if I ever find you with MY husband again then don't expect me to be so nice. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE AND STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY FAMILY.

Kelly: Nora, please.

Nora: I SAID GET OUT.

She picked up another picture and threw it at her and Kelly and Dorian made a hasty exit. 

Bo looked at his wife but said nothing as she went upstairs calmly, without saying a word. He waited a few minutes, trying to give her a few minutes to calm down, and then he went upstairs to talk to her. When he got there she was already tearing the pillows apart and taking scissors to the bed. He grabbed her from behind.

Bo: Stop. Honey just stop. You're going to hurt yourself.

Nora: I think you've already taken care of that. (Pause) Let me go. I really don't want you to touch me.

Bo: What's it going to take for me to convince you that I'm sorry? Do I have to sign it in blood? Please... whatever it is I'll do it.

Nora: You think this is something you can just wave away with pretty words? Bo, you can't just say you're sorry and expect me to forget. And as far as forgiveness goes, I can't forgive someone I'm not entirely sure is sorry.

Bo: I just said I was didn't I?

Nora: Words, Bo. All Words. I'm more interested in actions. How do I know that you're not just sorry you got caught?

Bo: Look, I screwed up. I wish I could turn back the clock and change that but I can't. I don't know how many ways you want me to say that I'm sorry before you can pull yourself out of this glass house long enough to realize that you're not exactly perfect either.

As the fury burned inside her she jammed her fists into his stomach over and over again.

Nora: HOW DARE YOU. How dare you stand there and judge me for anything... you... with all your lies, omissions, half truths and games that you've played with my heart. I despise you and everything you are. 

She was shaking now, as fury and rage caused her to strike out at him. He grabbed her before she could get away as all the urgency of their feelings melted into one destructive, purely hateful kiss that was also filled with just as much passion for each other.

Bo: I'll be dammed if I let you make me beg. I don't crawl for anyone. Not even you.

Nora: I don't care about anything that has to do with you. I hate you. Now get your hands off me and leave me alone.

She jerked herself free from his grasp, cursing him as she ran from the room. Her condition made it impossible for her to get very far as she began to stumble in weakness. Stopping herself to catch her breath, she sat down on the rocks overlooking the bridge. There was nothing she wanted more then to unburden herself and tell her husband that she might be dying but the anger she still felt at his betrayal stung like a knife and she pulled back. All she could do now was cry.

The words that she had spoken to him in anger had cut him deeper then he wished they had. As strong as she was, he knew that she was now putting up a protective wall that only a better man would be able to break down. And that was it wasn't it? He wasn't the man she believed in. He had shattered her faith in everything and when he was at his wits end, he had turned it around on her. He could still see the fury in her eyes when she had struck out at him. And he deserved it, he finally realized with a heavy heart as he tried desperately not to think about what it felt like to hold her and kiss her and make love to her. Would he ever be able to regain her love and trust again he wondered as he looked out at her fragile state and cried to himself for being such a fool?

Without allowing himself to dwell on it any further, he went outside to find her. She was sitting on the rocks crying when she looked up at him with pleading eyes.

Nora: No matter what I am or what I've done, I didn't deserve this from you. Maybe at another time in my life I would have been able to understand. But Dam it Bo, I didn't deserve to be cheated on. All I ever did was love you.

Bo: You're right. You didn't deserve any of this. It's all on MY head and I swear to you that I will spend the rest of my life hating myself for what it has done to you.

She was so weak that she almost collapsed, so he picked her up and carried her inside. She was still sobbing when they got inside so he turned down the bed to tuck her in and went to get a towel to wipe away her tears.

For a moment they forgot everything but how much they loved each other and they came as close as anyone can come to making love but Nora put a stop to it when she finally remembered what Bo had done and that she no longer had a marriage. Bo just looked at her without saying a word and pulled the covers over her as she cried herself to sleep. Eventually Bo just kissed her on the head and left her alone.

When she woke up the next morning she found a note by her bed.

It read simply.

_Even broken glass can be repaired with the right care._

She swore under her breath as she headed for the shower. COLD... she told herself. There was no way she was going to take a hot shower and remember what she was pretty sure wasn't a dream. Right now what she needed was to remember the reasons she was here.

She changed quickly and threw some things in a bag and was almost out the door when she saw Viki standing there.

Viki: What the hell happened in here?

Nora: Would you believe that a Tornado blew in here

when she gave her "The look," she continued.

Nora: Didn't think so. (Pause) Let's just say I wasn't alone when I got here.

Viki: Bo?

Nora: Close. Bo and Kelly.

Viki: That couldn't have been pretty.

Nora: I found out he talked her out of leaving town and I kinda lost it. I'm kind of immune to their lies now though.

Viki: But it still hurts doesn't it?

When she said nothing, she took her in her arms.

Viki: I'm really sorry this is so hard for you but for now you have to stop dwelling on it so much. You have cancer to beat. For now that has to be your top priority. If its not I will talk to Larry and tell him to check you back into the hospital.

Nora: Geese, you talk a hard bargain.

Viki: Yeah well believe it or not I don't want to lose a good friend of mine because she's too stubborn to listen.

Nora: Fine. But you're going to have to help me. I'm really not that good at NOT dwelling on my pain.

Viki: I know, I've noticed. But that's what friends are for. (Pause) Come on lets go. You can fill me in on the rest later.

When Nora gave her that "How did you know, "look, she continued.

Viki: What? You think I haven't been where you are? In case you haven't figured it out, I've been around the block a time or two.

TBC 


	7. Shattered Part 7

SHATTERED- Part 7

She was sitting in the sand, watching the waves crash and thinking that it reminded her of her own inner demons when she saw the lights flicker on in the distance. She was already looking for escape when she saw him standing there.

Nora: what the hell are you doing here?

Bo: last time I checked this was a free beach. Or did you take that away too?

Nora (Anger flashing in her eyes): Fine. You can have your dam beach. I'll just find somewhere else to have my peace.

She started to walk away when he put his hand on her shoulder to stop her.

Nora: DON'T TOUCH ME. DON'T YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME AFTER WHAT YOU'VE DONE

He paused as he looked in her eyes, knowing that whatever chance he had of getting her back had to start with calmness.

Bo: Nora, please don't go. I'm sorry.

Nora: I've been hearing that word from you a lot lately. But it doesn't mean I believe it and it doesn't mean that it matters to me.

Bo: Can you just give me five minutes to say what I need to say? If you still want to leave then, I won't stand in your way.

Nora: Give me one good reason why I SHOULD stay? Give me one reason why I should listen to anything you have to say to me?

Bo: Because no matter what has happened between us in the last couple of months, you are still my wife. And because no matter how you might feel about me now, there was a time when "we" mattered to you.

Nora: Bo I can't just sweep your "dirty little secret" under the rug and forget it. There's no carpet big enough for that. (Pause) Everything that you allowed her to touch belonged to me... my house, my bed, my husband...I can't even walk into what used to be our home without being reminded of all the trash that you dragged through it. How can you sit there and tell me that this all can be repaired? It can't. Nothing will ever be ok with us again.

Bo: So you don't even want to try? (Pause) Nora, how can you be so sure that we can't fix it if you won't even take that first step?

Nora (Tears in her eyes): I DID try to fix it Bo. That's what you conviently forget. I put up with as much abuse from you as I could... all in the name of trying to save what I thought was a beautiful marriage. But what you're asking from me now is asking for too much. I can't forget that you've tainted our home by bringing your little tram there. And I don't want anything that's tainted.

Bo: So that's what we've come to. I make a horrible mistake and you're not even willing to forgive me. Our home and our life together used to be built on something special. Now what? It's no longer built on dreams. It's just garbage. Can you really be that insensitive?

Nora: Don't you DARE stand there and accuse ME of being insensitive. I'm all to aware of the fact that we had something beautiful together. Everywhere I go I'm reminded of those wonderful times we've spent together. When I close my eyes I could almost swear that we didn't lose it all. And I loved you Bo. I loved you with my whole heart. But that life that we've built together... you killed that in one night when you decided to break every promise you ever made to me and I can't live with a man I can't trust.

Bo: Nora, please. Just give me one more chance to make it up to you. I know that you have no reason to believe me but I love you.

Nora: I really don't want your kind of love. You were emotionally cruel to me for months. You've betrayed me in the worst possible way. And you're only there when you want to be. You claim you can't live without me tonight but how do I know that you won't cut and run when the sun rises. That seems to be your MO lately. You never want to do things any way but your own. And I can't live like that any more.

Bo: Honey I screwed up. I took the best thing I ever had and I made her doubt everything that used to be second nature. I can't give you a reason why it was so easy for me to do other then I was drunk and acting out of grief. I know that's a cop out and it defintly doesn't excuse things but It's all I have. Just because I ruined things for us doesn't mean I love you any less.

Nora: But it still happened. And it happened with someone I loved like my own daughter... someone who was almost your daughter in law. It doesn't matter how you feel about me this time Bo. Because at the end of the day, you can't undo the fact that you cheated on your wife in her own home with the woman who was going to marry your son before he was killed. What do you think that does to my self esteem? I just can't do this anymore.

Bo: Isn't there anything I can do to convince you to stay?

Nora (Pausing): You can answer this one question for me? (Pause) If I hadn't walked in on you and Kelly having sex, would you have even told me?

She wiped the tears from her eyes when she saw the look in his.

Nora: That's what I thought. (Pause) You have barely even noticed when I WAS here. The only reason that you're throwing a hissy fit now is because you've been caught with your pants down. Well let me save you the trouble of doing it yourself... you've been dumped.

She got a little light headed when she tried to walk away and had to calm herself down.

Nora: You know what? Until you can stop acting like I'm depriving you of something that's owed to you then I don't want anything to do with you.

Bo: At this point does it REALLY matter who is right and who is wrong?

Nora: It does to me. I'm tired of being treated like the insensitive jerk when YOU'RE the one who cheated on ME.

She ran out into the ocean to try to drown her tears and keep her heart from breaking in two. Bo ran after her when the waves almost took her under. He carried her out of the water and wrapped her in the blanket when she started to shake.

Bo: Nora, what's wrong with you? You look as white as a sheet and you're shivering and yet you're skin is as hot as a furnace.

Nora: Please don't ask any questions right now. Just take me to the hospital right away. I think something is terribly wrong.

TBC 


	8. Shattered Part 8

Shattered- Part 8

By the time they got to the hospital Nora was already going into cardiac arrest. Larry placed her on the operating table and rushed her into the Emergency room. Bo sat down in the waiting room, and called Viki, unsure what else he could do to help his wife.

When she got there, she found Bo sitting in the hallway with his head in his hands. She joined him on the floor.

Viki: What happened?

Bo: That's just it. I don't know. She was burning up and at the same time she was shivering. She was scared. I could see the look in her eyes and it scared me just as much as it did her. She just asked me to take her here so I did.

Viki: Well that's good. If you could do one thing for her, you just did it.

Bo: You know what's wrong with her don't you Viki?

Viki (Pausing): Bo, right now, Nora doesn't want to be a part of your life. You haven't respected that and that may be part of why she's here. I'm going to take a wild guess that you were fighting when this happened.

She looked at his pained expression and took his hands.

Viki: You know that I care about you both but I have to be on your wife's side right now. She's been through a lot... some of it at your hands. I know that you've been hurting too but you were the one who stepped out on your wife and believe me that killed her. It's taken her a lot to be able to even be able to stop crying. And you need to realize that she does love you, even after all of this, but staying with you isn't in her best interest. She left because it was the only way she could respect herself.

Bo: If there was ever one thing I wish I could take back it would be that moment of weakness. But I can't take that back. I wish I could but I can't. What am I supposed to do now?

Viki: You need to go home Bo. Nora doesn't want to see you right now. Believe me I'll call you if there's any change.

Bo: But I feel like I need to be here for her.

Viki: This isn't about you. If you love her, you need to go.

He finally walked away and Viki looked in the hospital room. What she saw broke her heart.

Nora: Larry, please, if I'm going to die, just let me go home. I don't want to die in this hospital room.

Larry: Nora, you're weak. You can't be out there walking around, let alone making life altering decisions.

Nora (Crying): Please let me go home. I don't want to die in the hospital. I want to have my last moments on earth happy.

Larry: What are you going to do if I let you out of here?

Nora: Right now the only thing I can think of is being with my husband. If I'm going to die then I just want to feel him one more time. I don't want to think of everything that's keeping us apart. I just want to remember what it's like to be loved by him.

Larry: And if you live? Will you be ok with the consequences?

Nora: I'd trade lonely for regret any day. Right now I just need my husband.

Larry: All right. I'll give you what you want. But you have to promise to come back here if I think you're doing yourself more harm.

Nora: I promise.

Larry: And I'm going to keep looking for that donor. I'm not letting you check out of this world without a darn good fight.

Nora: I know. And I appreciate it.

She hugged him before walking away. She let Viki drive her to Bo's and she stood there for a few minutes before finally knocking on the door. She was crying when he opened it.

Bo: Nora, what are you doing here? You should be in the hospital...

Nora: Don't ask any questions Bo. I just need you to hold me...

She walked into his arms and cried. He wrapped his arms around her as she wept.

TBC


	9. Shattered Part 9

Shattered- Part 9

Her body seemed to tremble when she took a step back, afraid to look him in the eyes. He took off his coat and gave it to her as he helped her inside. She was sitting on his bed when he came back with a cup of hot tea.

Bo: Here... drink this. Maybe it will warm you up?

Nora) Taking small sips) Thanks.

He sat down only inches away from her and waited for her to face him.

Bo: You want to tell me what you're doing here when you pretty much told me to get out of your life.

Nora (Pausing): I didn't really mean that Bo. Not really. I'm angry. I'm still angry... and I'm hurt. But... but I still love you. Maybe that's why you were the first person I thought of when I found out...

Bo: What? Nora what did you find out? Is there something you're not telling me?

Nora: I'm not quite sure how to tell you this. I swore I'd never give you this kind of power after I found out about you and Kelly. I wasn't going to tell you... but today I realized that that was more to punish you then because of what was in my best interest.

Bo: Are you ok? I hope you know that no matter what's going on between us, I'll always be here for you if you need me.

Nora (Pausing): The night I learned of your betrayal was also the night I found out some very upsetting news. Did you ever wonder why I was home early that day?

Bo: Come to think of it, I didn't even realize it was early. Why? Is there some kind of significance in that?

Nora: I told you that I needed you that night. And I was angry that you weren't there for me. Because when you were too busy getting comfort outside your marriage, your wife was sitting in a hospital room being told that she has cancer. (She started to cry)

Bo: Oh God... you have... you have cancer...

She just looked at him as she tried to regain her composure.

Bo: How bad... how bad is it?

Nora: I'm in the last stages of Liver Cancer. Basically what that means is that I'm dying. I need to have surgery and a transplant. But if I don't find a donor soon, it's going to be too late.

Bo: Nora... Nora I can't accept that you're going to die. I won't.

Nora: You might not have a choice. Even the high and mighty Buchanan's can't make a donor appear out of nowhere.

Bo: You want to bet? If I have to walk the streets of this world to bring you a donor then I'll do it. You're NOT going to die on me.

Nora (Wiping the tears from her face): Bo pleases. I can't do this. I can't waste my energy on maybes. Don't you think I want to live? I've spent all this time trying to find a way to fight fire with fire. But I can't do it anymore. I'm too tired.

He looked into her exhausted face. 

Bo: Come to think of it, you look like hell. Is there anything I can do for you to make this easier?

Nora: That's why I came here. I know that I may end up hating myself tomorrow but I really need to be with you tonight.

Bo: Nora...

Nora: No don't. I'm perfectly aware of what I said...and of what my situation is. But see the problem is that if I'm going to die then I want to go down remembering what it felt like to be in your arms. It's been so long that I can't even remember what your touch feels like.

(She leaned in and kissed him gently)

Bo: Are you sure this isn't going to make things worse for you? I really don't want to be accused of taking advantage of your pain.

Nora: You're not. You're giving me what I want. (Pause) Bo I'm scared. You're the only place I know I can go to for comfort. You always made me feel strong before. I need you to give me some of that strength again. (She kissed him again) Please don't turn me away. Just love me tonight. Please...

TBC


	10. Shattered Part 10

Shattered Part 10

The tears that trickled down her face were gently wiped away with Bo's hand as he tried to give her everything she needed. She was shaking out of fear and he looked into her eyes for reassurance that this was really what she wanted. She reached for his hand and he grabbed on to her with everything he had. There was one thing he had promised himself from the minute that she showed up on his doorstep tonight and that was that he wouldn't let her down this time.

When she shivered from the cold, he wrapped her in his arms as tight as she would let him. He kissed her gently as she seemed to beg him to continue. He only looked in her eyes.

Bo: There's one thing I have to tell you before this goes any further...

Nora: Bo, please... I don't want to think tonight.

Bo: I'm not expecting you to think. I'm not expecting you to do anything but what's in your heart. That's why I have to say this.

Nora: I guess I had my turn to vent. I suppose you should get yours.

She paused as he turned him around to face him.

Bo: I know that I spit in the face of everything we were. I broke your beautiful spirit and I crushed your dreams. And I'm not even asking you to forgive me because I know that I don't deserve it. What I am asking you is to remember the person you were before the fall... because that woman was full of energy, and beauty and spirit... and she would have the strength to stand here and fight for her life... because she was full of it...

Nora: Are you saying that you think I want to die?

Bo: I don't know. I hope not. (Pause) Nora, I know that you've had a tough time of it lately and a lot of that was my fault. But I just really need you to know that I have never regretted anything more then the one thing that finally drove you away.

Nora (Pausing): Bo, I know you're sorry. But that's really not the point is it?

Bo: I guess it's not. And I can't even say that I blame you because I'm not sure I'd act any different if the tables were turned. But Nora, I wish I could take back everything I ever did to hurt you because I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. 

Nora: You don't know how much I want to believe that. (Pause) I know you think I'm taking the easy way out Bo but the truth is that it kills me. It's never been easy for me to walk away from you. I never thought I'd have to. But staying hurts me too much.

Bo: You have no reason to believe anything I tell you but I really want you to know that I need you to be ok. I'm not asking you to fight for me. I'm asking you to fight for you.

Nora (Tears in her eyes): Why do you care so much?

Bo: Because I love you. And I can't stand to think of this world without you in it. If you never forgive me then that's ok because I'd rather have you alive and out of my reach then to have you in my arms for one more minute only to watch you die. I can't loose another woman I love. And I'd never survive loosing you.

She looked at him tenderly and then broke down in tears. He tried to put his arms around her but she pulled away.

Nora: Don't... don't do this Bo. It kills me to think that I'd be leaving you. I know how much you've lost. And I don't want to be the one who sends you over your limit. Maybe I should just walk away now so you don't have to watch me get sicker? Wouldn't that be easier for all of us?

Bo: EASY? YOU THINK ANY OF THIS IS EASY? Nora, I can't stand to watch you hurt. But it doesn't matter if you walk away and suffer alone or let me help you. Because either way, you're not fighting. And even if I never saw you suffer, I'd know when you were gone and I wouldn't suffer any less. That's not easy for any of us.

Nora: What do you want me to do? I can't make a miracle come true.

Bo: Maybe not. But you can start by believing that it's possible to happen on its own.

Nora: I don't know how to believe in magic anymore. 

Bo: then let me show you...

He took her hand and started leading her upstairs. She smiled when he led her into the bathroom. He turned on the hot water and locked the door. She laughed.

Nora: I thought you didn't want me making any rash decisions?

Bo: I don't. But if you're going to show up on my doorstep and beg me to make love to you then you can darn well bet that that's what I'm going to do. I'm very selfish when it comes to you...

He started to unbutton her shirt as he kissed her.

Bo: If you want me to stop then you better tell me now because if this goes much further I won't be able to.

Nora: I don't care about tomorrow. I came here because I wanted you tonight.

Bo: And if you wake up tomorrow and you decide that you made a mistake, will you be ok with the consequences?

Nora: I should be asking YOU that...

Bo: I have no delusions when it comes to you. I know that in all likelihood you are going to wake up tomorrow and walk away.

Nora: And you're ok with that?

Bo: I don't think I have much of a choice do I? This isn't really about me tonight. You came here because you wanted to be held. And you wanted to forget that we didn't have a marriage anymore or that you could be dying. Am I right?

Nora: Bo...

Bo: No, it's ok. I get it. And just so you know, I am completely ok with being your comfort tonight. If you want to walk away in the morning then I won't fight you. Hell, I won't even bring this up again if it's what you want. I just want to make sure that YOU won't hate yourself for this. You have to do what's right for you.

Nora: I told you that I didn't want to think and I meant that. Right now, in this moment, I want to make love to you and forget that our whole world isn't in line. I'm not going to ask you twice though. This is a one time only offer. And it doesn't involve anymore talking or rationalizing...

Bo: doesn't answer my question does it?

He smiles at her...

Nora: Don't worry about me. I survived a lot worse.

Bo: Was that a cheap shot?

Nora: Only if you want it to be...

Bo: Ok then...

She dropped her clothes and stepped into the shower.

Nora: Coming?

He followed her inside as they steamed up the bathroom with their wild abandon. They made love for most of the night and when Bo woke up in the morning, he found only a note. He was devastated by what was inside. 

TBC 


	11. Shattered Part 11

Shattered- Part 11

She was sitting on the bus bound for nowhere with tears streaming down her face. She had written the words she knew would break Bo's heart but in reality it was her own heart that was in a million pieces. She had left Llanview with nothing but the clothes on her back and all the memories she couldn't forget.

She knew that Bo would try to find her once he knew she was gone but she didn't know whether she would last that long. The chances of a transplant were slim to none and she couldn't bare to watch the man she loved with her whole heart watch her shrivel up and die in his arms. She wouldn't do that to him... not after Drew... not after she knew the pain of losing someone she loved... the truth she never shared with anyone.

She stared at the diary in her hands and scribbled those heartbreaking words.

_I killed my own baby and I'm sorry. _

The doctors had told her not to blame herself. The cancer had caused her to lose her child. It wasn't something that could be controlled. But in her own heart, she had held her child in her arms and lost her because she was sick. She would never forget the feeling of knowing that her baby was nothing but a blob of skin. They had placed that small fabric in her arms when she had begged them too and she cried until she couldn't cry anymore. She wanted Bo... God how she wanted Bo to hold her and tell her everything would be ok. But she never told him she lost their child because she couldn't put him through that again. Even after everything that had happened, she couldn't bring herself to break his heart when he had broken hers... body, soul, and mind.

By the time she stepped off the bus in a town she wasn't quite sure she knew anymore, she had already cried all the tears she could muster. She had felt alone when she left and now she felt more depressed then anything. Every time she closed her eyes, she could see them making love like there was no tomorrow, and for her there just might not be. She sat down by the river and prayed. 

Nora: Dear God, I know that I've asked you for a lot lately. And I may not have been the best person in the world these days. But if you're out there, please help me. I really don't want to die and I'm scared to death that if I do, its going to destroy the life of the only man I've ever loved with my whole heart. He's hurt me so much. So much so that I have no idea why I still care. But I can't bear to think of him in pain over me either. Please help me. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I love Bo. I'll always love Bo. But he broke my heart and I can't let him do it again. On the other hand, I feel so lost without him. All I want to do is run home and tell him that everything's ok and that I want him to come home. I know I can't do that but I don't want to think of my life without him. So if you have time, please just help me be ok. I don't want to die.

She put her head in her hands and cried.

That was when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up shocked.

Nora: I never thought I'd see YOU again...What are you doing here?

Bo had read the words that had ripped him to shreds. The words that he had hoped to never hear.  
__

Dear Bo,

by the time you read this, I'll be gone. Last night was about revenge. I wanted you to want me so much that you'd regret ever breaking my heart. When you did, I had every intention of backing away. But then I got to thinking that it would be better if I gave you one more ride with the best. I'm sorry Bo. I never meant for it to go that far but we always had great sex and I guess I needed it as much as you did that night. The only difference is that for me it was sex and for you it was probably more. I can't forgive you for what you did and if you ever thought I could then you don't know me at all. Maybe you should go back to your wh when I'm gone. I bet she'll make you forget I ever existed. Don't miss me Bo. I sure as hell don't miss you.

Love, Nora 

He knew those last words were meant as a deliberate attack but he couldn't figure out why. He had spent the night in her arms and he thought he was getting through to her. But now he was sitting in his room missing her and she was somewhere across the world, probably not missing him at all. Or if she was, she just didn't care enough to stay.

He had never thought it was possible for one person to hurt him so bad but those words had stung him in the gut. Maybe he deserved it for hurting the best woman he knew but somehow he couldn't imagine deserving THIS much pain. Was that what that letter was about...was she testing him somehow? He wished he knew what she meant in that letter because those words did not belong to the woman he loved... the woman who just happened to be dying.

He took the letter and ripped it into pieces as he downed a bottle of alcohol. Then he threw a picture at the mirror and it shattered. 

Bo: ten years of bad luck? Yeah right. Like it could ever get worse then this.

Just then the door opened and he saw Kelly...

Bo: Go away. I don't want to deal with you right now. 

Kelly: What the hell is wrong with you? Have you been drinking?

Bo: So what if I have? I just lost the best thing I ever had because of you?

Kelly: So I take it that means Nora's moved out?

Bo: Moved out? I wish that's all it was. Then I could fight it. But Nora's a very stubborn woman. If she can't have it all, she wants nothing. I have no idea where she is. I've called every number I have of her and no one seems to know where she is. 

Kelly: Ok so...

Bo: Kelly, she hates me. She said she'd never forgive me and that ... well lets just say she took her revenge in the worst possible way... a way that would hurt me more then anything else. Maybe I shouldn't care. Maybe I even deserve this because I'm the one who broke her heart. But you know what? I love her and I really wanted to believe that we still had a chance. Now she's out there somewhere probably doing something I'm going to regret. And I'm scared... I'm scared I'm going to lose her for good. 

Kelly: Bo, just because she left doesn't mean she's not going to come back. She probably just needs to cool down.

Bo: You don't get it Kelly... Nora's not just going to cool down. She may not have the time.

Kelly: What do you mean?

Bo: She's dying... and it's all my fault.

TBC


	12. Shattered Part 12

Shattered- Part 12

Bo looked at Kelly with tears in his eyes and for the first time they both knew that their mistake was costing much more then they ever anticipated.

Kelly: How bad is it Bo?

Bo: She has cancer. It's eating away at her liver and if she doesn't find a transplant, she's going to die.

Kelly: Oh God... God you must be so afraid.

Bo: This isn't about me Kelly. It's about a woman I have loved with my whole heart for as long as I can remember... a woman who has ALWAYS put everyone else before herself... and a woman who I hurt beyond reason. (Pause) If you could understand the guilt... she wanted me to be there... she tried to call me... but I didn't pick up the phone. What kind of man does that to his wife? To a good woman who never deserved anything but his faithfulness?

Kelly: You didn't know. God Bo, you have to stop this. What's happening to Nora is HORRIBLE. It is. I'm not trying to deny that. But you can't blame yourself. If you had known she was sick, you would have been there.

Bo: I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE. She was my wife. What did I ever do but push her away? I wasn't being fair to her and she knew it... but she loved me anyway. If you only knew how much I wish I could take back that one night with you. I don't want to be cruel but honestly, looking at you now makes me sick... I threw everything away on some stupid one night stand that never meant anything to me. Dam it Kelly, I hate myself for doing that to her.

Kelly: I know you do. And I don't feel so great myself. She was my friend and my mentor. Somehow I think that sleeping with your friend's husband doesn't qualify as OK behavior. So yeah, I feel pretty sick myself. But what do you want me to do about it? We can't take it back. As much as we wish we could, what's done is done. All we can do now is pick up the pieces and try to move on.

Bo: That's what I'm trying to do. I have no choice but to sell this house.

Kelly: WHAT? Why?

Bo: You think I could live here, knowing what I did to her on the couch where WE had made love many times before? This was OUR home. Now it's nothing but the four walls that undid our life together. If I have any chance of getting her back, I have to destroy the memories that kill her.

Kelly: And what about the cancer?

Bo: Well one thing I WON'T do is let her die. I let her down once, I WON'T do it again.

Nora turned to face her brother with tears in her eyes.

Nora: Last time I saw you, you were going away to war. You look pretty good for a man who survived the brink of death.

Stephen: come here beautiful...

He took her hand and embraced her for the longest hug in history.

Stephen: You know, I know that look. You're hurting. You want to tell your big brother who's got you in tears?

Nora: It's a lot of things really. I guess the biggest is that I'm trying to figure out whether I want to stay with a man who broke my heart.

Stephen: Oh sweetie... I knew you had gotten married and moved out of Chicago. Mom and dad said you two were very happy so what happened?

Nora: His son died... and then so did our marriage. He ended up cheating on me.

Stephen: Oh baby. That's rough. But I take it you still love him?

Nora: Like crazy. And that's the thing... I can't stop loving him. I don't know what to do Stephen? I love him but he's hurt me. How do I forgive something like that?

Stephen: (Pause) Sit down sis. I'm going to share something with you that may help you make up your mind about a lot of things.

Nora (Sitting on the bench): Sounds kind of ominous...

Stephen: I guess in a way it is. (Pause) I loved a woman who I hurt the same way Bo has hurt you. And when I lost her, I lost my whole perspective.

Nora: What do you mean?

Stephen: I mean I lost my heart. I did some things that got me in trouble. And I'm only back here now because I realized that lashing out wasn't going to bring her back. I didn't get that second chance Nora. And I'm not saying I deserved it, but who knows how different things would have been if I had. Maybe what you need to do is figure out whether you'd be ok if Bo wasn't in your life at all. (Pause) I love you sis and you know I'm on your side. And if you want me to beat him up then you know I will. (They laughed slightly) But you have to figure out whether you'd be able to live with yourself if Bo was suddenly not around at all. Can you live with that sis? Is your pain stronger then your love?

TBC 


	13. Shattered Part 13

**Shattered- Part 13**

coming back to Llanview was a decision that she didn't take lightly. Though there was a big part of her that wanted to keep running, there was also a part of her that knew that that was an unrealistic thing to do. She almost kept driving when she saw Kelly's car in the driveway but she had to find a way to let go of the anger so she forced herself to go up anyways. They were both shocked to find her there, looking as if she had never left at all.

Kelly: Nora, I…

Nora: Please don't. I'm not in the mood to fight with either of you right now. I don't have the strength.

Bo: Where did you go? I was worried sick about you.

She ignored his question and walked passed Kelly into the hotel room.

Nora: It's pretty obvious that we're going to run into each other from time to time. I can't pretend that it's likely that I'll ever forget what you did… what you both did. It hurts. As a matter of fact, it kills. I trusted you… I trusted both of you… and you (to Bo)… with you it was so much worse because I not only trusted you with my life, I trusted you with my heart. If you had asked me a couple months ago, heck even days ago, I never would have said that I believed that you would ever crush my heart so completely.

She paused as she walked over to Kelly…

Nora: Kelly, there was a time when I considered you one of my best friends. I saw you mature as the years went by and I know that you went through a lot of pain in those years. But if you were really my friend this never would have happened.

Kelly: I can see why you would think that, but honestly Nora, I never meant to hurt you. I know it seems like a total cliché but it's true. I loved you like a second mother. You can't possibly know how sorry I am to know that you'll never look at me the same.

Nora (Wiping the tears from her face): The sad thing is that I loved you too. That's why it hurts so much. But a true friend never would have spent so much time with her friend's husband alone in her house. I trusted you both and it never occurred to me that I would be betrayed in my own home by two of the most important people in the world to me. But it happened and now I have to look at the reasons why.

Bo: Please Nora; there are no reasons that make sense. It was just a terrible mistake. 

Nora: Even mistakes happen for a reason. (Pause) You shut me out Bo. I might have been able to understand this if it had happened at a different time in our lives. But we were happy. We were planning on starting a family. And I never gave you a reason to doubt where my loyalty lied. I didn't deserve to be cheated on. (Pause) How you could have shut me out and turned to another woman instead of your wife makes me think that there was more going on. I guess maybe that's why I came back. I need to know if you were just looking for a way out… because if that's the case we should just end it now.

Bo: I don't want to end anything with you. I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness but I need you to understand that I love you with everything I am. I'm begging you not to walk away from me… and us…

Nora: Don't put this on me. YOU are the one who walked away from us. How can you expect things to just pick up where they left off when you just destroyed everything we ever held sacred? How can you expect me to ever trust you again? Don't you understand that my heart is in pieces…?

He took his hand and gently wiped the tears from her face.

Bo: I love you Nora. I wish I could take your pain away. I REALLY wish I could take back everything I ever did to hurt you but I can't. All I can do now is tell you that I'm sorry and hope that someday you will be able to find it in your heart to give this fool another chance. 

Nora (Crying): You know what? You're a jerk. You're a big fat jerk for doing this to me. I came here, perfectly content with ending things for good. I figured that I'd rather go through the hurting now when it would be a lot worse if I prolonged the agony. 

Bo: How's that going for you?

Nora: I can't do it. Somehow I can't get myself to say the words. It hurts to stay Bo but it hurts even more to think of my life without you. I wish I could just hate you. It would make walking away so much easier… but I guess that's the bottom line isn't it? It would never be easy to walk away from you. I still love you madly.

They stared at each other before he suddenly grabbed her and started kissing her passionately. It was then that they both realized they were alone. Bo went to lock the door and pull the shades. When he yanked the phone out of the wall, she knew there was no turning back. It was hard to put out a raging fire once it had already been lit. And the truth was, she didn't think she wanted to.

When he returned, he backed her up against the wall. Their eyes lingered just a little bit before their mouths met in a hungry kiss.

Bo: You know, if you want me to stop you better tell me now because if this goes much further I'm not going to be able to…

She moved closer to him and ran her hands under his shirt. She was driving him crazy and she knew it.  
Nora: I'll tell you what I want?

She yanked his shirt open and started to kiss him. He was just about to reach for her shirt when she pulled away.

Bo: What? What's going on?

Nora: This isn't going to work? Not like this? Not here?

Bo somehow managed to walk up from behind and maneuver her shirt off without batting an eye. She turned around and met his lips. They lingered probably longer then they should have as she was slowly loosing the battle with desire.

Nora: I want you to stop…

He kissed her…

Bo: Are you sure?

Nora (Kissing him back): Yeah I'm sure…

The kissing continued. When they were suddenly backing into a wall, she kissed him back. Then she looked up at him.

Nora: As long as you know this doesn't mean anything. I'm still mad at you…

Bo: Oh yeah, mad… (Kissing her) I get it…

Nora: Good… Good… because it doesn't change anything.

One more kiss and they were out of control… all night long….

TBC


	14. Shattered Part 14

Shattered- Part 14

Nora woke up in Bo's arms the next morning and for a moment she almost forgot that she no longer had a marriage and she might be living her last moments on earth. It was that peaceful tranquility that somehow made her heart a little lighter for a moment when she looked over and saw the man she still loved lying in her arms like nothing had ever happened. When he woke up and saw her smiling at him, he was almost afraid to ask. He had a feeling this was just the calm before the storm.

Bo: You didn't leave last night. Is it too much to hope that it could mean something for us?

Nora: I wish you wouldn't make this so hard for me. I needed you last night. That doesn't mean it will ever happen again. Hearing you make all these plans for us really hurts me… because I might not be around to even fight you on them.

Bo: Do you WANT to fight me on them Nora?

Nora (Pause): I haven't forgiven you Bo. I certainly haven't forgotten. Right now, we don't have a marriage. Just because I slept with you doesn't mean that any of that's changed. I can't trust you. Right now that's what I need more then anything… someone I can rely on. I'm not sure that you're that person.

She sat at the edge of the bed as she tried to organize her thoughts. When she turned around, Bo couldn't help but see the tears in her eyes.

Nora: You REALLY hurt me Bo. More then the cancer… more then anything I'm going through right now… YOU are the one who hurts me the most. (Pause) I know that you're sorry and I wish to God I could just tell you that all is forgiven but the simple fact is that it's not. I can't just sweep everything under the rug just because being with you feels better then being without you. The hurt is still there… the feeling of being under water without any air is still there… and no matter what you say to me to make things right, you just can't make me believe anything you say. The bottom line is that you broke the connection and now I just don't trust you with anything of mine… especially my heart. (Pause) I love you SO much… more then I've ever loved anyone. And it kills me to think that we could possibly be over for good… but I can't do this. I can't look in your eyes and listen to all your declarations of love. They don't change anything. I gave you everything I had when I gave you my heart… but you left me with nothing when you broke it. Can't you understand that my whole life is meaningless now? You were the center of everything I am and could ever hope to be. It's a struggle trying to find a new center but I have to do it for me. I built my life around loving you and it didn't get me anything but shattered dreams and a broken heart. If you want to help me, please just leave me alone. I don't have the strength to fight you.

She locked herself in the bathroom until she was sure that Bo was gone. When she came out, she saw the note lying on the bed. She started to cry when she read it.

_Nora, _

Oh my beautiful Red… I'm so sorry that I could have ever hurt you as much as I did. I wish there were words to make the pain in your heart stop because if there was a way to do it, I would take back everything I ever did to hurt you. I don't know how I can make you look at me with love in your heart again and maybe I truly did destroy that for good. But Nora, I DO love you… more then I've ever loved anyone in my life. The thought of you leaving this world is too much for me. You don't deserve to pay for my mistakes. If there's any way for you to be able to look at me with love again then I have to set you free.

When I saw the pain in your eyes tonight, it finally hit me that I don't have the right to fight you on this. I was the one who stepped out on our marriage and no matter how much I try to rationalize that with my own pain, it doesn't matter. I did the one thing I promised myself I wouldn't… I took the best woman I know and I broke her in two. My feelings for you will never change. I'll love you till the day I die and beyond and I'll never stop trying to find a way to convince you of that. But right now I'm backing off. You need to put everything you have into beating this cancer. If I make that harder for you to do then I won't come around. But please don't give up on your life. You are way too precious to me to ever loose in a way that's so senseless.

You might not need me here but you do need me. I'm going to find you a donor if it's the last thing I ever do. Please don't tell me I'm wasting my time because nothing is ever a waste with you. If I have to travel halfway around the world to save your life then I'll do it in a heartbeat. You are the best thing that ever happened to me Red. Please don't let your anger and hurt tarnish the memories of a truly amazing love story. I loved you then and I love you now. But I guess sometimes love isn't enough.

I'm sorry Nora. I know it doesn't make up for anything but I do need you to know that I will hate myself for the rest of my life for hurting you. I love you with my whole heart and I hope that someday you'll be able to forgive me. I guess now we'll both find out if it's really true that if you really love someone you let them go and if they were ever yours then they'll come back to you. Please come back to me baby. I'll be waiting.

Bo 

When she dropped the letter, she noticed that her eyes were filled with tears. Nothing was ever simple when it came to her and Bo. She loved him madly and if there was a way for her to just forget then she wouldn't hesitate to be with him. But she had to let him go. As much as she missed him, as much as heart ached for him, she couldn't trust him. And as hard as it was for her to admit, she couldn't trust herself to be with him. She lost herself when she had given him everything and now she couldn't afford that. If there was no tomorrow then what good would loving him do either of them? She had to put herself first this time… she had to find a way to exist without him and still be ok. Her life just might depend on it. 

Fighting the urge to numb herself and forget everything that was hurting her, she picked up the phone and called the one person she knew would understand.

Nora: Viki, do you think you could come over? I could really use a friend.

TBC 


	15. Shattered Part 15

**Shattered- Part 15**

Nora ran into Viki's arms the moment she opened the door. She was crying so hard that Viki couldn't tell if her tears had ever stopped. She took her hand and cupped her face in her hands. Slowly she wiped the tears from her face.

Viki: Sweetie... Why all the tears? They're messing up that pretty face.

She only smiled as they sat down on the bed.

Nora: My life is a Mess Viki. I didn't know where else to go.

Viki: You know that you can ALWAYS come to me. I'm your friend and I care about what happens to you.

Nora: But... But you're also Bo's friend. I don't want to put you in the middle of what may very well be the end of us.

Viki(Pausing): I'd hate to think it was... but if it is... then it still doesn't change anything for me.(Pause) You are one of my closest friends and right now I see someone who is so far away from who she used to be that it scares me. I hate to see you beat yourself up over something... anything... So let me ask you point blank... What did Bo do that has got you running scared? And why would you rather face it alone then with the man I KNOW you still love?

Viki looked at Nora's eyes as she tried to focus. They were empty and glassy.

Viki: He really hurt you sweetie. I can see it in your eyes. There's no emotion there. The only time I've ever seen that look in someone's eyes was... (Pause) I don't want to think this about Bo because it doesn't make sense and I love him. But I also love you. And right now you're so lost that I have to ask. He didn't abuse you did he?

Nora (Pausing): No. That's one thing he would never do. Although sometimes I wish that's what it was. A bruise would heal faster then an emotional scar. Those take ages to subside.

Viki: Ok, so what was it then? What DID he do? I know that he cheated on you, and I know that you're sick. Is that what we're talking about here or is it something else?

Nora (Pausing): Damn it Viki, it hurts. I walked in on them right after it happened. I can't get it out of my head. Every time I think I'm getting somewhere I see it in my mind... and I don't know whether it's my own fears or if he's really not through with her. But I ALWAYS seem to catch them in the worst situations possible. I can't trust him. And it scares me to death because I really need him and he can't be there.

Viki: Oh sweetie. I'm sorry. It breaks my heart that he would do that to you. Especially after everything you sacrificed for him.

Nora (Crying): Why does it have to hurt so much? I love him Viki. But it hurts me so much. He hurts me.

Viki: He's the one who needs to hurt. Not you. You didn't do this Nora. You did nothing but try to be there for him and he wouldn't take anything you had to offer. He's a damn fool for treating you with such little respect. (Pause) There's more isn't there?

Nora: How Can I forget that he slept with Kelly in my own home... in my bed… where WE used to sleep… where WE used to make love. It's like a photograph in my mind that won't go away. She took everything that was mine. My house, my bed, my husband…

Viki: Oh sweetie, I wish I had some good advice for you. I know how much you loved him. And finding him in bed with someone you trusted has got to be the worst thing you've ever had to endure.

Nora: You can say that again…

Viki: Ok so don't let him do this to you. He stepped out on YOU, not the other way around. I don't care what his reasons were or how much he was hurting over Drew... or Kelly for that matter... they disrespected you in your own home... where your supposed to be able to be safe. He needs a good swift kick in the A**.

Nora: That's what _I_ told him.

Viki: GOOD. Honey you loved him more then he deserved. You forgave him every time he tore you down. I saw what that did to you. And you gave him everything in spite of it. DON'T blame yourself for this. It's NOT your fault that your husband couldn't keep his pants on. (Pause) Honey I'm sorry. That was kind of unnecessary wasn't it? The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you more then you've already been hurt.

Nora (Crying): Its only brutal honesty Viki. I can handle that. What I can't handle is my husband deciding it's OK for him to sleep with another woman in the house that he shared with _me._ That's unacceptable to me. That's unforgivable. And the fact is that I _keep _finding them together. Do you think its still going on Viki? Is he still cheating on me behind my back?

Viki: I'll tell you what? You put that out of your mind. If he is, then I'll find out. And believe me, you'll be the first to know. (Pause)Somehow I still feel like there's more. What aren't you telling me sweetie.

Nora: You _know_ I have cancer—what you _don't_ know is _when_ I found out. I _only_ found out about Bo and Kelly because I came home early. And I _only_ came home early because I needed him... because I was_ just_ diagnosed with cancer… liver cancer. I wanted to just forget what I saw and let him hold me and make everything ok but I couldn't... because it wasn't ok. I wasn't ok, we weren't ok... and... And our baby wasn't ok.

Viki: Baby?

Nora: I was pregnant. The Cancer killed our child. I made a grave at the park... I bring flowers every night and pray that our child is somewhere looking down on me, knowing that I would have loved her... or him... with everything inside me...

She didn't say anything more. She just wrapped Nora in her arms and held her till she stopped crying.

Viki: You need to get some sleep sweetie. You look exhausted.

Nora: I'm afraid to close me eyes and dream.

Viki: You know what you do for a bad dream Nora? You change the ending. If you start to have nightmares then you just put all that positive energy into it and make it a happy dream. It's YOUR mind remember.

Nora: You're pretty smart you know that?

Viki: so I've been told.

She helped her into bed and lay with her until she nodded off. She slipped out of the hotel and into her car. She arrived at the house a few minutes later. She stopped Bo and Kelly just as they were leaving.

Viki: You two aren't going ANYWHERE... NOT until I have my say.

TBC


	16. Shattered Part 16

Shattered- Part 16

Bo and Kelly took one look at Viki's face and knew she wasn't messing around. Viki followed them inside and slammed the door shut.

Bo: Look, Viki, whatever it is you're thinking, you're wrong.

Viki: AND WHAT EXACTLY AM I WRONG ABOUT BO? ARE YOU ACTUALLY GOING TO STAND THERE AND TELL ME YOU WEREN'T A TOTAL JERK? MY GOD, BO, DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO HER? DO YOU EVEN CARE?

Bo: OF COURSE I CARE. Viki, I LOVE HER. That hasn't changed.

Viki: Well you have a funny way of showing it. You shouldn't be here Bo. You should be with your wife.

Bo: She doesn't want me around.

Viki: And can you blame her? Bo, regardless of your reasons, you had an affair, and you had one in her own home… a place where she's supposed to be able to feel safe. Not only did you take away her belief in you and your marriage, you took away her security. And now look at you… you're exactly where you SHOULDN'T be? So tell me Bo… Are you still doing it? Are you STILL having an affair behind your wife's back because if you are then you deserve the worst kind of pain… you both do.

Bo: Viki, I know that you care about Nora…

Viki: CARE? CARE? OH NO, IT'S MUCH MORE THEN THAT. She's my best friend and I love her. She doesn't deserve one shred of what you put her through.

Bo: No she didn't. And I wish to God I could take it back but I can't. All I can do now is find her a donor.

Viki: Is that what you were doing? Because it sure doesn't look like it? As a matter of fact, Maybe Nora's right. Maybe you really ARE still carrying on behind her back. And if that's the case, then you don't deserve anything to do with her.

Bo: I'm not sure I DO deserve her Viki. I won't argue that fact. But believe me when I say that NOTHING is going on. What happened between me and Kelly was a horrible mistake but it only happened once. I love my wife and I can't stand the thought of loosing her.

Viki: Then get over yourself and go see her. She needs you right now. And I don't care what she says.

Bo: Viki, if I can't find her a donor then its not going to matter anymore. I won't let her check out of this world without a fight.

Viki: None of are. But Nora needs her husband WITH her. So get off your butt and go find her. I'll take care of the donor. You're NOT the only one with connections you know.

Bo (Pause): Thanks Viki.

Viki: Don't thank me yet. And believe me Bo… If I find out that you have done ANYTHING to hurt her again, I'm going to make sure you know the meaning of pain. That woman is the best thing that's ever happened to you. Start acting like you deserve her.

After Bo left the room, Viki turned to Kelly.

Viki: You know, you've been pretty quiet Kelly. DON'T think I'm letting you off the hook.

Kelly: I'm sorry Viki. What do you want me to do? I can't take what happened back. I wish I could but I can't.

Viki: Do you REALLY want to take it back Kelly? Because from where I stand, you look like you're looking for excuses… and there aren't any. You betrayed one of the best people I know in her own home… and now you want to act like the wounded party. You CAN'T do that Kelly. She deserves better then that from a woman who was once a friend of hers.

Kelly: Don't you think I KNOW that? My God Viki… I hate myself for what I did to Nora. She didn't deserve ANY of it.

Viki: No she didn't. (Pause) Look Kelly… I think you know that I'm disappointed in you. But you were also part of my family for a while and I'm not here to throw stones. What I AM here to do is look out for my best friend. She's very sick Kelly. And she can't fight her own battles. She just doesn't have the strength. So if you want to do anything for her… STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM HER HUSBAND.

Kelly took one more look at Viki and walked out the door. Viki went to the phone.

Viki: Its me. I need to see you right away.

Nora had just gotten out of bed and was walking towards the bathroom when she heard a knock at the door. She tried to gain her composure and walk to the door but she lost her footing. She grabbed hold of the walls to prop herself up but she lost the battle as her world went Dark. When Bo got no answer, he began to get worried and kicked the door open. He found her lying on the floor unconscious.

Bo: NORA, NORA OPEN YOUR EYES. NORA.

As he tried to bring her out of unconsciousness, he discovered she was burning up.

Bo: Oh God…

He scooped her up in his arms and wrapped her in a blanket. Then he carried her out of the room and headed straight for the hospital.

Bo: If you can hear me Red… you have to fight this. I love you… More then I have a right to, but it's the truth. If you can fight this for me, I swear to God I'll do anything you want. But I am NOT living my life without you in it. You hear me baby… Fight this. I can't make it without you. Everyone knows you're my heart and my compass. If you're not here then you might as well take me too. I can't do it without you baby. I just can't.

TBC


	17. Shattered Part 17

**Shattered- Part 17**

Bo carried an unconscious Nora into the hospital and started screaming for a doctor. He laid her on a gurney as Larry was coming out of the room.

Bo: You've got to do something Larry. She's burning up.

Larry: How long has she been out of it Bo?

Bo: I have no idea. When I came to check on her, there was no answer so I kicked the door in and found her lying on the floor. I tried to wake her up but she wasn't responding. I didn't know what else to do so I brought her here.

Larry: then you may have saved her life.

Bo: Larry, Please… I… I know she's dying. I know she has cancer. But you have to find a way to bring her back. She has people in this world that need her.

Larry: I know. And I'll do everything in my power to save her. You just need to try and calm down while I do that.

And with that he watched them wheel her into the emergency room. He just stood at the window and tried to hold back tears as they hooked her up to a million different machines. And then… then he did something he hadn't done in a really long time… then he prayed.

Bo: Dear God… God if you can hear me please don't take her from me. I will gladly stand in the line of fire and take her place but don't take a good woman out of this world after so much pain. Don't make her pay for my mistakes.

* * *

Viki sat at the palace and waited. When she saw him walk in, she breathed a sigh of relief. Then she embraced him.

Viki: I was beginning to think you weren't coming.

Asa: Sounded important. What can I do for you?

Viki: It's Nora. She's dying.

Asa (Upset): What do you mean dying?

Viki: She has cancer. She needs a liver transplant fast. I came to you because I know how much you love her… and I also know you have a way of getting things done. If Nora doesn't get a transplant soon, she's not going to make it.

Asa: You know I would do ANYTHING for that woman. Where is my son in all of this? He DOES know doesn't he?

Viki: Nora finally broke down and told him. But you should know that they're not exactly the loving couple they once were. Nora moved out of the house.

Asa: It was that bad? (Looking at her) Ok what is it Viki? What did my son do?

Viki: He cheated on her… with Kelly. Nora had the misfortune of walking in on them in the act. That's why she didn't tell him right away. She wasn't going to either… until she realized that her keeping him in the dark was more to punish him.

Asa: Oh man.

Viki: Look, Asa, I know you're a man and you probably think that this isn't such a big deal… especially since you've done it yourself. But Nora was devastated. She was devastated because your son treated her like dirt for months and then finally did the one thing he knew would push her away for good. He was trying to punish himself for Drew's death and he succeeded. The problem is that he still loves her and she's too sick to see it.

Asa: I can't believe my son would be foolish enough to hurt her like that. Is there any chance she'll forgive him?

Viki: If she lives long enough to do it then maybe. Nora's a lot more forgiving then your son is. Right now we really need to find her a donor or all of this is a moot point. You CAN'T let her die Asa. You have to help her. We all love her too much to loose her.

Asa: Of course I'll help her. I'm not letting her leave the people who love her. And when I DO find a donor, I'm going to have a serious talk with my son. In the meantime, you need to remember that Nora's a fighter. She's still a Buchanan… and those Hanen women are pretty tough too so either way she's got good genes. She's NOT giving u without a damn good fight.

Viki: I just hope she knows she's got something to come back to.

Asa: Well if she doesn't then we need to find a way to remind her. (Pause) I better get working on this. Give Nora my love will you.

Viki: I will. And thanks Asa. If Nora lives through this, I'll owe you more then you could ever know.

Asa: WHEN Nora lives through this, that's all the reward I'll need.

And with that he walked away and Viki got a call from Bo that Nora was at the hospital.

* * *

Viki came running in the hospital moments later and Bo was still in the waiting room pacing the floors.

Viki: How is she?

Bo: I don't know. They won't tell me anything yet.

Viki: Well what happened?

Bo: I went to check on her and there was no answer. I got worried so I kicked the door in and found her unconscious. She was burning up. I didn't know what else to do so I brought her here.

Viki: Well it's a good thing you did. Things aren't looking good are they?

Bo: She was so pale. I'm afraid of what they're going to tell us.

Viki: Bo… no matter what they say… we need to give Nora a reason to fight… something to come back to. I know you two are having your problems but…

Bo: I love her Viki. If I could trade places with her I would. There's nothing more that I want then a life with her… if she can ever forgive me.

Viki: Then we better pray. And YOU better pray that she's got a bigger capacity for forgiveness then YOU do.

At that moment Larry walked out. Bo and Viki both knew the news was bad.

Bo: What? Just tell me what it is Larry?

Larry: Her heart stopped for a moment there. We were able to get it started up again but things don't look good Bo. She NEEDS a transplant like yesterday. If she doesn't find one soon, she's going to die.

Bo: can I see her?

Larry: Of course. She's asking for you anyways.

Viki turned to Larry after Bo left.

Viki: She can't die Larry. She just can't die.

He pulled her into a hug as she cried.

* * *

Bo walked over to Nora's bedside as she was looking at him. She was really weak but all he could think about was how beautiful she looked. He took her hand in his and waited for her to speak.

Nora (Weakly): I didn't want to take the chance that I would die before getting a chance to tell you… I love you Bo. I love you so much.

Bo: You have no idea how much you mean to me. I'm sorry Nora. I'm sorry for hurting you.

Nora: I know you are. I know you didn't mean to hurt me. That's why… that's why I want you to know that I forgive you.

Bo: Oh God… God Nora, you have to fight this. I can't make it in a world without you. I can't loose you too.

Nora: I'm fighting with everything I have. But I'm tired Bo. I can only fight so hard. And I can only fight so long. If I don't get that donor…

He cut her off with a kiss…

Bo: There is NO WAY you are NOT getting that donor. I'm not letting you die on me Sweetie. If I have to fight death itself to bring you back then you better believe that's exactly what I'll do. I love you Red. I love you so much…

Nora: That it hurts. I know. I know because I feel the same way. That's why there's something I want to ask you for.

Bo: You know that I would do ANYTHING for you.

Nora: Then marry me again… right here, right now. I don't want to die with the last memory being that we were over. If I'm going to die then I want to die as your wife… in your arms.

TBC


	18. Shattered Part 18

**Shattered- Part 18**

Bo looked up into Nora's tear streaked face and it killed him to see her in so much pain… it killed him to see her fight so hard to stay alive. And the thought that she might not be able to hold on long enough for a donor drove him crazy because she was everything to him. She was everything that mattered.

Bo: Nora, Please… please don't give up now. You've been fighting so hard for so long…

Nora: And I'm exhausted. I'm so damn tired. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of hurting. I just want it all to go away. I can't do it anymore Bo. I can't. (Taking his face in her hands) I love you so much. You're the _best_ thing that has _ever_ happened to me. And it kills me to think that I'll be leaving you behind. Especially after you just lost your son… But I don't have the strength to hold on for much longer. I don't have the strength to fight. Don't you understand how much this hurts me? I love you with everything I am and if love was enough to keep me alive, I'd be home free. But I'm living on borrowed time Bo… and every… every breath hurts. Please don't ask me to do it anymore. Please don't ask me to fight for something that hurts me.

Bo: Oh God sweetheart… God I'd give anything to make your pain go away. And you know that I would willfully trade places with you if I could.

Nora: I… I know that. But you can't. And if this is my time…?

Bo: No… No don't even say that. I will NOT say goodbye to the most amazing woman I've ever known. (He kisses her gently) If you want to get married then I'll go find someone who can make that a reality. But DON'T ask me to give up on you. Nora, you're the only life I know… the center of my world… I can't even begin to imagine living without that. Please don't quit on me. Please don't quit on US.

He kissed her one more time before he walked out the door and she cried. Viki came in and sat with her. She picked up her hand and stroked her hair as she watched her best friend slipping away. Then she kissed the top of her forehead and struggled to hold back the tears.

Nora: He can't let go Viki. He just can't bring himself to admit that it might be time to say goodbye.

Viki: Well I don't blame him. Nora, I can't even begin to imagine my life without you. You're my best friend… But honestly, I feel like you're more of a sister. I'm not ready to let you go. I'm not ready to say goodbye.

Nora (Tears in her eyes): The last thing I want to do is say goodbye… But… But I might not have a choice. I can't fight much longer Viki. I'm tired… so unbelievably tired… and every… every breath I take hurts me. I just want it to stop. I want all of it to stop.

Viki: Then you just rest sweetheart. (She kisses her hand and looks up at her, the tears finally falling). I know that this is extremely selfish of me Nora but… but I need to ask you to hold on just a little longer. I have someone looking for a donor… someone who KNOWS how to get things done. Please sweetheart… please just keep fighting… just a little longer. I'm begging you to fight for your life just until that donor can be found. If anyone can do it, you can. You're the strongest person I know. If you can't do it for yourself then do it for me… and Bo… and Rachel. We all need you Nora. We need you more then you could ever know. Don't… don't quit on us. Please don't quit on us.

Before she had a chance to say anything, the machines started going off and Viki called for help. They were able to stabilize her after her heart stopped momentarily but they all knew that Nora's time was running out. If they didn't find a donor soon then her heart would give out for good… and no amount of medical interventions would be able to prevent that.

Viki (Taking Nora's Hand): Dear God… Please… Please don't take her.

TBC


	19. Shattered Part 19

Shattered- Part 19

Bo didn't have time to find even a justice of the peace because Nora was getting too weak. He decided that if he couldn't make her his legal bride then at least he could hold up his end of the bargain symbolically so he grabbed a few things and headed back to her room. When he learned that her heart stopped, he began to wonder if this was such a good idea. Viki took his hands and spoke through a shaky voice.

Viki: She wanted to marry you Bo. That was her dying wish. If you can't get anyone to do it legally, then you need to do it just the two of you… and you need to do it now. She may not have much time.

She kissed the top of his head and left them alone. Nora's eyes opened and though she was weak she still managed a smile. He didn't have to say anything… he picked her up and carried her into the chapel. He had a nurse bring in her hospital machines as he took a wreath of flowers he fount at the gift shop and put it on her head.

Bo: You always did make a beautiful bride.

Nora: You can't be serious. I look like death… (Realizing her choice of words) sorry, bad analogy.

Bo: Nora, I don't care if you think that you're at death's door… you still take my breath away. Looking at you right now—you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Nora: Even in a hospital gown?

Bo: Even then.

She was wrapped in his arms as she was hooked up to a machine that was helping her breathe. She took her hand and cupped his face.

Nora: Marrying you was the smartest decision I ever made. You gave me more years of happiness then I ever had in my life. And I never felt more loved or more wanted. (Pausing as she catches her breath)I know that you didn't cheat on me because you didn't love me anymore and as much as it still hurts me to see that picture in my mind—and you have to realize that it's a snapshot I can't make go away—it's there in my nightmares— It's there every second of every day-- trying to drag me down--but even with all of that I've finally realized that as much as it hurts to stay, it would hurt even more to leave because even when we're at our worst—and this year has been as bad as you can get—it's still the best I've ever had. You ARE my greatest accomplishment other then Rachel. I love you more then words could ever say. I think you're a jerk for treating me the way you did when I have done NOTHING but love you and try and be there for you—but I still can't imagine my life without you. So if I make it through this—I want you to know that I won't throw you out of my life. But this is a one time only offer Bo—if you_ ever_ put me through that kind of pain again then we're done. Sometimes loving you is a curse. I can't live with it and I can't live without it.

Bo: Oh Red—I know that I really don't deserve another chance with you. I not only cheated on you with someone you trusted—someone you loved like a daughter—but I trashed you for so long before that. And yet you still put up with me and all of my crap. Why you're even willing to overlook that I'll NEVER understand. But I_ do_ want to tell you one thing. When I cheated on you, it_ wasn't_ because I didn't love you—it was because I was trying to punish myself for Drew's death… You were right about that… and I wish to God I could take it back. The only thing I can do now is promise to make sure you _never_ regret giving us another chance. I want a shot at being the man you believed in—the man you loved. I know I haven't been that man in a long time and I'm sorry. But the one thing that NEVER changed was how much I loved you. If you have any say in any of this, then _please_ fight for that because Nora I can't imagine my life without you. I know I hurt you—I know I don't deserve _any_ of this—but_ you_ don't deserve to pay for_ my_ mistakes with your life so please don't leave me. I love you more then anything in this world and if I could trade places with you, believe me I would. You will never understand how sorry I am.

She began to fade away in his arms when Larry rushed in with the news that Asa had found a donor. He kissed her gently and helped her back on the gurney.

Bo: You hear that baby-- you're going to be ok. You fight. Fight just a little longer and remember how much I love you. You have too much to live for. Don't you DARE die on me?

After she was wheeled away, Bo walked out in the waiting room and ran smack into his father.

Asa: You look like hell son. I guess that's what you get for screwing around.

Bo: I take it you know.

Asa: That you cheated on your wife and were emotionally abusive to her before that? Yeah I know. And I just have one question for you Son? _What the hell were you thinking?_ Don't you know that you will NEVER find another woman who will put up with all your crap? Were You TRYING to wreck the best thing that _ever _happened to you or were you just being a stupid ass?

TBC


	20. Shattered Part 20

**Shattered- Part 20**

He looked up at his father—knowing he was right but still not having the strength to discuss the worst mistake of his life. They said nothing more as they walked back into the chapel for some privacy.

Asa: I know this sounds a little like the pot calling the kettle black but I_ just _don't want _you _to make the same mistakes that_ I _did. There are a few women in this world who simply _don't _deserve to be cheated on—and Nora happens to be _one_ of them.

Bo: Don't you think I KNOW that. Don't you think I HATE myself for doing it to her?

Asa: Then why did you?

Bo: Because I'm an idiot. Because I didn't think I deserved _anything _good when I couldn't save Drew. There are a million different reasons why and _none_ of them make any sense. The bottom line is that I screwed up. Do we REALLY need to discuss _all_ the reasons why I _don't _deserve her?

Asa: If you're _still_ punishing yourself then yes we do. You need to get over this self-destructive streak Son. I_ know_ that you feel bad about what happened and that you miss him but _he's _not here. He _wouldn't_ want you to throw your life away out of some misplaced feelings of guilt. You are dam lucky that Nora still loves you after everything you put her through. _Most _women would have kicked your sorry butt out a long time ago. _So get your crap together and start ACTING like her husband. _Unless of course, you WANT her to leave you. Believe me Son—EVERY woman has her breaking point. And you and I both know that without _her_, you are _just _as bad as the rest of us. _She's _what makes you better.

Bo: Are you done?

Asa: For now. But _don't _think I won't give you hell if you_ let_ that woman get away. She_ doesn't_ deserve this from you—and YOU may not deserve her but you need her. She's the _best_ part of your life and you know it. So _stop _feeling sorry for yourself and figure out how you can earn back her trust. You've got _nobody _to blame but _yourself_ if you loose her.

Bo said nothing more when he walked out of the chapel and back into the waiting room. It seemed like the waiting went on forever. Finally, Larry walked out with the news. They all held their breaths in anticipation.

Larry: The first part of the procedure was a success. She has a new liver and she seems to be recovering pretty nicely. With that being said, we have to wait until her heart is able to take more surgery. She went into cardiac arrest a few times and we almost lost her on the operating table.

Bo: How long is that going to take? She doesn't have much time does she?

Larry: At this point, I'm hopeful. But I'm going to be honest with you Bo, this _isn't _a cakewalk. She has a type of cancer that usually kills people. The ONLY reason she's still alive is because we caught it early and because she's got an _extremely_ hard head.

Bo: I've _never _been more grateful for that.

Larry: Neither have I. (Pause) She's asking for you but I should warn you. She's in NO condition for arguments. Go easy on her Bo. She needs you.

He walked into her hospital room and sat down next to her bed. She looked up at him and smiled.

Nora: Are we going to make it through this Bo?

Bo: I think_ I _should be asking YOU that?

Nora: If love is enough to save us then we're in pretty good shape… but what about the trust? You shattered my belief in you Bo. How am I supposed to trust in us and in you after what you did? I _really _want to stay with you but I _need_ you to give me a reason why I _should_. You _haven't _been my husband in _months_—if I stay with you then I'm going to need more then just a few pretty words. I need you to be my husband again.

Bo: Nora, I'd do _anything_ to fix this. I just don't know how.

Nora: Then you _better_ figure it out. I love you but I am _so _angry with you… I'm _so _hurt—and I _just_ don't know how to burry the betrayal. I NEVER thought you would cheat on me and that's what you have to understand. For me, it was a _huge _shock… and the pain that I feel_ still _rocks me to the core. I _can't _just pretend that it never happened._ You_ cut me deeper then ANYONE _ever_ could. I _want _to forgive you—but you _need_ to _earn _that forgiveness because right now I _just_ don't trust you.

Bo: So where do we go from here?

Nora: I don't have a clue. I just know that I need to put all my strength into fighting this. I _can't_ worry about _us_ too.

Bo: Just tell me what you want baby. I would love nothing more then to stay here with you but if it's not what you need—

Nora: What I need is for you to turn back the clock and NOT cheat on me but since you can't do that, I think I need to be alone. I'm _not_ leaving you Bo—I'm just not ready to forgive you. I told you I wouldn't kick you out of my life and I meant that—but this has _really_ thrown me for a loop and I need to find my legs again. YOU need to figure out what you_ really _want because I_ won't _be your crutch this time Bo. You want me—find a way to get over your issues and SHOW me. I've been hurt _too _much to let you off the hook this time.

Bo: I love you Nora. I know you don't believe that but I do. And I know that I'm sorry doesn't exactly cover it this time so I'll walk away. But I'm NOT letting you give up on us this time. You need space—fine—I'll give it to you. Lord knows you deserve it after what I did to you. But I AM coming back. And I'll _keep _coming back until I find a way to convince you that you can trust me again.

Nora: Good. Believe it or not that's what _I _want too. I _do _love you Bo… so much that your betrayal almost killed me. I _can't_ afford to go down that road again—even for you.

He walked over to her hospital bed and brushed the hair out of her face. Then he looked deeply into her eyes and kissed her gently.

Bo: Nora Buchanan, you really _are_ the _only_ life I know. Loving you is the _only_ thing I know how to do. Though lately, I _haven't _done a very good job of that and I'm sorry. Somehow, someway, I will find a way to win you back. This _isn't _goodbye—it's just, see you later.

After he walked away, she started to hit the pillow with her fists as she cried hysterically.

Nora: _How could you do this to me? I loved you. I loved you. I REALLY thought I knew you better then this. Dam you Bo Buchanan. Dam You. _

TBC 


	21. Shattered Part 21

**Shattered- Part 21**

_--A Few Days Later--_

Nora's heart was still too weak for surgery and he was afraid of waiting too long because her cancer had already spread to various parts of her body in a rapid time frame. They made a plan of waiting a week and if she still wasn't strong enough then they'd do the surgery anyways. Nora was completely lucid and had decided she'd rather take the chance with surgery then live on borrowed time. Larry had agreed to let her go home but warned her about the risks of getting worked up. She _still _wasn't speaking to Bo so she moved in to a hotel room so she could have time to think about how she was going to get over some of these emotions without having to_ see_ the place where it happened. It wasn't doing much good because she could see it in her mind and it suffocated her. After having a full blown panic attack, she was about to leave the hotel when she got a visit from Asa.

Asa: How's my favorite Daughter in law?

Nora: That depends

Asa: On what?

Nora: On whether you are here to plead your son's case. I'm _not_ strong enough to listen to excuses about why I'm being too hard on him. You can cut it in a million different ways and the bottom line is _still_ the same—I DIDN'T deserve to be cheated on. Maybe if I had done something wrong then I could understand but it's a little hard to justify when I gave him_ everything_ he asked for.

Asa: I don't think_ anyone_ can deny the fact that my son is a first class jerk. And I'm sorry that he didn't respect you enough to be faithful.

Nora: So you're NOT here to ask me to speak to him?

Asa: No. I know that doing that would NEVER work. You have your reasons for shutting Bo out. But I do want to know if you're planning on leaving him so I can be prepared to take a vacation. Believe me—he's raising hell _now_… If you actually gave him the boot… oh man, anyone who knows what's good for him would get the hell out of dodge.

Nora: I'm sorry he's giving you trouble Asa but I can't speak to him right now.

Asa: Is that why you sent back the flowers chopped up? Man, woman, you have got _some _temper.

Nora: I've been cheated on. I'm entitled. And you can tell Bo that sending me material things isn't going to win me over this time. I need more.

Asa: And you deserve more.

He went over to her and pulled her into a hug.

Asa: I love you sweetheart. You need to get that heart healed so we can all breathe a sigh of relief and stop worrying about you.

Nora: Then PLEASE tell your son to stop calling me in the middle of the night and leaving me a dozen messages. I_ know_ he's sorry and hearing it a million times is NOT going to change how I feel. I need space. And I DON'T need to be scared out of my wits when I'm half asleep. It's NOT good for the old ticker you know?

Asa: I'll tell him. You're not going to make this easy for him are you?

Nora: Is there a reason why I should?

Asa: I don't suppose there is. Remind me never to get on your bad side. You can be lethal.

Nora: And _don't _you ever forget it.

After he walked away, Nora just stared at the pictures sitting on the table. She picked one up and threw it across the room, watching it shatter in much the same way as her heart. She tried to clean up the mess but ended up cutting herself. Wrapping her hand, she grabbed her purse and headed for the door, knowing that staying here was doing her no good. A little while later, she was standing in front of her door.

Kelly: What are you doing here?

Nora: Oh what's the matter Kelly? You're not happy to see me?

Kelly: It's not that, I just…

Nora: It's ok. I was joking.

She didn't wait to be invited in… Kelly looked at her, trying to read her but not having much luck.

Nora: You and I have a few things settle. I think I've been VERY generous with you. Now it's time for you to hear ME out.

Kelly: Haven't I already done that after you trashed my car?

Nora: That was the LEAST of your problems. What YOU stole from ME was a lot worse.

Kelly: What do you want? You've already made it clear that you don't want my apology so what DO you want?

Nora: What I REALLY want is your head on a platter but since I can't manage that, I'll settle for something I've wanted to do for MONTHS.

She didn't give her time to digest anything. She just slugged her.

Nora: I _loved_ you like a daughter. I _trusted_ you with things I _shouldn't_ have trusted you with. And I _believed_ that you were better then this. But you—what did YOU do—YOU SLEPT WITH MY HUSBAND. That means YOU'RE DEAD TO ME. I'm here for payback. You go near my man again and I swear to God I will rip your heart out and throw it to the sharks and I don't_ care_ who you're related to. You will NOT break up my family again.

She was about to walk away when she saw something on the table that caught her eye. And her heart sunk.

TBC


	22. Shattered Part 22

**Shattered- Part 22**

Nora could feel her body grow weak as she stumbled past the table and back towards Kelly. The pain in her eyes was clearly evident and Kelly didn't know what she was going to do next.

Kelly: Nora, I'm—

Nora: _What? Sorry?_ Do you _honestly_ think I give a dam? I mean really Kelly—do you expect me to believe that _any _of this was an accident?

Kelly: It was—more or less.

Nora: Really? And HOW does that work? Because last time I checked, you DIDN'T trip and just _happen _to wind up in bed with _my_ husband. And if you think you can blame this on the grief then save it because it's a load of crap and you know it. I mean really? Is _that_ how you handle your grief—jumping in the sack with your dead fiancé's father? What kind of grieving is that? It seems to me that it's just an excuse to do what you _wanted_ to do all along. If _I _did what_ you _just did then people would call me a slu*. But not you—Not poor misunderstood Kelly-- because _you're _supposed to be this paragon of virtue I'm supposed to just _what?_ Give you a free pass because you just lost the supposed love of your life? Well _I'm sorry Kelly _but I have _zero _tolerance for women who use their grief to get laid. If I lost Bo in the same way you lost Drew, I CERTAINLY wouldn't be hopping in the sack with the first warm body I found—ESPECIALLY not if he was married.

Kelly: That's not what it was about?

Nora:_ Really_? Then what WAS it about? I_ know_ why Bo did it and _believe me _I am _so beyond angry with him_ for throwing _me _under a bus in order to get there. He blamed himself because he couldn't save his son from being killed and he thought that if he trashed his life then it would make up for that. But what about you? What was it about for you? Because from where I'm standing it was simply a selfish need to not face what was bothering you? And HOW many times did I ask you if you needed anything? I would have given you anything—I didn't think I had to explain that it DIDN'T entitle you to just help yourself to my husband?

Kelly: Nora Please. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.

Nora: _How is that even possible_? You see generally when you sleep with your friend's husband, you hurt them. _What the hell did you think it would do to me? _Did you even care that you were breaking up a happy home?

Kelly: Of course I cared. You were like a mother to me and you have no idea how much I regret everything I did that hurt you.

Nora:_ I really don't care about your regrets or your good intentions._ Right now all I see is that you don't respect me enough to be honest.

She started to walk back to the table.

Nora: I'm not even supposed to _be_ here Kelly. I'm fighting Cancer. I SHOULD be home trying to get my heart strong enough to be able to take another surgery because I almost died on the operating table during the first one. But why am I here… because I can't even _look_ at my husband without seeing him with YOU… and I can't even walk into my own home without seeing it? Do you have _no respect _for the institution of marriage--- _You_ tarnished_ everything_ that used to be mine? And you took Bo away from me during a time when I _needed_ him. You have no idea how much I HATE you for that. These pictures—_where the hell did you get them?_ And _which _Buchanan man are you drooling over? Because if you want pictures of you and Drew then you can have them but--- (She sliced the picture of Bo out of it with a pair of scissors) _you will NEVER have pictures of my husband._ And _this_—_just when were you planning on telling me that you were pregnant? _

Kelly: Nora, I just found out.

Nora: Really? Then maybe you can answer me a question? Whose baby is it? And you BETTER tell me that you were smart enough to use protection when you _stole _my husband because if you are pregnant with HIS child then all hell is going to break loose and you are BOTH going to regret it. That was MY dream… _I _was supposed to be the one who gave him a child… NOT you. If you have stolen that from me—_After_ I lost our child because of the cancer---

Kelly: What do you want me to say? I'm sorry.

Nora: You know, you KEEP saying that, but the _more_ you say it, the _less _I believe it. And the _more _you tell me that you're NOT interested in Bo the _less_ I believe you. So let me make this REALLY clear for you—_Keep your grubby little paws off my man._ I am trying my darndest to find a way to forgive him and the _last _thing I need is for YOU to guilt him into making a family with YOU and this little bundle of joy. So expect my lawyers to contact you as soon as it is physically possible.

Kelly: For what?

Nora: What do you _think--_A paternity test? You_ still_ haven't told me who your baby father is so I'm going to take Bo _out _of the equation the old fashioned way—and DON'T think I won't know if your lying. I know _all _about lying scheming tramps

She started to walk towards the door as she felt light headed.

Nora: You know Kelly—you should REALLY try not to steal anyone else's husband on the way to the delivery room. Your child needs you to be MORE then just a home wrecker.

She slammed the door in her face and had to grab on the wall for support. She got to her hotel room and couldn't go in. She just sunk to the floor and put her head in her lap and started crying. A little while later she picked up her phone and dialed… When he answered, she cried into the receiver.

Nora: Can you please come home? I need my big brother right now.

(A/N-- Nora's Brother Is _My _Creation. )

TBC


	23. Shattered Part 23

Shattered- Part 23

He didn't need to be told more then she needed him. All he knew was that his baby sister was in tears and he had to find a way to make them stop. He had_ always_ been the one to chase away all the bad and he wasn't about to stop now. When she had called him on the verge of an emotional breakdown, he had talked her down on the phone on his way to the airport. He didn't even bother asking why because it didn't matter—he was in her corner—just like he_ always_ had been.

When he showed up at the address she had given him, he found her sitting against the door with her head between her knees, rocking back and forth, still trying to keep the tears at bay. In all the years he had been in contact with her, he had NEVER seen her this despondent. He kneeled down next to her and she looked up at him, almost like she was pleading for him to make all her pain go away just like he ALWAYS had in their childhood. But _this_ wasn't something that a big brother could chase away like the bully's he had beaten up for her in school… this was something _much_ deeper. He took her hand and helped her up off the ground and then she had thrown herself into his arms. The way she had clutched on to him broke his heart. It was almost like she was holding on so tight because it was the last time she would ever see him. He had never seen his little sister so low and he had to wonder what it was that had propelled her to reach out. As he stroked her hair just like he had when she was little, he caught her tears as they fell on his shirt—and he didn't care—all he cared about was making her feel better. That's what Big brother's were _supposed_ to do… And it killed him that Nora's problems couldn't be kissed away like a skinned knee.

She was scared to go inside so he picked her up and carried her. He saw the smashed photographs and understood all to well the reasons why she was petrified. Laying her down on the couch, he finished cleaning up what she had started and then came to sit across from her. He just sat in silence until she was ready to speak.

Nora (crying): She's… She's pregnant. How am I supposed to deal with that? Isn't the infidelity bad enough?

Steven: Is her child Bo's?

Nora: I have no idea. I don't think SHE does either. And it's not as if I couldn't accept a Child of Bo's because I_ loved_ Drew. I know he thinks I didn't but I did. And I miss him just as much as I would my _own_ child. He was Bo's son and _that_ made him _mine_ because he was a part of him. But this—a living, breathing reminder of his infidelity—How in Gods name am I supposed to get past that? I like to think that I'm a pretty forgiving person but _this_—I think that's asking a little _too _much.

He reached over and took her hand…

Steven: you need to give yourself a break sis. It's not like you're forgiving a forgotten birthday. He cheated on you. And I realize that I'm _extremely_ biased but I happen to think that you're pretty _amazing_. How_ any_ man can step out on the best woman I know is something I REALLY don't understand. Nora, you gave that man _everything_… And if he_ couldn't_ see it then I'm sorry but he's a fool. You need to STOP thinking about what_ he_ needs and think about what YOU need.

Nora: What if they're the same thing?

Steven: Then you need to give yourself some time to get there. I guess the most important question is do you WANT to?

Nora: I know I should just kick him out—I know _most_ women would—but I can't help it—I still love him—even after all the hell he put me through—I still can't help but WANT to be with him. My problem is getting past everything he did to _trash_ that in order to trust him because right now I _wouldn't_ trust him with _anything _of mine—least of all my heart. And I need to know that he's_ really_ sorry and _not _just sorry he got caught because those lines seem to blur together right now. Do you KNOW how many times I have caught them together? He swears that it was_ only_ that _one _time and _nothing_ is going on and you don't _know _how _much_ I _want _to believe that. But sometimes I wonder. Because if _nothing_ is going on then _why the hell does he KEEP getting wrapped up with her?_ Shouldn't he be able to cut ties with her?

Steven: Have you talked about this with him?

Nora: When I can stand to look at him without seeing his betrayal… yeah, but _only_ in _very_ small doses. He _never_ seems to have an answer that makes _any_ sense or one that I can believe. I'm sorry but I am _so_ sick of his excuses. _Do you think I give a damn WHY it happened anymore? _I just want some sort of an apology that doesn't feel like an excuse because there are NO excuses for what he did. We had a future Steve—a good one—and we had a marriage that was based on mutual respect and trust—HE trashed that in ONE night. Do you think I LIKE feeling this way? I can't sleep._ Every_ time I close my eyes I see it in my mind. I'm living in this hotel room because I _can't_ face the house that we shared _together_ because it's also the very same place that he threw _everything_ away. I_ tried_ to go back there but I froze—do you think I'm a coward?

Steven: Now why on earth would you think THAT? Nora, you are the bravest person I know. If you _can't_ face going back there then_ don't_ force yourself to. You _don't _have to do _anything _you don't want to—or that you're not ready for. It CERTAINLY doesn't make you a coward.

Nora: Then why do I feel so lousy? Why do I feel like I _should_ be able to forgive him by now? I want to—and that's what it comes down to. I don't _want_ to give up on my marriage—I just don't know_ how_ to save it when I can't seem to get over this feeling that I have.

Steven: What Feeling?

Nora: I don't know how to put it into words. But when you've been cheated on, it sort of makes you question _everything_ you_ once_ believed without question. How am I supposed to believe him when he says that he loves me? _If he loved me so damn much then why did he cheat on me?_ I keep asking myself what it was that I did _so _wrong. I can't seem to figure out anything that makes any sense.

Steven: That's because there_ isn't_ anything._ You_ did_ nothing_ wrong.

Nora: Then WHY? What kind of man does that? I don't get it. How could he do this to me? How could he do this to US? And how in Gods name are my supposed to forgive him?

Steven: There is _no _rulebook on what you're supposed to do when your soulmate betrays you. You have to do what is best for YOU. Stop worrying about EVERYONE else for a change and figure out what will make YOU happy.

Nora: I have _no_ clue _what_ that is… But I DO know _one_ thing… I HAVE to talk to him. I'm sorry to run out on you like this but I'm afraid if I don't do this now I'll loose my nerve.

Steve: You want me to come with you?

Nora: I appreciate the offer but this is something I have to do on my own.

She picked up her purse and grabbed her jacket and started to head for the door. Something made her turn around and head back towards him for a hug.

Nora: You can't cure my broken heart with that bag of tricks you have.

Steve: Maybe not but I can sure try.

Nora: You want to help me? Stay with me for a while. I could use the shoulder.

Steve: You got it.

She closed the door and headed for her car. She had no idea that she had dropped her pills. He picked them up and read the labels. As a doctor, he knew_ exactly_ what they were for.

Steve: Oh Nora, Why didn't you tell me you had Cancer?

* * *

She stood at the door for what seemed like an eternity. During the whole drive over, she tried to calm her shaky nerves. It wasn't good for her to be getting worked up—she kept hearing Larry's voice in her head. And she swore she wouldn't let him see her cry for the millionth time but she couldn't seem to get the tears to stop falling.

When he opened the door, she just stood there. She could tell by the look on his face that he hadn't expected to see her so soon—and she was afraid of what that meant. She tried to avoid his eyes but she didn't seem to get anywhere so she just walked passed him without being invited in. This time when he looked at her, he could see what she was struggling to conceal—and he knew that whatever she had come here for, it DEFINITLY _wasn't_ reconciliation. The eyes that looked back at him had no feeling behind them—it was almost like she was dead inside. And he wondered how he could ever find a way to put that light back inside them when she was so far gone.

Finally she just stepped closer to him—looked him dead in the eyes—and started hitting him with her fists in a fit of rage. She was screaming at him through her tears but the only thing he knew for certain was that she was furious…. And hell hath no fury like Nora scorned.

Nora: _I hate you... I hate you so much… you bastard. How could you do this to me? How could you be so stupid… you son of a bitch? _

After she had stopped screaming profanities at him, he tried to grab her hands but she pushed him away.

Nora: No don't—_don't_ touch me. I don't want your hands on me after—(She looked at him, the pain in her eyes clearly evident as the tears fell down her face) You know Bo—If you're going to cheat on your wife then the LEAST you could do is keep your pants on long enough to use protection. But I guess that would defeat the purpose wouldn't it?

Bo: What in the world are you talking about?

Nora: Oh you didn't know—you're going to be a father again—or at least you're in the running for it. What's the matter Bo? You should look Happy? I would think you would WANT another child since you no longer have Drew. Isn't that why you were foolish enough to bed someone without protecting yourself?

Bo: Nora-- would you just calm down for a second?

Nora: And _how _do you suggest I _do_ that? I_ just_ found out that you _might_ have gotten another woman pregnant. What is the correct response to that? I think I have a right to be a LITTLE upset? And DON'T tell me how to respond? _I will feel however I damn well please_—_YOU'RE the one who betrayed me_. So tell me Bo? Are you hoping for a girl or a boy?

Bo: I don't_ want_ any more children that_ aren't_ yours

Nora: Then MAYBE you should have kept your pants on. And just so you know _sweetheart_—if that baby she's carrying really IS yours then I think you and I are going to have a SERIOUS problem.

Bo: Don't we already? (Pause) Nora, please don't leave like this.

Nora_: Like what? YOU'RE the one who put us here._ Was it worth it Bo? Was your selfish need to find—_Whatever the hell you were looking for that I couldn't give you_—was it worth THIS? Was it worth trashing US?

Bo: None of this was worth it. I'm sorry. I don't know how many times I can say that before you believe me. You're the _only_ woman I love.

Nora: _Oh you LOVE me now? If you loved me so damn much then WHY did it take you cheating on me to figure it out? _

TBC


	24. Shattered Part 24

**Shattered- Part 24**

She turned away from him so he wouldn't see how bad she was hurting. She wanted to tell him that everything would be ok but she didn't believe that right now. She felt her entire body shake as the tears had now turned into a full fledged fit of hysteria. He wanted to go to her and hold her but he wasn't sure if she would let him. Taking a chance, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her as she struggled to find her bearings. When she turned around, he could see the weakness in her eyes and he wasn't sure if that was because of her illness or because of what he had done to her. As the tears continued to trickle down her face, he took his hands and tried to wipe them away. He looked deeply in her eyes and she didn't have the strength to fight the emotions she felt when he did.

Bo: Please—please don't cry. I can't stand to see you cry.

Nora: Then _why _do you _keep_ making me? What happened to the man who _swore_ he would _never_ let that happen? Now all you seem to _do_ is break my heart? I _can't _do this Bo. I don't have the strength to fight you. Why can't you just leave me alone?

Bo: I think you know the answer to that.

He took her face in his hands and brushed the hair back from her face. The fact that she didn't fight him was a minor miracle in itself. And then he kissed her—gently, passionately, and all consuming.

Bo: I love you Nora. I know you don't believe me but I do. Walking away from you _isn't _an option for me.

It was then that she slapped him.

Nora: That's _not_ your choice to make Bo. _You _walked away from _me _when you decided to break _every_ promise you _ever_ made to me. And making me remember how much I _still _love you _isn't _helping me at all—do you _want_ me to break? Is that what this is? Is that why you kissed me? _damn it Bo—I can't do this_. And as much as I _still _feel for you, I _won't_ be with you right now. It's _not _going to be what's best for _either one_ of us. We _can't_ have a marriage without trust. And we _can't_ sweep all of this under the rug and pretend that it doesn't exist. I'm sick—I _can't_ be your salvation. I _can't _be the person who saves you Bo—you have to do that for yourself. And what's going to happen if she really_ is_ pregnant with your child? Bo, that's going to change _everything_ between us… and you _can't _expect me to be a mother to that child. _Every _time I look at that child I'll see _your_ betrayal. That's not fair to _any_ of us.

Bo: Are you asking me to choose?

Nora: No-- because that would make me a _horrible_ person and I would _never _ask you to abandon your child. But I think if you believe in_ any_ kind of higher power_, now_ would be the time for you to start praying… because_ if _that child turns out to be _yours_ then you and I are _done_. I'm sorry Bo but I'm_ just _not that big of a person. And I'm having a _really_ hard time with this as it is. I'm trying—I'm REALLY trying. But _every _time I close my eyes, I see it—you and her—and_ then_ I feel like I can't breathe. I'm living in hell right now Bo—and I'm _not _talking about the fact that I'm dying. I _can't_ go _anywhere _because everywhere I go, I run into a memory of us and it suffocates me because _then_ I remember that _you_ decided to_ end _our marriage without_ consulting_ me.

Bo: Nora, I _didn't _end our marriage—I NEVER wanted out—

Nora: _Then what the hell would you call it?_ No matter _how _you slice it, _you_ betrayed _me._ And when you did that _you_ made the decision to risk _everything_ we had. _Why_ couldn't you have found another way to trash your life Bo? _Why _did you have to take _me_ with you? Do you have _any _idea how selfish that was? _Why_ did you have to cheat on me to remember how you felt about me in the first place? If you _didn't_ love me anymore then _why_ couldn't you have just told me? It would have hurt a hell of a lot less then what I'm feeling now—I _wouldn't_ be sitting here questioning everything I _thought_ I knew without question.

Bo: I wish I had an answer Nora. All I have is—

Nora: What you have is excuses and I don't want them.

Bo: If you want to question the fact that I'm _not_ the man you thought I was then I wouldn't doubt you. But DON'T question my love for you. That has NEVER changed.

Nora: _That's bull and you know it_. It _wasn't_ that long ago that you couldn't remember _one_ single reason why you loved me. Lies Bo—all of them lies—but how do I know you're not lying now? Am I supposed to just snap my fingers and be ok with the fact that you betrayed me in the worst possible way—that you turned your back on ME and everything we stood for-- Because I _can't_ do that Bo? I _don't_ trust _one single word _out of your lying mouth right now. And I'm REALLY having a hard time getting passed the fact that you could even THINK that your grief _justifies_ ANY of this. I _don't _want _any_ more excuses or rationalizations. And honestly _I don't give a damn WHY it happened. _

Bo: Then what DO you want?

Nora: If _you_ can't figure _that_ out then we're _not_ going to make it. I'll tell you what I DON'T want. I _don't _want you to call me a million times and tell me how sorry you are. It's _not_ going to change how I feel. And sending me flowers_ isn't _going to make up for ANY of this. You CAN'T kiss away my pain or buy my forgiveness with expensive gifts or well placed words I _don't _believe. I _know _that I should be able to forgive you but right now I _just_ can't. I _need _you to stay away from me. I _need_ you to _stop_ reminding me _how_ much you have_ cost_ me because I _don't_ have the strength to fight you. I'm _not _in a place that would be good for us because I _still_ feel this incredible rage—at you—at her—and I feel like a _horrible_ person because I'm mad as hell that SHE might be pregnant with your child and_ not_ me—and _that _makes me_ hate_ an innocent child—because_ I _had to burry _our _child.

Bo: You were pregnant?

Nora: For about five minutes—then I found out that my cancer had spread to—(Crying) I lost our child because I was sick. And then when I needed you to be there you weren't. You couldn't be there because I didn't trust you to be. I still don't.

Bo: What exactly do you want from me? If you don't want my apology there's not much more I can say.

Nora: If this was _just_ about whether I believed you were sorry then _maybe_ we would be further along. But the fact is that sometimes I'm sorry_ just _isn't _enough._ I _don't_ know what I need from you Bo—_but it sure as hell is more then what you're giving me. Figure it out_. And while you're at it,_ maybe_ you could STOP acting like I'm _depriving _you of something that is _owed_ to you. _This isn't about a forgotten birthday Bo_—and you and I _both_ know that if the tables were turned _I _would have been signing divorce papers by now. So DON'T stand there and act like the wounded party…YOU cheated on ME—NOT the other way around. And if I want to be mad at you—guess what? I'll be mad at you. _You're just lucky that I didn't kick your sorry ass to the curb the minute I found out because believe me, you deserved it. _

She was about to walk away when she heard a knock at the door.

Nora: Oh Gee, I WONDER who that is.

Bo: Nora—

Nora: NO, DON'T NORA ME. You Have Company.

She opened the door in anger and saw her standing there.

Nora:_ I thought I told you to stay the hell away from Bo_. Oh you know what? Forget it. He probably _asked_ you here didn't he?

Bo: Nora, would you please just let me explain. This _isn't_ what it looks like.

Nora: What's to explain? You can invite whoever you damn well please. This _isn't_ MY house anymore. Just DON'T expect me to even THINK about forgiving you until you can manage to pull yourself away from your _lover_. I _don't _want _anything _to do with you until _she's_ out of your life for _good_ and I think that's a pretty _reasonable _request considering that you deserve a hell of a lot worse.

She was almost out the door when she turned back and faced him.

Nora: Oh and if I find out that this _affair_ is_ still _going on then forgiveness _isn't_ an option anymore. I will NOT let you make a fool out of me. You can either have a chance at saving our marriage or you can have_ this_ but you CAN'T have them both. _Make up your damn mind Bo—I WON'T be waiting around much longer. _

And with that she slammed the door in his face. Bo was left to wonder how the hell he was going to get himself out of this one.

TBC


	25. Shattered Part 25

**Shattered- Part 25**

As he stared at the shut door, he couldn't help but feel enveloped by this incredible feeling of loss. It was almost like he felt when he learned of his son's death—only _then_, SHE had been there. She had been his compass and his salvation—and_ he _had thrown _everything_ back in her face like she meant _nothing_ at all—_she_ had been _more_ then he_ ever _deserved—and she had been right. It _shouldn't_ have come to this—it _shouldn't _have taken an affair for him to remember _everything _that filled his life with_ so_ much joy—to remember how much_ she_ meant to him. She was the _best_ part of him and the fact that she_ even_ looked_ twice_ at him was something that he _still_ couldn't understand. _She_ was the type of woman who could have_ any_ man she wanted—and _any_ man would be _lucky_ to have her—but _she _had given _him _her heart- and what did he _ever_ do but break it.

Bo: I asked you to come here because I wanted to see if you'd still be willing to leave town.

Kelly: You want me to disappear?

Bo: It's the_ only _thing I can think of to show my wife that I'm sorry. You _haven't_ seen her lately. This_ isn't _something that's going to go away. She's devastated. And to be honest, I _can't_ say I blame her. I promised her a future—a life that included fidelity and commitment—and_ then_ I tore _all_ of that apart by sleeping with YOU… and for _what_… It _didn't_ make me forget that Drew is gone? I _destroyed_ the_ only_ thing in my life that I give a dam about because of some misplaced guilt that _wasn't_ going to bring him back. _She deserved better Kelly—she deserved a hell of a lot more. _

Kelly: And how is me leaving going to change any of that?

Bo: It will give her the peace of knowing that we're over. See that's what this is about? Nora's not sure if we're still carrying on behind her back—she _doesn't _trust me. And she has _every_ reason in the world to doubt _every_ word I tell her—its _actions _that she's _always_ been interested in. I have _no _clue how I'm going to convince her to trust me after_ this_—but I have to try.

Kelly: would you still feel that way if you knew—

Bo: That you're pregnant? Nora already told me. And I have to be honest with you Kelly. I hope to God that child _isn't_ mine. The ONLY thing I care about is Nora. And she made it _pretty clear_ that we_ won't_ make it if our mistake has resulted in a child. And to be _perfectly clear_, I _don't_ want another child if I'm _not_ going to share it with her. I've caused her enough pain to last a lifetime and _all _I want to do is find some way to make up for it. She's my world—and even if I AM that child's father, it _won't_ change how I feel. I'll _never_ stop_ trying_ to win back her love and trust. So you can stay here if you want but it's _not_ going to matter to me. Whatever kind of _relationship_ we had after Drew died is _over._ I sincerely hope you can find someone to help you through the pain but it_ can't_ be_ me _anymore. Thinking that we could somehow make the pain_ stop_ by having sex was the_ worst _mistake we _ever_ made. And it hurt the_ one _person in the world who _never_ deserved it. I _hate_ myself for that.

Kelly: So this is—

Bo: This is goodbye. And _this_ time I mean it. It would be in _everyone's_ best interest if you left town _for good_. I _love _Nora—and I want her back. That means I have to cut ties with _everything_ that reminds her of what I did to hurt her. And to be honest, I_ don't _see how you think we could _ever_ live in the same town after _this_. Don't you feel guilty?

Kelly: Of course I do—I just don't know if I can leave.

Bo: Well that's _your_ choice—but I _expect _you to respect_ my_ wishes and _stay awa_y. Nora's already fighting enough—she _doesn't_ need _this _to worry about too.

Kelly: I'll think about your offer. I'm really sorry that it's come to this.

She was about to walk out the door when he stopped her.

Bo: Can I have the key please?

Kelly: Oh right—

She took the key out of her purse and handed it back to him.

Kelly: I'm sorry if I ruined your life.

Bo: _You_ didn't_. I_ did _that_ _all_ on my own.

After she walked out the door, he wandered around the house and felt the loneliness screaming. He tried to call Nora to apologize but her phone was turned off.

Bo: I'm sorry baby, I know you don't want to see me but I need to know you're alive.

Grabbing his coat, he headed for the car to look for his wife.

* * *

She walked into the park and placed her hands across the small marble stone plaque she had put up in her child's name. She only was pregnant for a little while but she felt like she had to honor the life that was created. She had named her Gracie because she had believed that she could be what saved her father—and she was sure she would have been a girl. She could just picture her all grown up going to the prom. She would be a heartbreaker—just like her father. And now she would never get to see that.

As the tears continued to fall, she just sat there in silence for a few minutes.

Nora: I wish you could know how much I would have loved you. I wanted you from the first moment I found out I was going to have you. And then I found out I was sick and that you're father wasn't the man I thought he was. They told me I would never be able to carry you to term and I fought it. I didn't tell your father because I knew he would fight me on it and I wanted to protect you. I loved you _so_ much. But then I found out he was fooling around behind my back with someone that I loved like a daughter and the stress was _so_ much that I ended up loosing _you._ So what did I do? I went straight to a bar and drank myself into a stupor so I wouldn't have to FEEL anything—not exactly something you should do when you have liver cancer. But I guess in some ways I just didn't care. Your father was my whole life and I lost him. _You_ were the last part of him that I had left. But when they had to have you surgically removed after you died and I asked them to let me see you, I thought I was going to be sick because my heart hurt so much for _you._ I will _never_ get to see you grow up or get married or even have your first birthday. It's _not_ fair that _you're_ not here and that (Crying)—you know Gracie, if you have _any _pull up there can you do me a favor? Can you tell the big guy to cut your mom a little break? Or can you ask your big brother Drew to do it for you? I think I've been through ENOUGH? Please give me a small miracle and let that child she's carrying be ANYONE but Bo's. I _can't _handle that. _I_ was supposed to be the one to be giving birth to his child—and _you _never lived. I'm sorry. I feel like this is all my fault and I'm sorry. I'm _so _sorry. I'm the reason your dead.

She lay her head down on the stone and cried hysterically.

TBC


	26. Shattered Part 26

**Shattered- Part 26**

Steve_: Nora, for Gods sake would you turn your damn phone on. I'm worried about you. Call me._

He put down the phone and walked into the hospital. Larry recognized him right away.

Larry: To what do we owe the privilege of such a prestigious doctor?

Steve: My sister. I know she has cancer.

Larry: She told you?

Steve: Not exactly. Her pills fell out of her purse. What I want to know is how bad it is?

Larry: I wish I had better news for you but the truth is that her condition is critical. She had a liver transplant because she would have died without it but we almost lost her on the operating table. It's spread pretty rapidly and if we don't get her under the knife to remove those tumors then she could die anyways.

Steve: _Then why in the world haven't you operated?_

Larry: Because her heart isn't strong enough. If we go in there now she could die on the operating table.

Steve: When you say her heart—are you talking literally or figuratively?

Larry: I take it you know about her problems in her marriage?

Steve: that's_ one_ thing my sister DOES talk about to me. That's why I'm here—she called me on the verge of a meltdown. I don't know if you know but she just found out that her husband's mistress is pregnant. She _doesn't_ know if he's the father but she was pretty devastated when she found out.

Larry: Oh No—that is the LAST thing she needs right now.

Steve: I know_. That's why I'm worried sick._ If I had _known_ she had cancer, I NEVER would have allowed her to go talk to Bo. Now she's not picking up her phone and I don't know WHAT to think. I know she's strong but how much is she supposed to be able to take? I—I can't loose her. She's the _most_ important person in my life—I love my parents and Susannah but Nora's different—she's the _one_ person in this world who NEVER judged me or told me what to do—she just loved me unconditionally. I'm _not_ sure I _ever _had that with _anyone _else. I will NOT stand by and watch her die.

Larry: I have no intention of letting that happen.

Steve: _Then what the hell are we going to do?_ She's not exactly thinking rationally right now.

Larry: If it comes to it, I will have her admitted. I know I'll have to deal with her temper—and God help anyone who has that misfortune—but believe me, I WON'T let her risk her life. Right now we just have to pray. I need her heart stronger.

Steve: And how is that supposed to happen when it's been broken?

Larry: I never said it would be easy. (Pause) Unless you have a better idea then_ find_ your sister and make sure she stays calm.

Steve: Do you have ANY idea what you're asking? It would be easier to have a root canal then to keep my little sister calm. She has a temper the size of Texas and when she's hurt— well I think they probably invented the term" hell hath no fury" after her. How exactly am I supposed to keep her from freaking out when it's the ONLY thing she can focus on?

Larry: well you _better_ think of _something_. If her blood pressure spikes, she could slip into a coma. (Pause) I'm sorry. I really have to go check on my patients. Call me if anything changes.

After he walked away, he picked up his phone and dialed. Still no answer.

Steve: _Damn it Nora, where the hell are you. You're scaring the crap out of me right now._

* * *

He found her passed out on the gravesite in the park. He had a feeling she had probably cried herself to sleep and lost track of time. He picked her up and wrapped her in his jacket. He knew she wouldn't be happy when she woke up but he also knew it would be better then the alternative. He carried her back into their house and put her to bed. Then he just watched her. A little while later she woke up.

Bo: Hey beautiful.

Nora: What—what am I doing here?

Bo: I found you passed out at the park. I was going to take you to the hospital but since you were breathing I figured _this _would be safer. You _have_ to be careful about the cold Nora—it's_ not_ good for you in your condition.

Nora: What are you—my mother?

She sat up in the bed but felt a wave of nausea and decided against getting up.

Bo: Nora—you're in _no_ condition to be driving right now. And _if_ you go out in that cold again, you _could _do unnecessary harm. _Please_ don't risk your life.

Nora: Fine—But I have to call my brother. He's probably worried sick.

Bo: Already done. (She looked at him in shock) I turned on your phone because I figured that you would probably have people worried about you. He left you a few frantic messages so I called him back. He _wasn't_ happy that you were with _me _considering the circumstances but he thought it would be best for you to stay here and get some sleep and he'd come pick you up in the morning.

Nora: Thank you.

There was a brief moment of silence before he approached the topic.

Bo: Are you going to let me explain to you what happened or do you _really_ just want me to leave you alone?

Nora: I don't know _what_ I want anymore.

Bo: Baby, I'm sorry. I_ know_ that you're tired of hearing that but I _don't _know what else to say. The ONLY thing I know is that I'm crazy about you. You really ARE the _only_ woman I love and I wish I could find a way to make you believe that.

Nora: _I_ wish you could turn back the clock and make all of this _not_ real—(Crying) Bo, the ONLY thing_ I_ know is that my heart is broken. I love you but I'm _not_ sure if that's enough anymore. How are we going to fix this when I'm not sure if I can fix myself?

Bo: So what are you saying? Are you leaving me?

TBC


	27. Shattered Part 27

**Shattered- Part 27**

Nora: Am I leaving you? Well it would CERTAINLY be what you deserved.

Bo: I _won't _argue with you there but that _still_ doesn't answer my question. Where _exactly_ do we stand Red?

She got up off the bed and started to walk towards the window. She just stood there crossing her arms for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually Bo came up and wrapped his arms around her and she leaned into him as he held her.

Bo: Nora, it's a simple question.

Nora: NOTHING about US has EVER been simple.

She pulled out of his embrace and went to stand by the mantle.

Nora: I was afraid to come back here you know? There were _too_ many memories and--- Bo this was the last place we were happy—it was also the place we fell apart.

Bo: What are you so afraid of?

Nora: I'm afraid of being hurt again. I _trusted_ you—I gave _everything _I _had_ when I did that—when you _betrayed_ that trust you _killed_ something in me. I'm _not _sure we can_ ever_ get that unwavering faith back.

Bo: Do you want to?

Nora: There is _nothing_ I want more. Believe it or not, I DON'T like feeling this way. _You_ were a part of me and when I walked out that door, I felt like someone was tearing off one of my arms. But I HAD to do it Bo—because when _you_ _cheated_ on me, it was the _same thing _as sticking a knife in my heart. I _don't _have anything _left_ to give you. You took my heart _with_ you when you _broke_ what was left of me.

Bo: What do you want me to say Red? I've already used up my quota of apologies. And I KNOW that no matter _what_ I say it can NEVER make up for the pain that I caused _you. _

Nora: You're right—it _can't._ There are NO excuses for what you did and you _can't_ justify it away with grief. I was your _wife_ Bo—and I _loved _you. I would have done _anything_ to help you—sacrificed _everything_—but YOU sacrificed _us _instead. Why was I so easy to forget Bo? Did it even cross your mind that you'd be throwing us away?

Bo: Nora, you were NEVER easy to forget? And I thought about you _all _the time. I thought you would be better off without me.

Nora: That _wasn't_ your choice to make. We were _supposed_ to be in this together Bo. What the hell is the point of being together if we _can't _help each other through the bad? You CERTAINLY _weren't_ thinking about_ me_ when you went to bed with _her_. And DON'T tell me you were drunk because it's just an excuse. I _know_ because I've_ been_ there. I _understand _the guilt you must be living with because_ I_ carried it around for _years_ after I cheated on Hank. But that DOESN'T mean you get a free pass Bo. You NEED to own up to your mistakes and _mean _them-- and so far I _haven't_ heard ANYTHING that sounds like _anything_ more then an excuse. You say that you're sorry but do you even _know_ what for?

(She put up her hands to stop him from speaking)

Nora: I'm _not_ finished yet. (Pause) Do you know that I TRIED to even the score? I thought that if I could just get myself to cheat on _you _then maybe we'd be even. I guess it _doesn't _work that way because _I couldn't _do it. And now I'm glad I _didn't_ because even though _you_ would have deserved it, it would have made_ me_ feel _worse_ and I _don't _think two wrongs make a right. And judging by the look on your face I'd say you now know just _a little _of what you put ME through.

Bo: Is that what this is about? Do you want to hurt me?

Nora: DON'T play the victim card Bo. I NEVER cheated on you. _I never even_ got to the kissing stage. I walked into a bar and was determined to pick up the first guy who walked in but I chickened out. _All_ I could think about was_ you_ and how you were STILL my husband and _I_ WASN'T going to sink to YOUR level. So DON'T stand there throwing accusations at me. I was hurt—I lashed out—But I NEVER went through with it. YOU can't say the same thing.

Bo: So where do we go from here?

Nora: Do you know that I can't even _remember_ the last time we made love? And I'm _not_ talking about those few times _after _I kicked you out because_ that_ was purely sex and there's a difference.

Bo: I know—you kept telling me you hated me.

Nora: Because I did. It _didn't _mean I _didn't_ still _lust _after you. BUT with that being said, it's been MONTHS since we were together. I mean _obviously _we _were_ before Drew died because I was pregnant for a little while but—But I don't even _remember _what it feels like anymore—I don't _remember _what YOU feel like.

Bo: Do you want to… because that can _certainly_ be arranged?

She didn't say anything more as her eyes told the whole story. He captured her mouth in his as he backed her up against the wall. Her legs wrapped around his waist and the kissing intensified as he lifted her up into his arms. He was tearing her shirt off when she suddenly pulled away.

Nora: _This_ is what I'm talking about Bo? There is NO denying that we work _well_ in the bedroom? But sex is ultimately what broke us up— sex with someone else---and I'm _not_ ready to revisit that part of _us_ just yet when I _still_ feel like _you've _been tainted. I _don't _want to have sex with you Bo—if we're_ going_ to make it, I _want_ to make love to you. And right now, _it sure as hell wouldn't be anywhere near that. _

Bo: Then what DO you want?

Nora: If you're asking me if I'm divorcing you then the answer would be no—at least not right now. I'm _too_ sick to be making _any_ life altering decisions and even though I'm _not _entirely sure you deserve it, I'm_ going _to give you the chance to _prove_ to me that you _do._ But right now—right now I'm _not _in the mood to deal with you. I'm sorry but I'm exhausted. And I _can't_ really give you_ any_ promises until we _know_ if _you're_ going to be a father. And it's WAY too soon to take a paternity test safely.

Bo: So what are we going to do?

Nora: We're going to _deal_ with _reality. _And right now _reality_ is telling _me_ _I _need to take care of my health and YOU need to find out if Kelly is carrying _your_ child.

Bo: But I thought you just said—

Nora: We _can't_ take a _paternity test_—but there are_ other_ ways of finding out aren't there? I _want_ a due date Bo. At least then I'll have _some_ sort of idea if _my life _is going to _implode_. More then it already_ has_ that is. Until you man up and get the truth from her, we have _nothing_ to talk about.

She walked into the bathroom and shut the door. He sat down on the bed and put his head in his hands. _How the hell did he get himself in such an awful mess? _And more importantly, what was he going to _do_ about it?

TBC


	28. Shattered Part 28

**Shattered- Part 28**

He could hear her crying in the bathroom and he _knew_ that she had stayed up half the night trying to_ will _the tears away until she had _finally_ given in to sleep. He _wanted_ to hold her and make everything better—but he KNEW that she _wouldn't_ allow that since he had CAUSED most of her tears. He _didn't_ have a clue how he was going to make things better but he_ knew_ he had to _start _with the_ one_ thing she had a_sked_ him for. Nora _never _asked for _anything _and when she did, it was important. He was about to pick up the phone when the doorbell rang.

Steven: Where's my sister?

Bo: She's in the bathroom.

Steven: Good. Then That Means I Can Do This---

He _Knew_ What Was Coming Before It Got There. Steven Just Hauled Off and Punched Him and he_ let_ him because he was defending his sister-- and also because he _couldn't _deny the fact that he _deserved_ it.

Steven: THAT Was For Cheating On A Good Woman. And—

He Gave Him One More Slug.

Steven: THAT was for breaking her heart.

Bo: Would you like to come in?

Steven: I'd love to.

They barely spoke a word as he walked in and took a seat at the couch.

Steven: You know Bo, despite what you might think, I _don't _hate you. I _just_ hate what you did to my sister. She loved you _so_ much. She _didn't_ deserve what you did to her.

Bo: I'm not going to argue with you there.

Steven: I'm also_ not _going to tell her what to do. I think you have _a lot _of groveling and begging to do before she should even CONSIDER taking you back. It's _not _about the physical act of cheating that REALLY bothers her—it's that you broke her trust. And the thing about my sister is that when you've done that, it takes an awful lot to get it back.

Bo: Don't I know it.

Steven: Ok then let me just say this once and I promise I'll never say it again. I _don't_ think you should be around her right now. I'm _not_ saying this because I think you don't deserve her—although there's a very _big_ part of me who thinks that. I'm saying this simply as a brother who's _worried _that his sister is going to die. If her blood pressure spikes, she _could_ go into a coma. And since you two _can't_ seem to do _anything _but fight these days I _just_ don't think it's healthy. I'm simply asking you to _wait_ until she's strong enough to handle it.

Bo: I would NEVER do _anything _to risk her health—at least not intentionally.

Steven: Does that mean—

Bo: I would NEVER turn her away if she needed me. But I _won't_ go out of my way to track her down either. She's made it _perfectly _clear that she _doesn't_ want to see me.

Nora (Stepping out of the bathroom): Actually what I _said _is we have _nothing_ to talk about. There's a difference.

Bo: Nora, let's be honest. You have made _your_ Feelings _perfectly_ clear. _I _just couldn't respect them.

Nora: What are you saying?

Bo: I'm saying I'm giving you what you want. I'm giving you your space. I _don't_ want to make things _any _worse for you then I _already_ have. You're fighting cancer… That HAS to be your _first_ priority… I _need_ you alive Nora… we _all_ do.

He walked over to where she was standing and took her hands in his.

Bo: I love you Red. I will ALWAYS love you. I'll regret the pain I caused you for the rest of my life and I _know_ that it could take me the rest of mine to even_ begin_ to make it up to you. But I _know_ that if I _even_ have a_ prayer_ of winning back your trust and your love—

Nora: Bo, it's _not_ my love that's in question.

Bo: I know… It's mine. You _don't _trust that I love you or that I'm sorry or basically _anything_ I tell you… and I can't even say that I blame you. I'M the one who broke that connection and it's up to _me _to find a way to bring it back… and I will—but NOT when your life is on the line. I would NEVER forgive myself if something happened to you because I was pushing you _too _hard. (He brought his lips to her forehead and gave her a gentle kiss) I want you to know that I will ALWAYS be here for you if you need me… you can call or come by _any_ time—day or night—and I WON'T turn you away. _All_ I'm saying is that I _won't_ go out of my way to get you to forgive me—we'll put that on hold.

Nora: So what you're saying is—

Bo: I'm saying I love you enough to give you time. _You're_ not the one who screwed up—_I_ am. I would like to be there for you but it seems like you already have your own cheering squad and you _don't_ need me anymore.

Nora: Bo, I ALWAYS need you. That's why it hurts _so_ much.

Bo: I know. But I'll still BE here when you come through to the other end. I just have one request.

Nora: What?

Bo: That you _try_ to remember_ how _much you have to live for. This _isn't_ me giving you permission to check out—this is me telling you I love you enough to fight for _your_ life because _you're_ not strong enough to do it yourself. Please Nora—I'd _never _survive if you did't make it.

Steven: Neither would I.

Nora: What is this? You two ganging up on me now?

Bo: The ONE thing we have in common is _you_.

Steven: He's right you know? We love you Nora—we'd do _anything _to make sure you _live _through this.

She walked back over to Bo and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Nora: As _bad _as I am_ hurting _right now, I _want_ you to _know _that you _still_ gave me the _best_ years of my life and I _wouldn't_ take them back for _anything._ I'm not saying this because I'm giving up-- it's just something I want you to know. I _do_ love you Bo—that will NEVER change. It's _everything else _that's in question.

Bo: I know.

Nora: And just so you know, you took a step in the _right_ direction. You _still_ have _a long _way to go before I even _consider _forgiving you but it's a start. You made things _a lot_ easier for me and I appreciate it. You're right—I _don't_ have the strength to fight you.

And with that she picked up her purse and walked out the door with her brother. _That_ was the _hardest_ thing he EVER had to do. Watching Nora walk out that door was like loosing a piece of his heart. But at least _she _wasn't risking _hers_ anymore. That was a small comfort—

He went to the refrigerator and pulled out a can of beer. He was about to take a sip when he remembered what he had been about to do before Steven showed up. Putting the can back in the refrigerator, he decided to deal with this face to face instead. He wanted something _good _to tell Nora when she was well enough to handle it—and he wanted to do it now. He only hoped that fate was on his side because he knew dam well that the news could just as easily be _bad _news.

Bo: If I have _any_ right to ask for _anything_ anymore, PLEASE make that child NOT be mine. I _know_ I screwed up royally and I understand if I have to pay for my sins—but could you find another way of doing it—I've _already_ lost my son—I CAN'T loose the woman I love too. And I _know_ that it would be EXACTLY what I deserve but—Ok, the truth is that I _can't_ do it without her. I don't know why it was _so_ hard for me to remember before but now it's the ONLY thing I can think of. And I _can't_ be a father to this child because it would mean the end of my marriage. Please God—I'll do _anything_ you want—just _please_ don't make me pay for my mistakes in that way. _I_ deserve to be punished but Nora and this child _don't._ _Don't_ make them suffer for MY stupid mistakes. And could you _please_ look after her. She _doesn't_ deserve to die. She's a good person who has been hurt _so _much for _so_ long. If you _need _to take someone then_ I_ will _gladly_ stand in the line of fire. Just_ please _let her live.

And with that he walked out the door to go confront the worst mistake of his life.

TBC


	29. Shattered Part 29

**Shattered- Part 29**

She was lying on the couch, trying in vain to avoid what she couldn't avoid. He didn't want to push her but he also didn't want her to retreat so far into herself that she risked her health any more then she already had. Her eyes scared him when he looked at her—they were almost blank—she had an empty, glassy stare as she was staring out into space, not really looking at anything in particular. He was afraid she had been broken.

Steven: You want to talk about it?

Nora: About what? The fact that my husband cheated on me… that he actually managed to be stupid enough to get her pregnant—that _I _had to burry_ our_ child—or that I have cancer and could very well be dying?

Steven: All of the above.

Nora: I don't even know where to start.

Steven: Why don't you start with telling me why you have that look in your eyes?

Nora: What look?

Steven: The look that tells me that the strongest person I know has been broken.

Nora: As much as I don't like admitting it, you happen to be right. I'm not the same person I was the last time I saw you.

Steven: What hurts you the most Nora? Maybe I can help.

Nora: I don't really think_ anyone_ can help. It's not the cancer. I could have handled that. It's the betrayal. He hurt me on such a deep and personal level that I honestly feel like someone has taken a knife to my heart. You can't possibly understand what I mean when I say that there's a hole where my heart used to be unless you've been betrayed – it's not the physical act that hurts—it's the lies, it's the mistrust, it's the fact that he _shared_ things with _her_ that he _wouldn't_ share with _me_. You know—after his son died, I _wanted_ to be there for him—I gave him _everything_ he_ said_ he needed and I _forgave_ the _horrible_ things he said to me because I_ thought_ he was just lashing out because of the grief—I could have forgiven that—I_ have_ forgiven that—I've forgiven _a lot _more then _that_—But this—I don't know how to forgive such blatant cruelty—I don't know how to forget that he didn't trust me enough—that this so called grand love wasn't enough for him—that _I _wasn't enough for him—and now—My God if that child turns out to be his—How do I do this? How do I live with such pain every day for the rest of my life?

Steven: Who says you have to?

Nora: I do. It doesn't matter if we're together or not,_ every_ time I look at that child I'll see it. I'll see the betrayal, the lies, the mistrust, the affair--- if this had happened during some other time in my life—in our life-- I _might_ have understood-- but now I'm just lost. What did I _ever_ do to deserve this?

Steven: Nora, you _really _need to stop this. I know how much you love him—

Nora: I do. And that's what makes this a thousand times worse—I _can't_ hate him. I wish I could. I've tried _everything_ I can think of but I _can't _hate him. I can't hate him because I still love him.

Steven: That may be but this _isn't _your fault. Do you know what it does to me seeing you beat yourself up like this? I may not have been around a lot lately but I know what it is when you love someone. You're fiercely loyal and you're not about to back down when you believe in someone. Nora you have the biggest heart of anyone I've ever known and it kills me to see it broken this way. I wish I knew what to say to make those tears go away.

Nora: I know you love me Steve but you _can't_ fix me this time. _Nobody_ has a cure for a broken heart and right now _that_ hurts more then the cancer. I ache. _Every_ bone in my body hurts and it's_ not_ because I'm sick-- it's because more then _anything_ I_ need _Bo—I need to wake up in the morning and find out that this isn't happening. I'm not going to get that.

Steven: Nora—

Nora: No it's ok. I'm _not_ going to break. I love him. And that means I have to find a way to forgive him. I'm just nowhere near that right now.

Steven: So where are you?

Nora: I'm in the mad as hell and wanting to break everything in plain sight mode. But I know that I can't do that because I'm sick and it doesn't help—so I cry.

Steven: You can cry on _me_ anytime you want.

Nora: How about you just make me a Chocolate milk shake like you used to? It might not cure what ails me but it might make me feel a little better. Chocolate _always_ does.

Steven: You got it.

He kissed the top of her head and went into the kitchen. She put her head in the pillow and cried.

Nora: I wish I didn't know what it felt like to love you… now it's impossible to walk away… and staying just about kills me. What the hell am I supposed to do? I can't live _with_ you and I can't live _without _you.

* * *

He stood at the door for what seemed like an eternity. He didn't want to be here—he didn't want to deal with this—in all actuality, he would have rather been _anywhere_ but here… but Nora had asked him for this—and he wasn't about to deny her_ one _more thing. She wanted the truth—he needed to face the truth—and then maybe they could find a way to put the past behind them and reconnect. He only hoped it wasn't too late.

Kelly: What are you doing here?

Bo: You think I WANT to be here? Believe me Kelly, I would rather walk on hot coals then be anywhere _near _you again. But I don't have a choice. Nora sent me.

Kelly: Why would she do that? She hates me.

Bo: Yeah, well, _I'm_ not exactly her favorite person right now either. (Pause) Do I have to stand here all night or are you going to let me in?

He walked into the room and she shut the door.

Bo: Look, my wife may hate you—she may hate me—

Kelly: She doesn't hate you Bo. She might THINK she does but she loves you. She could _never_ hate you.

Bo: That's what I'm praying for. I've never been much of a religious man Kelly… but now— the ONLY thing I can think to do is pray… pray that she'll remember how good we were and come back to me—pray that this child ISN'T mine—pray that she lives through the cancer. And that's why I'm here. Nora doesn't ask for a lot of things. She_ never _complains. But she _asked_ me for _this_—she asked me to find out if her world is going to shatter even more then it already is. And even though I'm dreading the truth, I HAVE to know. I will NOT deny my wife_ one _more thing.

Kelly: And what are you going to do if you find out it's not what you want it to be?

Bo: I don't know—beg. At this point, I don't have a lot of options. The simple fact is that I don't really deserve her forgiveness and I can't really blame her for kicking me out of her life. If the tables were turned, I probably would have done the same thing. But I'm a very selfish man when it comes to her—I can't let her give up on us because I know dam well that she's the best thing that ever happened to me. As usual I'm making this all about me and that's not fair.

Kelly: You love her.

Bo: Yes—I love her—more then _anyone_ or _anything_—but she's sick—too sick to fight me – and I'm not going to be too selfish to walk away—I WON'T take advantage of her that way. I'm going to give her what she needs—and have faith that when she's strong enough she'll come back to me all on her own. If she doesn't—well then I have to take responsibility for destroying the best love I've ever known. This is on MY head Kelly—_I_ did this to her—to us—and there is NOTHING I won't do to save our marriage. But I _can't_ turn back the clock. I wish to God I could but I can't. That means I _need _to know whose child you're carrying. I know it's too soon for a paternity test but you and I both know we can find out a due date.

Kelly: I have an appointment tomorrow.

Bo: Good. Then I'll come with you.

Kelly: You don't trust me?

Bo: Kelly, I found out from my wife—_not_ you—and I don't know where you stand on this. Nora thinks you're hoping we have some sort of future because it will keep Drew's memory alive. And if that's the case then I better tell you that whether this child is mine or not—whether Nora forgives me or not—we will _never_ have a future. I'll _never_ stop trying to make things up to the woman I love—and that will _always_ be Nora. It's about time I figured that out isn't it?

Kelly: You made a mistake.

Bo: Yes—and it dam near wrecked what was left of my life. I thought I wanted that—I thought I wanted to self-destruct but I was wrong. All I _really _want is _her._ Drew wouldn't want me to throw away my life because he's dead—he wouldn't want _you_ too either. I'm sorry that you don't have someone to share your life with but _my_ life is with Nora. I might not deserve her but I _do_ love her. And I'm_ not_ going to make another mistake by letting you to lie to me again. So I'm going to that appointment with you and we're going to find out the truth. And if you even _think_ of skipping out on me before the appointment then I swear to God---

Kelly: I won't.

Bo: You're right… because you have a guard posted outside your door. If you want to go anywhere, he'll know.

Kelly: I don't believe this. You _really_ think I would try to skip town?

Bo: I don't know _what_ you would do anymore. I _only_ know what Nora believes. And right now I think _she's_ got a clearer head then _any_ of us. So No Kelly—I _don't_ trust you. I don't trust _anything_ you say anymore. And I hope to God that _your_ child_ isn't_ mine or we could _all_ be in some _serious_ trouble. The_ only_ child I want is Nora's. And after she gets well—after she finds a way to forgive me—then I hope to God we still have a chance for that.

Kelly: I hope you get what makes you happy

Bo: Then hope that Nora forgives me because right now that's the _only _thing that gets me through _any_ of this—hope—hope that one day she'll forgive me.

And with that he slammed the door in her face. He drove around for what seemed like an eternity. He walked over to the window of their house and looked in on her. He promised that he'd stay away so he just left a single rose on the doorstep with a note. He rang the doorbell and left. Nora answered it and saw the white rose. She smiled at the memory. He remembered that today was their anniversary and he gave her a white rose like she wore in her hair on that day. She smiled when she read the note.

_Happy Anniversary sweetheart,_

_I still remember that day like it was yesterday. You were the most beautiful bride I had ever seen. You still take my breath away. I know that I promised to stay away but I just wanted you to know that I love you. I made a lot of mistakes in my life but YOU weren't one of them. Marrying you was the smartest thing I ever did. Loving you was the easiest. I hope that some day you'll be able to forgive me but until then I just want you to know that I was never happier then I was when you married me. You've given me the best years of my life. Thank you for loving me back Red. Lord knows I don't deserve it._

_Bo_

A single tear fell down her cheek when she walked back inside and put the rose in a vase. She looked up at the sky and saw a shooting star. It was still light out but she wouldn't have missed it.

Nora: Happy anniversary Bo. Where ever you are I hope you know that I still love you more then I ever did. I'm still hurt—I'm still angry—But I can't make myself hate you. And I guess that's a start.

TBC


	30. Shattered Part 30

**Shattered- Part 30**

She was looking through a photo album she had tucked away with some of the things he had given her through the years. When they started having problems a few months ago she had almost burned them but decided to put them somewhere she wouldn't have to look at every day in case she changed her mind—today was one of those days she was glad that she had listened to her head and not her heart.

Looking at the pictures from their story brought back so many wonderful memories—and so many not so wonderful memories. There wasn't a single moment she could put her finger on where she suddenly realized she loved him—it was more of a gradual thing—kind of like when you've known someone for years and you never notice what color their eyes are until one day you find yourself staring into them like you could see through to their soul. And that's how it always was with them.

She didn't need pictures to remember all the stages they went through. When she first met him—when she spilled into his life—she thought he was probably the most arrogant, egotistical jerk that she had ever met. And she couldn't imagine how anyone would willingly spend 5 minutes with him—let alone a lifetime. But then his wife died and she began to see a different side to him—the vulnerable side. She would guess that their story _really _started the moment she had saved him from suicide. And when the clouds broke away and the crisis had passed, she suddenly couldn't imagine spending_ one_ minute without him, let alone a life time.

She wasn't exactly sure when she had given her heart away but it had never been hers to give away until he showed her what it was to love without condition. Loving Bo had been the first time she had ever experienced this depth of love with another person besides her daughter. And it was the first time in her life where she felt like she was being defined as more then just a mother—she had found the woman… and _this_ woman loved with all she had.

Wiping the tears that had formed in her eyes and were now trickling down her cheeks she managed to focus on one particular page. It was their first date… the day they shared their first real kiss. It was taken at Serenity Springs, which now didn't even exist anymore other then in walls and doors and an empty building. But every time she drove down that road she was filled with an incredible sense of happiness. That had been the place where magic had happened—where so many of her dreams had come true…. Falling in love with Bo—finding a sense of belonging that she never had before—and really just finding the _woman _that had long been buried under her roles as mother or lawyer or ex wife or friend… even when she had been with Hank she had never been seen as Nora Hanen the woman, it was _always_ as his wife or Rachel's mother—this was the first time she was seen as her own person—and she missed it. When he kissed her, she felt like she was alive for the first time in her life.

**Flashback**

_Nora: are you serious? You can see us together that far down the line?_

Bo: Yeah, I can see it. Can't you?

Nora: Yeah I can—that's why it's so scary.

Bo: Who, Me?

Nora: No. No, I'm scared of us. What is it Bo? What is this—thing that draws us together—what is this?

Bo: What does it matter?

Nora: It matters. It matters a lot. This thing that we have—it just feels so right—but if it's not—if we've fallen for all the wrong reasons—we could end up hurting each other—a lot more then either one of us could handle right now. Look it's a shooting star?

Bo: Did you make a wish?

Nora: Yep.

Bo: Tell me.

Nora: Ok. I wish your tofu on rye would turn into a chili dog and fries.

Bo: No come on. Tell me, tell me.

Nora (Sighs): This is a serious wish. I wish that no matter what happens between us, we never hurt each other.

Bo: I don't see that happening. What are you afraid of?

Nora: When I first me you, you were in a very dark place in your life, you know. Your wife had just died in a very tragic way and you didn't have much of a will to live.

Bo: But I'm way beyond that now—and you helped.

Nora: I know. I kinda get the feeling you think you owe me one.

Bo: If I felt that way I'd send you a big bunch of flowers and a card, and then that'd be it. I wouldn't be thinking about you the first thing when I wake up in the morning and I do. Nora Gannon, now there's a reason for you to get out of bed you old son of a gun. You're gonna see Nora Gannon today—and it really does make me feel good. I don't know why—maybe it is because you make me feel so good and I hope that it is the same for you. You know this kind of thing doesn't happen every day—this kind of connection. And I don't want to wreck it by moving too fast. I think we really got a shot at something here. (Kiss)

**End of Flashback**

Nora: So much for never hurting each other huh? (Pause) What is it with us and shooting stars?

She picked up the photo album and went to the closet to put on her jacket. A few minutes later she was pulling into the parking lot. It almost looked like a ghost town since nobody had been there in years but she would have known her away around in the dark even if there hadn't been a small candle burning. She knew right away who it was.

Nora: I guess I shouldn't be surprised but I'm going to ask you anyways. What are you doing here?

Bo: Waiting for you.

When she gave him the classic Nora look, he realized he needed to clarify or risk getting hit again.

Bo: I was thinking about the first time we _really _kissed.

Nora: So was I. (She pulled out the photo album she had under her jacket) I was looking through this photo album and I was remembering every little detail—good and bad. Why couldn't we keep that promise Bo? Why couldn't we keep from hurting each other?

Bo: Because I was an idiot.

Nora: Yeah you were.

Bo: Well you didn't have to agree with me so fast.

Nora: Why wouldn't I when it's true?

She paused when she walked over to where the hot tub was still sitting and sat on the edge.

Bo: I was hoping that you would show up. I know I said that I'd give you your space but I really wanted to see you tonight.

Nora: I got your rose. It kind of matches this wreath that you bought me when I was in the hospital and I begged you to marry me again.

She took it out of the photo album that she had placed it in on her way out and put it on her head, just as she had the night he held her in his arms as she was dying and they pledged their love to each other for a second time right before they got a miracle. Bo got up and kneeled in front of her, taking her hands in his.

Bo: Sick or not, you _still_ make the most beautiful bride I've ever seen. And to this day, you _still_ take my breath away.

Nora: Bo—

Bo: I know. We still have a hell of a lot to work through.

Nora: We do. You have _no_ idea how much you hurt me. What kind of damage you did to my self esteem—what kind of agony I live in _every_ day.

Bo: Then maybe we need to talk about it?

Nora: Maybe we do—maybe _some_ day I'll trust you enough to make myself that vulnerable again… but not tonight. Tonight I want to remember _everything_ that's _good_. Will you take a walk with me?

Bo: I think that's the best offer I've had in a _long _time.

TBC


	31. Shattered Part 31

Shattered- Part 31

They walked together in silence for what seemed like an eternity. She had allowed him to hold her hand as they walked and he wondered if that was a sign. When they reached the bridge, she sat down on the rocks and he joined her on the grass. He wasn't sure if he should say something to break the ice or leave it up to her—he decided on the latter. She smiled when she put the photo album down and looked at him.

Nora: I wish life could be as simple as this. I wish all it took for me to forgive you was remembering how it felt to love you.

Bo: Do you? Nora, I don't even know how to read you anymore. I wish I knew what you were feeling. Even when you screamed at me, it was better then this silence. When you get that quiet, it scares me because it's usually a sign of something really bad.

Nora: Not this time. This time I'm just trying to reflect on all the good times. It's our anniversary Bo—I don't want to remember how we came apart—I'd rather remember how we loved.

Bo: We had some good times didn't we?

Nora: We had some GREAT times. And to answer your question—Yes Bo—Yes I still love you. I'm just trying to figure out if it's enough. How do you have love without commitment and trust?

Bo: I don't have a clue how to convince you to trust me but I do know that I love you. You have no reason in the world to believe that because I've torn all of your feelings apart when I cheated on you. But I—Nora if I could go back in time and stop myself from doing it I would. The last thing in the world that I wanted to do was hurt you. I know that's sort of a cop out but it's true. I love you more then life and it kills me to think that I was so much of an ass that I didn't think about _you_ when I made the decision to wreck my life. All I can do now is throw myself at you mercy and hope that you're a better person then me.

Nora: If this was just about you and me then maybe I could take the chance. But what happens if you're the father of that baby? Do you_ really_ expect me to be able to live with that?

Bo: I know that I'm asking a lot Nora. And I also know that I don't even deserve it.

Nora: You're right Bo—you don't.

Bo: Ok but I need to tell you that I did what you asked. You wanted to know about that baby right? I'm taking her to the hospital tomorrow and we should have a due date?

Nora: Well at least then I'll have more of an idea of whether or not this marriage stands a chance. (Pause) You asked me how I felt Bo? Do you still want to know?

Bo: Nora, I want to share everything with you. If you want to tell me then I'll listen.

Nora: I'm jealous. I'm so jealous that I can't even see straight. You tell me that you only slept with her once but the thing is that for me it doesn't matter if it's once or ten times—it's all I see. And then I get so mad that I want to break something—I want to hurt her for trashing all my dreams—for taking you away from me.

Bo: I'm still here.

Nora: No you're not… she tainted you. I can't look at you without seeing your betrayal. I'm trying to get passed that Bo—Really I am. But you asked me how I felt and the truth is that I feel—I feel like you're not mine anymore.

Bo: What if I told you that I know of a way to change that?

Nora: Are you a magician now?

Bo: No. But I do know that one way of making bad memories go away is creating new ones.

Nora: It's not going to make the bad stuff disappear either.

Bo: I know. But can we try to fix this? Or are you saying that you don't want to?

Nora: If there was any way that I could get passed this don't you think I would have tried it already?

Bo: I don't know. But I think the only thing that matters is if you love me. You just said you did so—

Nora: I do love you. I wish I didn't but I do.

Bo: Then can't we at least try to fix our marriage? Don't you remember how good we were?

Nora: That's not the problem Bo. I KNOW how good we were. I know how good we still can be.

Bo: Ok… so?

Nora: I'm just not there yet. Please don't push me Bo. The fact that I'm even considering this is more then you deserve. I can't forgive you until I can trust you. Right now I'm not sure I trust you with anything—I CERTAINLY don't trust you with my heart when you just stomped all over it.

Bo: Then how are we supposed to get there? Nora, how are you going to trust me if you keep yourself closed off like this?

Nora: I don't know. Maybe you need to find a way to break me down.

She got up off the rocks and was about to pick up her book when he stopped her.

Bo: Nora, please don't go running off like this. I need you. It's our anniversary—can't you stay with me? We don't have to make any life altering decisions—it doesn't even have to mean anything—but please don't go. Come home with me. For _one_ night, can we just forget that we don't have a marriage and remember what it was like when we did?

He ran his hands through her hair as he looked deeply in her eyes as it started to rain. She laughed slightly when they started to get drenched and didn't seem to care. And when he pulled her into a kiss, she didn't resist. She wasn't even sure she knew how to anymore. And the bigger question was whether she even wanted to.

TBC


	32. Shattered Part 32

**Shattered- Part 32**

Her mind wasn't hers anymore_. Every_ rational thought she had had shut down when he kissed her. She _knew_ she _should_ have turned him down when he suggested it but just as it had _always_ been she felt like an addict who was addicted to the rush of that next fix. No matter _how_ many times she tried to rationalize it away the simple fact was that _he_ was her drug. All he had to do was ask and she would follow. And just like _any_ addict knows, once you've had a taste you would do _anything _to have it.

It wasn't _always_ a bad thing—they _could _be incredible together. The trouble was that when that drug wore off, it was hell. Sometimes she didn't know what side of the spectrum they were living. They could be the perfect blend of a happy couple who was blissfully in love—or they could be that raging anger that erupted in huge fights and unintended collateral damage. She didn't much like the latter.

When people asked her how she could stay with a man that cheated on her both emotionally and physically and cut her down with words of disdain—the only answer she had was that when they loved, there was nothing like it. The truth as she knew it was that when Bo Buchanan loved a woman, she was the luckiest woman alive because she was_ everything _to him. And she _did_ remember when she_ was_. When he looked at her, she melted… when he touched her, she craved more—when he spoke words of love, she felt them right to her soul. There was _no_ denying that she had been loved in a way she had _never_ experienced before—there was _no_ denying that she had loved him back. If love could cure a broken heart then they'd be home free. It was _everything else_ that was haunting her. The ache in her soul—the lack of trust—the feeling of complete and utter betrayal—the feeling that she had somehow done something to deserve it and not knowing what that was---the unfairness of not being able to give birth to their child. And there was that feeling of "did I do something wrong" again? She wondered if she was being punished for her mistakes-- Did she lose her child because she didn't do something right? Because she wasn't good enough to be a mother again? Was this somehow her fault?

_Oh snap out of it Nora. It doesn't change reality. Would a child really fix things between you anyways? Do you really want to wonder if he's only there because of a baby? Oh what I would give to be the one---_

By the time they reached the house, she was drenched. He walked over to the car and pulled open the door for her. She gave him a look that told him she wasn't really sure if this was a good idea but she took his hand regardless. He led her to their bedroom and she could feel her heart catch in her throat. It had been so long since she had been there… so long since he had looked at her with love. And she was almost afraid to believe that things could be ok again.

She sat down on the bed as he stripped off his wet jacket and kneeled down in front of her, taking her hands in his. Her hands were trembling when he started to unbutton her shirt. Before he went any further, he cupped her face in his hands and looked at her.

Bo: I don't think it's_ any_ secret that I want you… but I also understand that _you're_ not so sure… so I'm giving you _one_ chance to back out. If this _isn't _what you want, you're going to have to tell me now because in about 5 seconds _that _won't be an option anymore. I will have lost _all_ train of rational thought. So what's it gonna be Red? Are you going with your head or your heart?

TBC 


	33. Shattered Part 33

**Shattered- Part 33**

She didn't have time to think. _Was he really asking her to choose?_ She didn't think she had the willpower to do that. She could attempt to muster out a simple yes or no but she had a feeling he would know that her brain had completely shut down. She wasn't even sure that any words would come out as her heart had caught in her throat and made it impossible for her to connect her words with her thoughts.

She could feel the blood drain from her body as he looked at her. Was he expecting her to say something? Was he expecting her to know what the hell she wanted? God she didn't know _anything _right now. She wasn't even sure she would _be_ here in the morning. It was easy to forget that she was dying when she was _so_ focused on him—

She had lost the moment of clear thought when he took her silence as an acceptance. Was that what this was? Was she following her heart? Or was she too damn scared to say no. She couldn't think at all when she felt his lips on hers. There was a part of her who wanted to get lost in that—wanted to forget that anyone had ever come between them—and she allowed herself to be seduced as he peeled her shirt from her body. Saying she didn't want him was a bold faced lie. She did—more then she had _ever _wanted _anyone_—more then she had a right to--- but—

But there was also the part of her that hated him. She hated that he didn't trust her enough to turn to her. She hated that he had shared things he was _supposed_ to be sharing with _her_ with another woman. She hated that he trashed her so completely. She hated that he cheated on her. She hated that he thought she _owed _him a second chance… she didn't exactly hate HIM—she despised him, she wanted to hurt him, she was angry at him—hell on most days she barely even wanted to see him—but it was _his actions _she hated—she could _never_ hate _the man _because she was still in love with him.

The kissing had intensified as they made their way to the bed. She tried to focus on how much she wanted him. She knew they could make love and it would be wonderful. It always_ was_ with them. But she_ couldn't_ get those images out of her head. Every time he kissed her, it_ wasn't _her face that she saw in her mind. And the images began to paralyze her.

When she could no longer take the light headedness she began to feel she ran for the bathroom. Bo gave her a few minutes and found her sitting on the floor with her head in the toilet. Bo took a cold washcloth and began to wipe her down. She began to relax a little.

Nora: I'm sorry, I just—

Bo: Nora, you have cancer. You' entitled to feel a little sick every now and then.

Nora: That's not what this is. I actually am having a pretty good day under the circumstances. This—this was because I made _myself_ sick.

Bo: What do you mean?

Nora: It's too soon for us to be making love Bo. I thought I could do it—Lord knows I _wanted_ to—but when you kissed me—it _wasn't_ us that I saw. I'm sorry. I'm just not ready to forgive you.

Bo: Well I _certainly_ understand that.

Nora: Do you? Do you _really_ understand? Because sometimes I think that you expect me to just snap my fingers and suddenly be ok with all of this?

Bo: Nora, I get it. _I _cheated on _you._ And I can rationalize it away all I want but it _doesn't _change the facts. _I_ was the one who wrecked our marriage. You—God Nora, you're _more_ then I deserve. You're one of the most forgiving, kind hearted people I know—but EVERYONE has that point where it's too much._ I_ pushed you well beyond your limit. And sometimes I'm sorry just _isn't_ enough.

Nora: Bo, I love you. That's _not _going to change. But I have to find a way to wrap my head around what you did if we're going to be together. And right now—right now I _still _don't understand.

She got up off the floor and went to put her shirt back on. She was headed for the door when he stopped her.

Bo: Nora, do you _really_ have to leave right now? It's pouring down rain.

Nora: I _can't_ stay. I'm not in the right frame of mind.

Bo: What if I promise to leave you alone?

Nora: You would _really_ do that?

Bo: I don't think you should be out in that storm. Just tell me what you need and I'll do it.

Nora: Ok. I'll stay…but _only_ until it stops raining.

When she walked back in, she sat on the couch and he made a fire. They watched old movies as they ate Pizza and drank root beer. It was the perfect way to celebrate their anniversary without really celebrating it. A few hours later, he said goodnight and she gave him a kiss on the cheek. She could tell that it meant a lot to him and she was happy that she had done it. They were slowly finding their way back to being friends. She still didn't trust him but at least she could be in the same room with him without wanting to strangle him. And she considered that a start.

After the storm had passed, she left as quietly as she could and drove the short distance to her hotel. She was shocked to find her standing there with some old photos.

Kelly: Nora—

Nora: You can relax. I didn't come here to fight.

Kelly: Uh—come in.

She walked passed her and handed her the photos.

Nora: Do you remember when these were taken?

Kelly: Of course I do. We were all so happy then.

Nora: Yeah—that was _before_ you stabbed me in the back.

Kelly: I don't know what you want me to say.

Nora: The truth might be nice. (Pausing)I _really_ need to find some way to understand this. You were my _friend_—you were like a _daughter _to me. When I found out that you slept with my husband—Kelly it was the _worst_ kind of betrayal. And I don't want you to think that I've let Bo off the hook because _believe me_ I haven't. I'm not here to attack you—I just want you to give me some sort of explanation.

Kelly: I'm not sure there _is_ one.

Nora: Then _why_ don't you _start_ by telling me how someone who is _supposed_ to be my friend can think its _ok _to have _sex_ with _my_ husband in _my own_ home? I mean really Kelly? What kind of friend _does_ that? I wouldn't even do that to my worst enemy—but a friend—God, you were _family_... that CERTAINLY wasn't an invitation.

Kelly: I know. And I'm sorry

Nora: I don't _want_ another phony apology. I'm _so_ sick of hearing those words. If you're so damn sorry then _stop_ being such a coward and admit what _I_ already know. Are you after my husband? And if you are, _what_ makes you think that I am going to just roll over and play dead? You want Bo—then you_ better_ be prepared for a fight. I am _not _going to just _hand_ him over to you.

TBC 


	34. Shattered Part 34

**Shattered- Part 34**

Kelly looked at Nora, almost as if she didn't hear her and Nora looked right through her. Whatever feelings she may have had for this woman died at her betrayal—

Kelly: Are you serious? Do you really think?

Nora: Not _think_ Kelly—_know_. I'm a woman. _Don't_ you _think_ I'd _know_ if some backstabbing tramp has eyes for my husband? And just in case it's not clear, I'm NOT going to be that girl I was before—I'm _not_ going to close my eyes to what I KNOW is the truth. I _don't_ trust Bo with _anything _right now but I trust _you_ even _less_. You can't even give me a straight answer.

Kelly: What does it matter what I say? You're obviously going to believe the worst?

Nora: Oh that's _rich_ coming from _you_—_you_, the woman who seduced my husband in my living room while _I _was finding out I was dying.

Kelly: Nora, for Gods sake I didn't know you were sick—

Nora: _So that makes it ok_? I mean is that what you're saying? What kind of woman are you Kelly? Do you _honestly_ believe that _anything _you did was justified? And _don't_ waste your pity on _me_—I may be sick but I can _certainly_ fight my own battles.

Kelly: Does that mean you've forgiven him?

Nora: It's none of your damn business _what_ I do with Bo. But I'll tell you this much—I'm _not_ like the women you're used to. You may think that you can bulldoze over _anyone_ you want just because you happen to be Dorian Lord's niece but that doesn't work on_ me._ I'm _not_ intimidated by_ you _OR your crazy aunt. So let me put this in terms that even someone as _clueless_ as _you_ MIGHT be able to understand—you go near my man again, you even LOOK at him funny-- I will _run _right over you. And _don't_ think I won't do it either. I've been dealing with women like you all my life—I could _crush _you in a heartbeat. _Don't_ play with the big fish Miss Cramer unless you can handle the consequences… you're _no_ match for _me_.

Kelly: Isn't there anything I can say to make this up to you?

Nora: I think you_ made _your choice when you _helped_ Bo self-destruct. A REAL friend would have _tried _to help him see reason instead of giving him the rope to hang himself… you might as well have handed him a loaded gun because YOU were his poison. I will NEVER forgive you for that. You _could _have helped him—helped _me_—but _what_ did you do? You listened to your own selfish need to get laid—_this_, coming only _months_ after you lost the so called love of your life.

Kelly: He WAS the love of my life.

Nora: Do you _really_ not _get_ how ridiculous that sounds? Drew was _only_ gone a few months and you're already hopping in the sack with his father? Who just_ happens _to be married to one of your so called friends? Did I even cross your mind Kelly? Did you even care what you were doing to me? Or was this so called connection you keep talking about worth more then—well ANYTHING?

Kelly: I'm sorry.

Nora: Yeah that's what I thought. You were _too _busy making _yourself _feel better that you didn't give a damn _who_ you were hurting in the process. You just make these cute little puppy dog eyes and shed a few crocodile tears and expect that men will just come riding to your rescue. And you know what? I _really_ don't care if you're that pathetic that you can't get along for five minutes without a man but do NOT think you will be manipulating _my_ husband into your bed again—you want a man—_find your own _because MY husband is _off limits. _

Kelly: And how does Bo feel about all of this?

Nora: Why? You going to go crying to him about _big bad Nora_—Go ahead. I think you'll find a lot more then you bargained for. DON'T push me Kelly. I _can't_ be held responsible for what I might do… especially when I hold YOU responsible for the death of my baby.

Kelly: That's ridiculous.

Nora: Not really. See if I hadn't been so stressed out, I probably would have known something was wrong earlier and I would have been able to catch it sooner. But I never paid attention to the signs because I was stressed out—and WHY was I stressed out Kelly… because of YOU. You do the math?

She picked up her purse and headed for the door… she turned back one more time.

Nora: Do yourself a favor and _stay the hell away from my husband._ I might be battling cancer but I_ still _know how to fight for my family. I might not be ready to forgive him but I sure as hell am not letting YOU wreck _any _chance we might have. If you push me, that little ordeal with your car is going to look like a cake walk. KEEP YOUR GRUBBY LITTE HANDS OFF MY HUSBAND OR THEY'LL BE HELL TO PAY!

And with that she slammed the door in her face. She almost went home but for some reason she decided to go back to Bo's. She was surprised when he answered the door.

Bo: I didn't expect to see you back

Nora: I didn't expect to_ be_ back.

Bo: So why did you come?

Nora: Because I can't sleep. It's lonely without you there. I spend half the night crying and the other half dreaming of you. Maybe I was wrong to turn you down?

Bo: What are you saying?

Nora: Maybe we should try a compromise. What would you say if I asked you to hold me tonight?

Bo: I'd say it's the best offer I've had all night.

She walked back into the house and he wrapped his arms around her as they walked upstairs together. She climbed under the covers first and he followed soon after. He wrapped his arms around her as she snuggled close to him. Before they nodded off to sleep he turned to her and said "I'm glad you came back." She smiled when she answered that she is too. It was the first restful sleep either of them had had in _months_.

TBC 


	35. Shattered Part 35

**Shattered- Part 35**

Nora woke up in Bo's arms the next morning to find him watching her. She smiled when she slowly began to wipe the sleep out of her eyes.

Bo: Did anyone ever tell you that you're a vision in the morning?

Nora: _You_ did—about a million different ways, a million different times. And I _don't _believe it _any _more _now_ then I did _then. _

Bo: Oh come on Red—you have the most natural beauty when you think no one is watching. You _don't _have to get all made up to look like a beauty queen. You're _my_ queen from the moment you open those beautiful eyes.

Nora: Bo—

Bo: Yeah—

Nora: Would you PLEASE cut the Charm. I haven't even had my morning Coffee. I'm _not_ accustomed to having a man flirt with me when I'm half asleep.

Bo (Kissing her): Get used to it babe. You _should _be getting it 24/7.

Nora (Smiling): You know—I'm starting to remember the reason I fell in love with you. You _always_ knew how to make me feel like the _only_ woman alive.

Bo: That's because you _are_…the only one that _matters_ anyways. I know you don't believe that but Nora—Nora waking up in your arms was the greatest feeling in the world. It made me think that maybe underneath all of that anger, there's still a part of you that wants the same thing I do. Am I wrong to think that?

Nora: No Bo, You're not. I _never_ said I didn't love you. In fact, I think my problem is probably that I love you_ too_ much. That's why it hurts _so _much.

Bo: I know the feeling. I just wish there was something I could say or do to make you believe in us again.

Nora: It's not that I don't believe Bo—it's that you _crushed_ my heart into a million pieces and I'm _not _sure that I can put them back together—I'm not sure _anyone _can. I _love _you—I _know _that you're sorry. And if I was a better person then I could just _forget_ everything else but I can't. When you get cheated on, it kind of destroys your self-esteem, your self-worth and the fact that it was someone my daughter's age, who was_ like _a daughter to me—well it's ten times worse. It's not so much about _me_ not believing in _you_—it's about _me_ not believing in _me._

Bo: I wish you could see what _I _see. It kills me to know that _I _did this to you. You _shouldn't_ have to doubt your worth Nora. You're the best woman I know.

Nora: But you _still _cheated on me? How is that SUPPOSED to make me feel? (Pause) I should probably tell you that I went to see Kelly last night. I didn't go there to fight. I just wanted an explanation that made sense.

Bo: Did you get one?

Nora: No. And we ended up getting into it again. You _have _to understand that this is a part of me I _don't_ like. I've_ never _been a jealous person… but _every_ time I see her, I _can't _get those images out of my head and then I just want to break something—or _someone_.

Bo: I'm sorry.

Nora: You _need_ to stop saying that. I'm _trying_ to work through these emotions and I'm_ going_ to have moments like _these_ where I _just_ need to rant. I _don't _want to hear _I'm sorry _anymore. I _told _you that I _know_ that. It _still_ doesn't change what happened.

Bo: So what do you want from me Nora?

Nora: I want you to be ok. We got _into_ this because you _weren't_. I don't_ want_ to be your police man Bo. I _don't _want to be walking around wondering if you're going to suddenly be suicidal again… or if you're going to want to wreck your life again. I CAN'T fight that Bo—I WON'T fight that. _You_ need to decide that you want_ me_—_us_… and you _need _to put_ me_ first. What_ I want_—what _I need_—is to be your wife, your lover, your best friend, your soulmate—if you _can't_ give me that—

He pulled her into a passionate kiss and then cupped her face in his hands as he looked at her.

Bo: Nora, I _want_ that_ more _then you can _possibly _know.

Nora: Then I _need_ you to _trust_ me and_ not_ think I'm telling you this out of some kind of jealousy.

Bo: Ok?

Nora: Kelly _isn't_ as over you as you might think. _I_ think she's hoping she can _use_ this child to lure _you_ back. And_ I_ need to know where _you_ stand on this Bo.

Bo: How can you even _ask_ that? I _just _told you that I loved you. Do you want me to sign it in blood because if that's what you want then…

Nora: I think I have a right to ask. I _need_ to know what your feelings for her were Bo. If I_ know_ then I can fight them. I _don't_ want to be blindsided again. She's trying to turn you against me…

Bo: Honey that's _never_ going to happen. If Kelly is hoping for some kind of grand reunion then she's going to be _very_ disappointed. We _never_ had _anything_ more then _one_ drunken night of sex and it was the _worst_ mistake I _ever_ made. It _didn't_ mean_ anything_ to me Nora. I swear.

Nora: So there was never _any _underlying feeling for her? You didn't feel _any_ kind of--

Bo: If you're thinking that I _ever_ felt _any_ kind of connection to her then you couldn't be more wrong. The _only_ woman I want to be with—the _only _woman I love—have _ever_ loved—is _you_. I know that's a little hard to believe when it's YOU that I cheated on but I swear to you Nora, It was ALWAYS_ you_ that I wanted.

Nora (Tears in her eyes): _Then why the hell did you cheat on me? Why did you throw us away for something that you claim never meant anything? Why did you break my heart?_

Bo: Nora I NEVER had _any _kind of romantic feelings for her—

Nora (Tears in her eyes): Not even a little—

Bo: Not even a little.

Nora: You don't even have to _think_ about it? If I find out that you're lying---If I—If I-

Her words were cut off with a passionate kiss that felt like the first and last all rolled into one.

Bo: Does that FEEL like a lie? Does that _feel_ like I could EVER want _anyone_ else?

Nora: I—I--

She let go of the breath she didn't know she was holding. And when she looked in his eyes, she _finally_ believed it.

Nora: _Oh Thank God._ (She allowed herself to fall into his arms) I was _so_ afraid to ask. And I _don't _think I could have forgiven you if you_ had_. Its one thing to forgive you for cheating on me but if you had loved her—even a little—I'm _not_ sure I could have_ overlooked_ that. It would have been _much _too painful.

Bo: Nora—Honey, did you _really _think that's what had happened?

Nora: I didn't really know. We didn't exactly talk about it. And _I_ was scared to death to bring it up. The _thought _of you _feeling_ things for her—it just knocked the wind right out of me.

Bo: Honey, _Please_ don't doubt my love for you. You can doubt _everything else _if you have to but that—that's the truest thing I've ever known. I would_ never_ lie to you about _that_. You believe me don't you?

Nora: I do now. But you never answered my question. If you _really_ didn't_ feel _things for her then _why_ did you have to cheat on me? Couldn't you have found a better way to wreck your life? Did you _really_ have to throw US away in the process? Because when you did that, you didn't just wreck YOUR life, you wrecked MINE. HOW is that fair? I_ never _did _anything_ but _love _you? And now—now I feel like I'm being punished for something.

Bo: How can you even THINK that? Nora, you're the most generous person I know. You _don't _just give your whole heart and soul but you go out of your way to help people. You're more forgiving and decent then _any _of us deserve.

Nora: Would you _stop _acting like I'm some sort of saint. Bo, you _can't _put me up on some kind of pedestal. I'm NOT perfect. And if you continually act as if I _am_ then I'm _going_ to disappoint you. NOBODY can live up to the image of _perfection_. And sooner or later I WILL fall off that pedestal.

Bo: Then why don't you just tell me why you think you're being punished?

Nora: Bo, _look _at the things I've had to live with. I have cancer—my husband cheated on me—I lost our baby—and now the woman he cheated on me with just _might _be pregnant with his child. What did I _do_ to _deserve_ all that? I might not be perfect but I'm _not_ a bad person am I? I mean was I _really_ that bad of a wife? Is that why you found it necessary to get away from me? To find someone better—someone younger—someone who—well, _isn't_ me?

He pulled her into his arms as her tears fell more freely. When she looked up at him, he made sure she was looking at him before continuing.

Bo: I _need_ you to hear this baby._ You_ did nothing wrong. _You're not _being punished. This is_ all _on _me_. _I'm _the one who broke your heart and your trust. _I'm _the one who made a_ huge_ mess of our lives._ I'm _the one who _couldn't _see what was _right_ in front of my face. ME—NOT you.

Nora: What's that?

Bo: _You_. You wanted to help me—heal me—and if I_ hadn't_ been such a jack ass then I _would _have_ seen_ that you were right. _All_ I needed to be ok was _you_. I needed your love and your acceptance and _everything _you were _already _giving me. _You had given me the world and I didn't even see it_. I was too determined to self destruct to even _pay attention _to the cost. It was_ too_ high Red. It cost me _you_. It cost me _my_ self respect. It cost me _your _respect. It cost _you_ a hell of a lot more. You're right Nora. I was a selfish bastard. And I _know_ that you_ don't _want to hear any more apologies but please—_please_ don't do this to yourself. I _couldn't_ have _asked_ for a_ better_ wife. You're NOT a bad person. You're _everything _that's _good._ And I may not _deserve _your forgiveness but there's _no one _better then _you_—there's _no one _that could _even_ come _close._ Don't you get that Red? You're the sun, the moon and the stars all rolled into one. And I could spend my whole life searching but I'd _never_ even come _close_ to what_ you_ are. _I love you Red. I love you more then I have a right to._ And if you'll let me, I'll spend the rest of our lives making it up to you._ Please don't leave me again._ You can hate me if you want—hell, I'll even let you throw things at me or call me names or frankly, _anything_ you feel you need to do. But I _don't_ know how to be _me_ without _you_. Please Nora—give me _one _more chance.

Nora: _One more chance to what?_ _Break my heart? Lie to me? Cheat on me? WHAT?_ Bo, you've _shattered_ _everything_ I _believed_ in. I've _never _been in_ more _pain then I am now. Hell I didn't even _know_ it was _possible_ to hurt this much. And now you want me to what? Forgive you? Trust you? Love you? Sometimes I think it would be easier to just cut you out of my heart completely? No scratch that—cut you out of my life. Loving you is like second nature to me. I don't know HOW to stop.

Bo: What are you saying? Are you saying we don't have a shot at all?

Nora: No. I'm saying we _do._ Forgiveness is a _long _way off Bo. But… but I love you. I can't stand the thought of walking away from you. As much as it hurts to stay, it would hurt even more to leave. But I_ need_ you to understand that I'm _no where near_ ready to trust you. And _if_ I find out that you have_ lied_ to me ONE more time then _we're done_. I_ will _walk away and _never _look back. You have_ broken_ my heart for the LAST time Bo. If you _do it _again, I will not only_ leave_ your sorry ass but I'll cut you off at the knees. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?

Bo: Crystal.

Nora: Good. Then I'm going to go take a shower so we can get to the hospital.

Bo: You're coming with me?

Nora: _Of course I am_. You don't _seriously_ think I'm going to let that back stabbing tramp lie to you now do you?

Bo: Nora, I—

Nora: Listen to me Bo. YOU might not be able to lay down the law with her but_ I sure as hell can_. I _already_ told her to _stay away _from you. I have NO problem reminding her of that if she steps out of line.

Bo: You really said all of that?

Nora: Well I'm NOT going to just _stand by _and _let _her take _my_ man again. If you want to say I was staking my claim then _you're damn right I was._ She might be having a baby but you're MY husband. NOBODY is going to be going home with you but ME. And _if_ you _forget _that again, I'll _kill_ you both.

He walked over to her and kissed her gently.

Bo: Thank you Nora. Thank you for standing by me. Thank you for loving me enough to give me another chance.

Nora: you just _better_ not make me regret it… and _by the way_… You're STILL in the doghouse.

And with that she walked to the bathroom in a way that she KNEW he was watching... and driving him crazy in the process. And then she closed the door in his face. When he put his hand on the knob he heard her call out.

Nora: Don't even THINK of it buster.

He smiled to himself when he walked downstairs. He thought about sending her flowers but the last bouquet he sent she sent back in pieces. She _wasn't _just_ mad_—she was _livid._ And he _knew _that in order for him to find a way to get OUT of the doghouse, he _had_ to win back her trust. Once he did that, _everything else _would follow. He looked at his watch and figured they had enough time to start with breakfast. He was grateful that he had gone shopping a few days ago. He had all the ingredients to make her favorite meal. He just hoped she wouldn't think he was going overboard.

TBC 


	36. Shattered Part 36

**Shattered- Part 36**

She walked down the stairs in her bathrobe when she smelled coffee. He was totally aware of how breathtakingly beautiful she looked wearing nothing but a small piece of fabric. And when their eyes met, it was clear that_ she_ was aware of the effect she was having on him and_ loving_ every minute of it. He on the other hand, was struggling to remember to breathe while he attempted to put two rational thoughts together and not having very much luck.

Bo: You _do_ realize that you completely knock me off my feet don't you?

Nora (Smiling): Why Commissioner—are you trying to say that-

Bo: You KNOW what I'm trying to say. _Don't _pretend that you don't.

Nora: If you_ liked _the package so dam much then _maybe_ you shouldn't have gone shopping elsewhere.

Bo: Are you saying it's too late to change my mind?

Nora: It's_ too_ late to take back your purchase when it's _already_ been opened. Now you're going to have to wait until THIS package gets shipped back in working order because it's currently _all sold out._

Bo: Baby, you're DEFINITLY in working order.

Nora: My heart _isn't_. If you listen carefully you'll hear the cracks in it. You don't want a heart that's still wounded do you?

Bo: I'd take_ you_ with scars and bruises if it was _still _you. (Kissing her) but hey, I'm a very patient man. If you say we have to wait then we wait. I want _you_ to trust me again. Not just with your life but with your heart.

Nora: And I hope that someday I will. But right now—

Bo: I know. I know that it's too soon. But you have to understand something Nora. You're a hell of an attractive woman. If you walk down the stairs in a bathrobe then you're going to have to expect me to stop breathing momentarily. Have you even SEEN the way you move? Nora you could stop traffic without even trying… you certainly put MY heart into cardiac arrest with ONE look.

Nora(Smiling): I _reall_y like it when you flirt with me. It makes me feel like a teenager again.

Bo: I like it when _you_ flirt back. It feels like we're back at the beginning. I _like_ falling in love with you a little more every day.

Nora: I _like_ that feeling too. More then you could _possibly_ know. (She picked up a cup and poured the coffee and sipped it). You _still_ make the best cup of coffee I've ever tasted.

Bo: You _still_ lie through your teeth better then _anyone_ I know.

Nora(Laughing):_ You've got to be kidding me_. Me? Since when have I EVER been able to lie without giving away _everything_? I don't exactly have a poker face.

Bo: That's why it's called a _white_ lie. You do THAT better then _anyone_ I know.

She smiled at him as she sat at the table.

Nora: You made breakfast? It's probably cold by now.

Bo: That's the beauty of a microwave. We can heat it up in a few seconds.

Nora: Do we have time for this Bo? I don't want to be responsible for you missing that appointment. Our lives depend on what that test shows.

Bo: I'm _perfectly_ aware of what that test means. But right now I want to have breakfast with my wife. I'm NOT letting you skip another meal sweetheart. You have cancer. You NEED to keep your strength up. So why don't you go get changed so I can breathe again and we'll spend a few minutes doing what a married couple SHOULD be doing in the morning. Is that TOO much to hope for?

She kissed him on the cheek as she got up.

Nora: No Bo. It's NOT too much to hope for. It's very sweet. And I love you for it.

When she left the room, Bo just stared at her retreating back. She had been right on _everything_ she said. He _hated_ to admit that he had screwed up_ so_ bad but he did. He couldn't even blame this_ partially_ on her because she had been NOTHING but a loving wife. HE was the one who stabbed her in the back. It killed him to think just _how_ much he had destroyed her—and at a time when she needed him _so_ much. If it took him the rest of his life, he would find a way to make it up to her.

She returned a few minutes later in a professional looking suit with her hair tied back and a few curls falling down her face. Who was _he_ kidding? He STILL couldn't breathe. She took his breath away just by being _her_. It still amazed him how much she could do with a simple look. She _had_ him hook, line and sinker.

They sat and ate their breakfast together. He almost couldn't eat _himself_ because he was too busy staring at HER.

Nora: What? Do I have something on my face?

Bo: No. You're just— you're beautiful. I_ like_ watching you.

Nora: Well normally I'd have_ no_ problem with that but we don't have time for this Bo.

Bo: There's ALWAYS time to tell your wife that she's _amazing._ Especially when you realize that you've taken her for granted for WAY too long. I just need you to know that I SEE you… I see you as the woman who completes me but I also see you for YOU. I know that you've got every reason in the world to run but for some reason you're still here…

Nora: I'm here because even though I think you're an a**—you're MY A** and I want to make sure that NOBODY scams you. I love you Bo. You _don't_ deserve my love but you have it. _That_ means we're in this together.

Bo: And I realize what that is costing you so I just want to say Thank you.

Nora: You _don't_ have to thank me for loving you Bo. It's as natural as breathing. And _believe me_… right now I wish I felt _anything_ but love. It would be a hell of a lot easier. Loving you feels like torture right now.

There was a brief pause as they looked at each other. Bo knew she didn't want another apology so he just went back to his plate. After they were done, they carried their plates to the sink and were once again stuck in that inevitable feeling of not knowing what to say or do.

Nora: It's time to stop avoiding the inevitable Bo.

Bo: You know, this is a little hard for me to admit but right now I've never been more scared.

Nora: I didn't think you were scared of ANYTHING.

Bo: I am of_ this_. Because if that test doesn't turn out the way we want it to then I'm going to lose YOU all over again and I can't even _think_ of that right now. It scares the hell out of me.

Nora: Life without YOU pretty much scares the hell out of me too. But lets not go there. Lets just be grownup about this and _try_ to hope for the best.

Bo: Can I make a request?

Nora: You can _ask._ There's no guarantee that I'll agree.

Bo: If we get the results we want—Will you let me take you out on a date? And I'm not talking about some little fly in the wall shindig either—I'm talking the whole nine yards?

Nora: The whole nine yards?

Bo: As in I treat this like our_ first_ date. Maybe that's what we need. Maybe we need to just wipe the slate clean and start over. Pretend that we don't have a past or a future—just now.

Nora: Well in that case—(Holding out her hand) I'm Nora Hanen… nice to meet you Mr….

Bo: Buchanan… Bo Buchanan.

They shook hands as she looked at him.

Nora: _If _that test comes back positive, all bets are off. But IF it comes back negative, I'm willing to give this clean slate a shot. I _can't_ promise you not to be hurt Bo. I'm having a _really_ hard time getting over this—but you're right. Maybe we need to start over from the beginning… maybe _you_ need to give me a reason to fall in love with you again. I'm not saying I don't love you because I do but I'm having a hard time finding a reason as to why I SHOULD put my heart on the line again. You take me out on a date—you _find_ a way to show me. Maybe then we can _finally_ heal.

Bo: I really hope we _can_ because Nora—waking up in your arms today—it made me realize just _how_ much you mean to me. My life doesn't mean much if _you're_ not there because you're the other half of my soul and I know that _I'm_ the one who screwed that up but I want you to know that I appreciate you for who you are. Loving you was the smartest thing I EVER did… not that I had much choice in the matter. You have a way of making a man fall in love with you when it's the_ last_ thing he wants to do… and I Thank God every day because _you_ were my unanswered prayer. Now I can't imagine NOT loving you.

Nora: Me too Bo… me too.

They shared a tender kiss before they turned and walked out the door. This could very well be the end of whatever progress they just made. They _both_ said a silent prayer for a miracle. And neither one of them was sure that they believed in them anymore.

TBC 


	37. Shattered Part 37

**Shattered- Part 37  
**  


She was coming around the corner with coffee when she ran into her brother. She gave him a tentative smile when she knew what the first words out of his mouth would be.

Nora: Don't say it ok. This is something I have to do. I know it's not the best thing for my health but—

Steven: I think you know how I feel about this sweetheart and it's not for the reasons you might think. I hate that Bo hurt you. I see that look in your eyes and it kills me because you should never have had to feel that way at all—especially from the man who promised you forever. But that's not what this is about? I'm afraid that the stress will be too much for you—and Nora—Nora you have to take care of yourself. You can't afford to forget that you have cancer.

Nora: When have you EVER known me to burry my head in the clouds? I'm a fighter Steve. I face things head on. That's exactly what I'm doing now. It's worse for me if I sit on the sidelines and worry about when the next the shoe is going to drop and pull the rug out from under me.

Steven: Sweetheart, you KNOW I'm on your side. If you decide that you want to take Bo back then—

Nora: I do. I'm not saying it will be easy. Lord knows I don't trust him at all right now. But if that due date puts Bo out of the running for father of the year then—then I think I want to try again. I could spend my life with or without him but I'm always going to love him.

Steven: And Bo? What does he feel?

Nora: He swears he's sorry. He promises he doesn't have feelings for her. He seems like he wants to try again. (Pausing) Yes Steve, he loves me. I looked in his eyes and I saw it. And he's told me enough times. I can live with a lot of things and I've told him that if he ever lies to me again I'd divorce him. I won't live with a man I can never trust again. So far I think he's been on the level. Shouldn't I at least try to fix what's broken?

Steven: That's up to you baby. And I'll support whatever decision you make. Just know that I love you—and if I ever find out that he's hurt you again—and that includes anything that makes you cry—well I think we may just have to redefine the word ugly. NOBODY makes my little sister hurt and gets away with it.

Nora: You're still my hero you know? (She gave him a kiss on the cheek) Just because you can't chase away the bullies this time doesn't mean I don't know that you would if you could. Don't worry about me Steve. I can fight my own battles this time.

Steve: I know you can. But that doesn't mean I won't worry. I want you around you know?

Nora (Pulling out the bottle from her purse): I'm taking the pills Dr. I'm going to come in and see the specialist tomorrow. One fire at a time ok?

Steven: As long as you promise to take care of yourself?

Nora: Scouts honor.

She smiled at him as she walked away. He could only hope that Nora knew what she was doing because he hadn't seen that fire in her eyes in a long time. She needed good news today.

Nora found Bo and Kelly sitting in the waiting room. She went over and handed a cup of coffee to Bo. She turned to Kelly.

Nora: I would have gotten YOU something but everything they had was unhealthy for the baby. I won't be responsible for you neglecting your responsibilities as a mother.

Kelly was about to say something when the nurse came in and said the doctor was ready for them. When Nora started to follow them, Kelly tried to stop her.

Kelly: You don't have to babysit me anymore Nora.

Nora: If you think I'm going to sit in the waiting room while you go take a test that involves MY husband you're crazy.

Kelly: I don't want you there.

Nora: I don't give a dam WHAT you want. _You_ may be the one pregnant, but since you're trying to claim that _my_ husband is your baby's father then _I _have just as much of a reason to be there.

Kelly: And what exactly do you think I'm going to do? Nora, for Gods sake, it's an examining room.

Nora: Yes, and it's filled with all kinds of things that you can use to lie. So—again I tell you—I will sit in the waiting room when hell freezes over. This is a situation that involves ALL of us—so shut the hell up and let's get this over with. Unless of course, YOU don't want me there?

Bo: Wasn't I the one who said I did?

Nora: Just checking. I'm going to need that a lot in the near future.

Bo: You got it. (He kissed her lightly)

They said nothing more as they walked towards the examining room. Nora and Bo stood off to the side as Kelly got ready for the doctor to come in.

Kelly: This is really embarrassing you know?

Nora: Then maybe you should have used protection. We wouldn't be here if you had—or better yet, maybe you should have remembered what's yours and what's mine and kept your hands off my husband.

Kelly: Nora—

Nora: No, you know what? Why don't you just shut up? Every time you open your mouth you make me want to hurt you. And since you happen to be pregnant, that's not really an option. So please—don't say anything.

Kelly turned away and Bo turned to Nora.

Bo (Whispering): Are you always this sexy when you're territorial?

Nora: I don't know Bo—am I?

Bo: Hell yeah.

Nora: Then don't you forget it—not ever again. I can be your friend (Kissing him) - your VERY good friend (Deepening the kiss) or I can be your enemy. That's up to you.

He was about to say something further when Larry walked in with the results.

Kelly: Where's my OBGYN?

Larry: I offered to deliver these results since I know all the parties involved. This isn't a formal test. It's just a due date. And since I know that Nora here needs to keep her stress level at a minimum, I figured I should be around for the results.

Nora: And what exactly ARE those results?

Larry: Why don't I let Bo read them?

Nora took a deep breath as he took the folder out of Larry's hand. This was the moment of truth—and she couldn't tell whether his look was out of happiness or sorrow. She could already feel the tears in her eyes and she could only pray that those results weren't what she feared. "Please God, Give me a break. I have put up with cancer, the death of my child and my husband's infidelity. When is enough going to be enough? "

Nora: _Well? What does it say Bo?  
_

TBC 


	38. Shattered Part 38

**Shattered- Part 38**

The look of panic that spread across her face was evident to everyone, including her heart, which was now beating a mile a minute. Bo put the results on the table and took both her hands in his… trying to calm the nerves she struggled to keep at bay. It didn't seem to do much good as she could feel her nerves grow shakier as he steadied her to face him. She tried to remember to breathe when he looked in her eyes.

Bo: You can breathe Red. It's—its good news.

Nora: You mean—

Bo: I'm not the father.

Nora: Are you sure? Are you absolutely positive—I need you to be 100% certain before you tell me this because I'm already imagining a future with us and if I allow myself to go down that road again, I need to know that this isn't going to come back at some point in the near future and bite us all in the butt because I can't do it again Bo—I can't.

Bo: I'm positive sweetheart. Do you want to look at the results? I can show you how I know?

She forced herself to be strong as he showed her the date. She smiled when she looked at him.

Nora: We were out of town when the baby was conceived. Actually we were trying to figure out if we could have a child of our own. All those tests—all those—(Tears in her eyes)

Bo: All those wonderful nights of "Practicing." Nora if you still want it then when you are physically well enough, we can try again. I don't want to have another child with_ anyone_ but you… and… (Taking her face in his hands as he gently wiped the tears from her face) Nora, I promise you that those tests are not going to come back to haunt us. We can take a paternity test if you want—when it's safe—but

Nora: Oh God… I was almost afraid to hope. So much had happened—so many bad things just knocked me off my feet and made it impossible for me to believe in anything good… But this- Oh God, you're not-

He walked over to her as she threw herself into his arms crying. He held her as she finally allowed all her emotions to come tumbling out.

Bo: It's ok sweetheart. You can believe. I'm not that child's father. And the only person I care about right now is you.

She looked up to the sky as her tears fell more freely.

Nora: Oh God in heaven- Thank you— I know I've been asking for a lot lately but I don't know if I could have survived if things had turned out differently so—So I guess I owe you one. Thank you… thank you so much.

Bo: Where do we go from here sweetheart?

Nora: Right now we go home. Tomorrow, we go to the hospital.

Bo: Does this mean-

Nora: I can't make any promises Bo—But I want you to be there when I go in and have them poke and prod me and try to figure out what new brand of treatment they can give me that they haven't tried before. And I want you to hold my hand when the inevitable sickness follows. We promised in sickness and in health and I guess it's never been more true then right now.

Bo: And I wouldn't be anywhere else…

Nora: Good because I really need you. I'm having trouble believing that I'm going to beat this and I need you to be my strength. I need you to be the man I know you can be—the man I always believed you were.

Bo (Kissing her gently): I love you sweetheart. If you'll have me, I'd do anything to make it up to you. I'm not going to let you die. You do know that don't you? If I have to find a way to fight death itself then I will.

Nora (Smiling): You would wouldn't you?

Bo: I'd do anything to make you well again. And right now I'd settle for making you smile. Lord knows you haven't had very many of them lately.

Nora: No I haven't. But I know something we can do to change that.

Bo: Anything.

Nora: Take me home. I want to celebrate our new beginning—

Bo: Nora, are you—

Nora: I want to be your wife again. I know I am legally still yours but I haven't been_ yours_ in – God I don't even_ know_ how long. The last time we slept together it was just sex. We were so lonely and angry and—well you _know_ what happened. But—but when was the last time that we made love because honestly Bo—I can't remember.

Bo: Are you sure that you're ready? The last time we tried this, you said you weren't. I don't want to push you into anything you're not ready for.

Nora: How about you just take me home and we see. One of the obstacles that was in our way has been removed. I'm not worried about this baby. Maybe that's enough. I _can_ tell you that I want to try again. I want to be your wife again—I want YOU to stay with me and be my husband. It's going to take a lot of work but… But I've decided to give you another shot—or at least give you a shot to prove to me that you are worthy of one. I love you Bo. I could spend my life with or without you but that's not going to change. I'd much rather spend it with you… if you'll still have me.

Bo:_ If I'll still have you?_ Nora, _I'm_ the one who screwed up. I should be asking YOU that.

Nora: is that a yes—

Bo: Nora, I have been waiting for this moment since the day you walked out on me. If you have to ask…( He pulled her into a passionate kiss) Does that answer your question?

Nora: It's a start.

Bo: A start huh? What's it going to take for you to be convinced?

Nora: Take me home and you'll find out.

They started to walk towards the door when Nora turned back to face Kelly.

Nora: Do me a favor and stay out of my marriage from now on. If you need a father for your child, try to find someone who's not already taken because if you get in my way again, I WILL take you down—baby or no baby.

They walked out the door, arm in arm, feeling the first sense of hope that they had in a long time. When they got to the car, and the rain fell down on them, He pulled her into his arms for a passionate kiss. Neither of them could be sure how long it had lasted but they _did_ know that for the first time in MONTHS, they felt that animal passion pulling them back towards the house—wanting like hell, to be together in _every_ sense of the word and not sure if they had the strength to _wait_ until they made it there.

TBC 


	39. Shattered Part 39

**Shattered- Part 39**  


They were standing in the rain getting more drenched as he attempted to put the key in the door. The minute they stepped out of the car it was like the sky opened up. Now she was in his arms and he was too distracted to find the keyhole. A few minutes later, the door was opened and he was kicking it shut with his foot as he wrapped her further in his arms. The keys were still in the door as he kissed her passionately and pulled them from the keyhole. He dropped them on the floor as he lifted her up off the ground. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she kissed him and they walked towards the bedroom.

Sitting her down on the bed, he kneeled in front of her and took her hands in his. His eyes were pleading with her to tell him if this was still something she wanted. She was wearing white and the material had been drenched from the rain so his heart caught in his throat when he looked at her… he could see the shadows from her undergarments and it only made him want her more. Kissing his way up her arms, his hands found the buttons of her shirt and when he unbuttoned one, he would kiss the bare skin that was revealed until he had completely removed the shirt and threw it on the floor. He could sense that she was scared so he steadied himself so she could see the fear in his own eyes. It had been so long since they had really been together and they were both afraid of if things had changed too much. Nora began to pull his shirt from his body as she looked at him. With every kiss, more clothing was removed and thrown in a pile on the floor. Finally, she stood before him, completely exposed and he couldn't take his eyes off her.

Bo: God You are beautiful Red.

He ran his hands across her stomach. He placed gentle kisses to let her know that he saw the woman she was now—the woman who had been pregnant with their child and never got to see her.

Bo: One day baby—one day we will get that chance. And you will only be more beautiful.

Nora: I thought that time would have changed us. But God—god you're still sexy as hell. How do you do that? How can you go through life and still look the same as the first time I held you?

Bo (Kissing her): The love of a good woman. And for the record sweetheart—you put other women to shame—you are not only sexy as hell but you take my breath away. How is it possible for you to be so flawlessly beautiful and not even know it?

They didn't say anything more as their lips crashed into a mind blowing kiss that left them both breathless. The urgent way they clung to each other as they made love surprised both of them—they hadn't known they could ever need another person that much.

They were lying in each other's arms a little while later.

Nora: Wow, that was—that was—

Bo: I know. There are no words. You're amazing.

Nora: you're not so bad yourself. Thank you for waiting for me to be ready.

Bo: You're worth waiting for. But I should really be thanking YOU for giving me another shot. I'm sure it would have been easier to just walk away.

Nora: It would NEVER be easy to walk away from YOU—but you're right. Staying with you when I knew you had been with another woman—that was the hardest thing I ever did—and I was thisclose to just throwing in the towel and telling you exactly where you could stick it.

Bo: So why didn't you?

Nora: At the end of the day, I still loved you. I was mad as hell—and don't think that's changed just because I've given in to my feelings for you—but I couldn't walk away because I still wanted you in my life. I love you Bo. How could I ever give up on that without a dam good fight?

Bo: I'm grateful that you didn't. And I'll spend the rest of my life finding a way to make sure you never regret that decision. I love you Nora. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Nora(Kissing him): You're right. I Am. And don't you _ever_ forget it again. (Kissing him again) and you're the best thing that's ever happened to me too. Just know that if you ever hurt me like that again—

Bo (Kissing her): Not gonna happen sweetheart. Not gonna happen.

Nora: You're dam right it's not… because if you _ever_ hurt me again, you're going to regret it.

Bo: I don't doubt that. But maybe you should try to get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long day for us. I don't want you getting over tired.

Nora (Smiling seductively): I'm not THAT tired yet. You up for another round of our "Aerobics?"

Bo (Kissing her back): Do you even have to ask?

She laughed slightly as he pulled her back into his arms for a passionate kiss that quickly led to much more… and more… and more.

TBC


	40. Shattered Part 40

**Shattered- Part 40**

Nora walked downstairs, still a little drowsy from the night before and smiled at the sight before her. It was almost like she had been transported back in time to any number of mornings before when they were happy. Bo was sitting at the kitchen table drinking his coffee and reading the morning paper. He was still in his boxers and T shirt so she knew he hadn't showered yet and when he saw her standing there watching, he knew exactly what she was thinking. He gets up and walks towards her and takes her in his arms for a passionate kiss. Nora wraps her arms around his neck as she looks at him.

Nora: It feels exactly the same as when I left it. Seeing you sitting there this morning—

Bo: I know. It feels like nothing has changed. It's strange to say that when we both know EVERYTHING has.

Nora: Yeah it has. But at the same time, the really important things haven't. It's good to be home Bo. It's good to be in a place where we can work on what's broken.

Bo (Kissing her): Why don't you sit down and I'll feed you breakfast? You need to keep up your strength for that doctor's appointment today.

Nora: Among other things

She smiled at him and he caught her meaning and smiled back. When she sat at the table, he served her a plate of just about every breakfast food she could imagine. She looked up at him with a questioning glance.

Nora: You don't honestly expect me to eat ALL of this do you?

Bo: Well, I wasn't sure if your tastes had changed so I made it all.

She leaned over the table and kissed him gently.

Nora: You're a prince you know that? At least when it comes to pampering me.

Bo: You deserve to be pampered. You SHOULD have been pampered all along.

She said nothing more as she went to her plate and started to eat. Bo just watched her as he finished his own. After they were finished, she grabbed his hand and led him towards the bathroom.

Somewhere between the kitchen and the bathroom, Bo had managed to scoop her up into his arms. Her legs had already wrapped around his waist and her arms around his neck as they kissed. The moment they made it to the bathroom, he sat her down on the counter, never breaking contact. Her hands managed to reach inside his shirt and tease him with pleasure as she pulled it from his body. She only smiled when she began to place gentle kisses on his chest until she finally reached his mouth and they got lost in the moment. Dragging her into the shower, he began to pull the rest of her barely there nightgown from her body. Neither of them seemed to care that he had drenched it in his attempt to seduce her under the shower faucet.

They had no concept of time as they stood under the hot water and kissed. Nothing seemed to matter to each other but how much they wanted each other as they began to "wash" each other with not only the soap but the passion that they could never keep at arms length. When the bathroom started to get too steamy, he turned the water off and wrapped her in a towel. He was drying her off when he looked at her.

Bo: It should be illegal for someone to look as good as you do when you're this sick… and first thing in the morning no less.

Nora: I have a good doctor—and I'm not talking about Larry either. (She kissed him) you my dear are the medicine for _everything _that ails me.

Bo: I wish that were really true

Nora (She kissed him): You've been _exactly_ what I need. Now would you shut up and kiss me? It's _not_ going to be very long before I'm _too_ sick for _any_ of this. I expect you to take full advantage of me while we still can.

He laughed slightly before he carried her to the bed and they got lost in a morning of lovemaking. He found her standing at the bathroom mirror a little while later. He wrapped his arms around her when he saw what she was doing.

Bo: You wouldn't by chance be dressing sexier for _my_ benefit?

Nora: What's the matter? Don't you like it?

Bo: Is that a trick question? (Pausing) Nora, you couldn't possibly BE any sexier. But I don't want you to change who you are because you think it's what _I _want. What I want is YOU.

Nora: Not always. And I'm not saying that because I want to make you feel guilty. I meant it when I said I wanted to try again. But I've been trying to understand why you would have been susceptible to that and I think it's because of the way she carries herself. You can't deny the sexual appeal Bo… maybe _I_ just wasn't sexy enough for you?

Bo: _Are you kidding me?_

When he saw the look in her eyes, he knew she was serious. He turned her around to face him and took her hands.

Bo: Baby, I need you to listen to me. There is NOTHING wrong with you. _You _are the sexiest woman alive and I'm _not_ just saying that as the man who loves you but as the man who knows how big of a jack ass he was when he cheated on you. Nora have you SEEN the way men look at you because _I_ have. You could stop traffic with nothing more then a look. You don't NEED all this stuff to turn a man's head—you do it _every_ day just by being you. And I don't EVER want you to doubt that again.

The tears fell from her face when she threw her arms around him and cried. When she pulled away she looked at him.

Nora: I'm sorry if I'm being silly. You're just going to have to be patient with me until I get my self-esteem back. It's been at rock bottom ever since I found that you cheated on me. I'm sorry Bo- I just feel so insecure right now.

Bo: I can be as patient as you need. And you _don't_ have to apologize for ANYTHING sweetheart. I'M the one who's sorry. I'm sorry I EVER made you feel undesireable for even _one _second when in fact you're the most desirable woman on the pannet.

He kissed her gently as she stepped back into the closet and decided on something a little more appropriate for a trip to the doctor's office.

When she came back out, Bo could tell something had changed.

Bo: Nora, what is it? You don't look so hot.

Nora: I think something's wrong. I feel nauseous.

He placed his hand on her head and noticed that she was burning up.

Bo: Nora, you're on fire—and I mean that literally.

Nora: I know. I feel like I'm going to-

Before she had a chance to finish the sentence, she collapsed right into his arms. Bo knew in that moment that whatever progress they had made in her treatment had just taken a nosedive in the other direction.

TBC


	41. Shattered Part 41

**Shattered- Part 41**

Bo didn't bother waiting for an ambulance because he was afraid she might not have that much time. When he ran into the hospital with her in his arms, Larry was already bringing out a gurney. He stood outside the room and watched as her brother came around the corner.

Steven: What the hell happened?

Bo: If I knew THAT then we wouldn't be here. (He paused before he said the words they _both_couldn't stand to think of) She's sick. Maybe she's just running out of time.

Steven: _If you think I'm going to stand by and watch my little sister die—_

Bo:_If you think I'm going to watch my wife die_—

There was a brief moment of understanding when they realized they both wanted the same thing. A couple minutes later, Larry came out of the room.

Bo: What's going on Larry? Why did she look so pale?

Larry: I'm afraid it's_not_ good news- (Pausing) her body is rejecting the transplant. Right now her organs are failing. If she doesn't get another transplant soon—

Bo: Larry, you said that the LAST time this happened. She almost didn't get it. How long is it going to take for her to get another transplant? And does she have the time?

Larry: She just moved to the top of the list Bo.

Bo: That means she's critical doesn't it?

Larry: I'm afraid so.

Bo: So basically we're waiting for someone to die in order for her to live. What kind of sense does that make?

He walked over to the window and looked in just as he saw the last person he wanted to see right now.

Bo: _Oh no. Somebody better get her the hell out of here right now or there's going to be bloodshed_.

Steven: Bo, calm down. _I'll _deal with her right now. You just pull yourself together and give my sister a reason to keep fighting. You and I both know that you're the ONLY one who can do that.

Steven pulled Kelly into an examination room and forced her to sit.

Steven: I don't know what the hell you think you're doing but you're going to listen to me if it's the last thing you do. STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY SISTER—and that INCLUDES her husband.

Kelly: Look, I don't know what you think you know but I came here for an appointment. I had no idea he would be here.

Steven: _Oh cut the crap Kelly_. You and I both know what you were doing and why. I'm here to make sure it STOPS. You will NOT cause my sister ANY more pain.

Kelly: And what exactly are you going to do about it?

Steven: Simple. If you _don't_ back off, I'll just tell Bo the REAL reason you destroyed his marriage. And it has NOTHING to do with grief. Wonder how he'd feel about you then?

Bo walked into Nora's hospital room and took her hand as he sat beside her and watched the machines keep her comfortable. He could barely hold the tears inside as she opened her eyes.

Nora(Weakly): Don't sugar coat it Bo. I need the truth. How bad is it? Am I dying?

TBC


	42. Shattered Part 42

**Shattered- Part 42****  
**

Bo felt his heart break into a million pieces when she asked him. The one thing he had never been able to deny her was the truth and he wasn't sure he could give it to her this time because he refused to believe it.

Nora: Bo, please. Just tell me what Larry told you. I have a right to know if I should start saying my goodbye's…

Bo: Please don't talk like that. I can't… no, I WON'T accept that.

Nora: You might not have a choice.

Bo (taking her hand): Nora, I will NOT let you check out on me ok? I don't care what the doctors say… I know that you're a fighter. You've beaten things so much worse then this before

Nora: Just tell me what the doctor's said…

Bo: Larry said that you're rejecting the transplant

Nora: So I need another liver… in addition to…(crying)... God, Bo how do you think I'm going to survive this? How much surgery can my body handle?

Bo: As much as you _have_ to. Because when you pull through this—and I believe that you will—I want us to get married again. I want us to have the wedding we never got to plan—I want _you_ to have all the trimmings.

Nora: You want us to renew our vows?

Bo: Why not? It's been _months_ since we _kept_ them? Isn't it time we let the world know that we're back and better then ever?

Nora (Tears in her eyes): If I pull through this—and I _don't_have the faith that _you_ do— but _If_ I do—then I would be honored to renew my vows to you and let _everyone_ know that this marriage is not _capable_ of being broken forever. But I have something that I want to ask of YOU if I pull through this—

Bo: You know that I would do ANYTHING for you…

Nora: I want us to have another baby. Loosing our daughter was the _worst_ kind of pain I'd _ever_ gone through and watching you almost go through it with someone else was a double edged sword. I _want_ your child Bo—if I pull through this, I want us to try again.

Bo (Kissing her deeply): I would love nothing more then to have a child with you. I miss our daughter too Nora. I didn't even know she existed but I'm sorry that you lost her… that WE lost her. This cancer has cost us WAY too much already. I will NOT let it take your life. And you know how stubborn I can be when I want to. If I have to knock on every door on every street then I will. You WILL get that transplant.

Nora (Smiling): I love you Bo Buchanan.

Bo: I love you too Mrs. Buchanan

They kissed gently and Nora looked at Bo.

Nora: Do you know where my brother is? I really need to see him?

When she saw the look on his face, she knew right away that something was wrong.

Nora: What aren't you telling me? (Giving him the look) Where is my brother right now? And DON'T hold anything back? You're on shaky ground as it is—you can't _afford_ to lie.

Bo (Pausing): Kelly showed up. He's talking to her right now.

Nora (Becoming agitated): Take me to him Bo.

Bo: Nora, you need to calm down.

Nora: No, what I _need_ is to see my brother. I WON'T let him make any grand sacrifices for me. Either take me to see him or I'll do it myself.

* * *

Kelly looked at Steven, obviously shocked by what he was saying and he just looked right through her.

Steven:_Don't_ pretend that you don't know that this is REALLY about ME. Ever since I cheated on you years ago, you've become a different person. For _years_ I felt like trash for ruining the best thing that _ever_happened to me but now I'm beginning to wonder if it was YOU who _never_ deserved ME. I _loved_ you Kelly. I made one mistake—one horrible, awful mistake—and you couldn't get away fast enough.

Kelly: I fail to see what this has to do with your sister?

Steven: then you're blind, dense or just stupid. (Pause) You and I both know that you used your so called grief over Drew…

Kelly: I resent the fact that you think I never loved him—

Steven: If you loved him that much then why did it take you all of five minutes to jump in the sack with his father? Come on Kelly—you went after Bo for _one_ reason and _one_ reason only—to get back at ME—because you knew dam well that my sister is the one person in this world I care about more then my career or my reputation. Why don't you just have the guts to admit it?

Kelly: You don't have any proof of ANY of this

Steven: No but I _do_ have the truth on my side. Nora was right about you all along—you are nothing but a lying, cheating, manipulative tramp. If you were a decent person at all, you NEVER would have used Bo's grief against him. I may have my issues with the man for what he did to my sister but I _do_ know that he's sorry. The only thing YOU'RE sorry for is that you got caught.

Kelly: look, I don't know where you're getting your information but I've apologized to Nora numerous times—

Steven: Yeah because you thought it could get you _points _with Bo. _Stop lying Kelly._ You are STILL throwing yourself at my sister's husband every chance you get… and it is going to STOP. My sister is sick—_very_ sick—and I know that _you_ would probably _love_ it if she kicked the bucket but there are _a lot_ of people in this world who _love_ her… who WON'T let that happen. The LAST thing she needs is YOU.

Kelly: Does Nora know about your little theory?

Steven: _Don't _insinuate crazy conspiracies. The ONLY reason I didn't tell her is because she is very weak. I _just_ found out that you were the same person a couple weeks ago and by then I knew she had cancer and was in so much pain it just didn't seem to matter. What was the point? _We_ ended years ago. But now—now when you are _constantly_ trying to come on to a man who doesn't want you—and you _do_ get that don't you—_He doesn't want you_—and really who can blame him? Because _any_ man who had a choice between Nora and you—they'd choose Nora EVERY time. And you know why?

Kelly: I'm sure you're going to tell me.

Steven: Nora doesn't pretend to be someone she's not. She doesn't play silly games and go after other people's husbands. She's a good person with a heart of gold and she might not be perfect but she sure as hell isn't fake… that's more then I can say for _you._ And right now I'm starting to regret that I EVER knew you. My God Kelly—what happened to you? I don't have _any_ idea what happened to that kind, sweet girl I fell in love with. Now you're just a carbon copy of your aunt and that's NOT a compliment. You think you can just bulldoze over anyone who gets in your way. Well you CAN'T do it to her. You want to destroy my career, ruin my reputation—hell you can even sue me for damages if you want—I'll give you _whatever_ you dam well want if you'll just go away and leave my little sister alone.

It was then that he heard the door open and Bo wheeled Nora into the room.

Nora: What's going on Steven? Why are you so mad? (To Kelly) And what the hell are _you _doing here? Do you have a death wish?

TBC


	43. Shattered Part 43

**Shattered- Part 43**

The tension in the room could be cut with a knife as Nora pulled herself out of the wheelchair and tried to stand. Steven was immediately at her side when she started to stumble.

Steven: Nora, please… you're going to hurt yourself.

Nora: I already AM hurt. It can't possibly get much worse then this. (To Kelly) I would appreciate an answer Kelly. And _don't_ try to tell me that you were going to the OBGYN because you and I _both_ know that there's a whole wing on the other side of the hospital dedicated to pediatrics and pregnancy so _don't_ give me another line of bull. What the hell are you doing here?

Kelly: I thought you had all the answers. Why do you care what I have to say when you're not going to believe it anyways?

Nora: Cut the crap Kelly. Your little miss Victim role doesn't suit you.

Steven: Maybe you should sit down. You look a little pale.

Bo: Nora, your brother's right. Please don't over do it.

She stood closer to Kelly so she could look her dead in the eyes.

Nora: I might not be 100% right now but I know dam well what you're doing and I'm here to tell you that you're _not_ going to get away with it. The next time I find you even a few steps _too_ close to _my_ husband then you're going to find yourself in a jail cell.

Kelly: Are you really that insecure?

Nora: What I AM is ticked off. Bo has _already_ made it pretty dam clear that he _doesn't_ want you. What part of No don't you understand? I am so dam tired of you trying to throw yourself at him… and the next time, I see you doing it, I'll have you arrested for stalking.

She started to loose her footing and Steven was leading her back to the wheelchair.

Steven: Would you just listen to the doctors for a change? You CAN'T be running around the halls sweetie.

Nora: Can I talk to you alone then?

Bo walked over to the front of the wheelchair and took her hands.

Bo: Do NOT get too worked up Nora. I _know _you love your brother but _please_ stop working yourself into exhaustion. This _isn't_ healthy.

He kissed the top of her head and then grabbed Kelly by the arm and led her out the door. He shoved her on the stool in the next examination room.

Bo: I am _through_ being NICE. It's time you knew EXACTLY what I think of you.

* * *

Steven kneeled down next to Nora as she looked at him.

Nora: _Please_ tell me you weren't making any sacrifices for me Steven. You and Kelly looked pretty heated.

Steven: Nora… Sweetie, you know that I would do _anything_ for you right?

Nora: Of course I do. But you're starting to scare me.

Steven: I don't know how to say this. And I need to know that you're strong enough to hear it.

Nora: I think you need to just say it because the not knowing is worse.

Steven: Nora, I'm sorry. I had no idea she was this unstable…or that she would go after YOU to hurt ME. I didn't find out that she was the same woman until recently and when I did I was so afraid of what the truth would do to you and I still am. You're not strong enough for a big confrontation.

Nora: You're talking in riddles. Am I supposed to know what _any_ of this means?

Steven: The woman that I cheated on years ago was Kelly—and now—

Nora: That bitch. She didn't sleep with Bo for ANY reason other then revenge did she?

He could see the anger burning in her eyes and he took her hands to stop her from hurting herself.

Steven: The _only_ reason I told you this is because we don't have any secrets and I couldn't stand lying to you when you've had _so _many people do it to you. But Nora, you have to calm down. You are_very_ sick and I _know_ that Kelly pushes your buttons but you _need _to stop getting so worked up. It _doesn't_ matter anymore does it? YOU have Bo.

Nora: As if there was EVER a competition.

Steven: Ok…so?

Nora: Steven, you're right. I DO have Bo. And if she _wasn't_constantly throwing herself at him then I wouldn't care. But I DON'T need to deal with HER on top of _everything_ else. And Bo has a _right_ to know the truth.

Steven: So let ME tell him.

Nora: I appreciate that but _this one's_ coming from _me_. He needs to know how we're going to handle this…

Steven: I'm almost afraid to ask—how are you going to handle it?

Nora: The ONLY way we can handle ANYTHING—Together.

TBC


	44. Shattered Part 44

**Shattered- Part 44**

Bo struggled to keep his anger in check when he looked at Kelly. He had never been the type of man to hit a woman and he _wasn't_about to change that now but _she_ pushed his limits.

Bo: You are REALLY lucky that I _don't_ believe in hitting women because right now what I REALLY want is to deck you.

Kelly: Is that REALLY how you feel?

Bo: SHUT UP! You are pushing every single _one_ of my buttons right now because you _can't_ seem to accept reality. When I told you that I _didn't_ want you, it _wasn't_ code for ANYTHING. Sleeping with you was the _worst_ mistake of my life and believe me, I've made A LOT of mistakes over the years.

Kelly: Bo-

Bo: I SAID SHUT UP! (Pause) Kelly, I don't know what the hell you think you're doing but it needs to STOP. I have had it up to here with you. And the more you come around and make my wife miserable, the _less_ patience I have with you. I don't know why you seem to think we have some once in a lifetime connection but you couldn't be more wrong. I feel NOTHING for you and I NEVER did. Sleeping with you was equivalent to taking a drink or getting high on some form of drug. I self medicated because I couldn't deal with Drew's death—YOU were my drug. But now I'm clean and sober and I want my life back—I want Nora back. And I know that I might not get that chance because she is sicker then I have EVER seen her but I'll tell you one thing? I am NOT going to waste one more second on regret—I'm going to try like hell to get back what we used to have. And I want nothing to do with YOU. I don't care if you're pregnant with my grandchild or not—I want you as far away from me and Nora as possible. EVERY time she sees you, it makes her sicker. That DOESN'T work for me.

Kelly: What exactly are you expecting me to do Bo?

Bo: Well for starters you could stay away from her… and me. I spent _too_ long giving _you_ the benefit of the doubt and _not_ seeing what it was doing to _her_ but I'm done with that. Nora comes first. If you are going to stand there and rub her nose in the _very_ thing that_tortures_ her then I'm _through_ being nice. I'm giving you a choice Kelly. You can either get your things and get on the first plane out of town willingly…

Kelly: Where exactly do you want me to go?

Bo: _I don't care_… as long as it's _not_ here and as long as you are _not anywhere_ near my wife.

Kelly: Do you honestly believe that I'd hurt her?

Bo: You already are—just by being _here_—and normally I would say bring it on because she can kick _anyone's_ butt any day of the week—but she's sick Kelly—she needs ALL of her strength to go to her treatment. And _every_ time you come around, you get her so worked up that she risks her health. YOU might not care about that but _I_sure as hell do. How much is it going to cost me to get you to get the hell out of town?

Kelly: Did you seriously just offer me money?

Nora: Well at least he's FINALLY calling you what you are.

Kelly: You don't know ANYTHING about me?

Nora: I know you're a world class liar who doesn't give a damn about ANYTHING but herself. And I also know that you like to steal other people's do you THINK that makes you? I got news for you—you picked the WRONG _wife_ to mess with.

Kelly: What exactly are you going to do about it?

Nora: What I SHOULD have done MONTHS ago—and right now I don't give a damn if you're pregnant or not. For all I know this was all a scam to begin with. With all the lies you have told I wouldn't put it passed you.

Bo: What are you talking about?

Nora: Your little whore here was never _anything_ more then a way to get back at my brother.

Bo: Why would she want to do that?

Nora: Because Bo—_she_ was the woman in his life until he made a mistake and cheated on her. Then she miraculously decided to come back to town and work her way through the Buchanan's. And people call ME a slut? Boy they aint seen NOTHING yet…

Kelly: You bitch

She tried to hit her but Nora grabbed her arm and stopped her.

Nora: You should know by now that you're NO match for me. And just in case it WASN'T clear… you have NO place in Bo's life. He's MY husband and _I_ will be the one to take care of him.

Kelly: Even if you're dead.

Nora: NOW who's the one who's hitting below the belt?

She got in her face as Bo and Steven tried to keep the drama to a minimum…

Nora: If _you_ think I am going to just roll over and let cancer defeat me so you can manipulate _my_ husband again then you are going to be VERY disappointed. I might be dying but I'm NOT dead. And I STILL know how to keep him satisfied. What the hell do you THINK we were doing this morning? It sure as hell wasn't playing monopoly?

Kelly: You two are…

Nora: Back together—in EVERY sense of the word. So you listen to _me _you little bitch—BACK THE HELL OFF OF MY HUSBAND. And that's NOT a request. You DON'T want to know what I'm going to do to you if you DON'T leave him the hell alone.

Bo: All right sweetheart, I _think_ she got the message. What do you say we get you back to your room? I _don't_ want you passing out from exhaustion and you're _not_ super woman… no matter HOW strong you are.

She sat down in the wheelchair and Bo turned back to Kelly and Steven.

Bo: Do me a favor and convince her to take the offer. She can either leave town with money in her pocket or she can be run out of town with nothing but the clothes on her back. I_don't_ really care HOW she goes as long as she _goes_. And with all the dirt I have on her, she _doesn't_ have much of a choice. Being Dorian Lord's niece_isn't_ going to save her now.

And with that he wheeled her out of the room and Steven turned to Kelly.

Steven: He's right you know? You DON'T have much of a choice. And you underestimated who you were messing with when you went after my sister. She's NOBODY'S victim. And DON'T think she _won't_ make you suffer if you stick around.

Kelly: So you're siding with HER once again?

Steven: Dam right I am. Not only because she's my sister but because she's right. You_don't_ belong here. And you have NO place with Bo. You NEVER did.

And he left her standing alone in the room watching the door slam in her face after everyone had turned on her.

* * *

Bo helped Nora back into the bed and pulled the covers back over her as he re-hooked the IV to her arm.

Bo: You know, even though I think you got WAY too worked up today, I think you're extremely sexy when you're getting territorial.

Nora: I would do it again in a heartbeat… just in case you're wondering.

Bo: I know you would—and I love you anyways.

He leaned over her bed and kissed her passionately.

Bo: Don't worry anymore sweetie. I'm _not_going to hurt you again. It's ok for you to trust that. Even if you don't trust ME, you CAN trust that I'm on YOUR side. You do believe that don't you? You do trust me when I tell you that you're the only woman I want? That Kelly and I are over?

Nora: Well If I didn't before, I do now. You REALLY went to bat for me Bo. Thank you. I _can't_ say I trust you with my heart yet but I _am_ starting to believe that _maybe_ you're _still_ worth the trouble in getting there.

TBC


	45. Shattered Part 45

**Shattered- Part 45**

Bo and Nora were lying in her hospital bed trying not to think about everything that could happen and not really having much luck. Finally Nora turned to Bo.

Nora: I'm sorry if I've been making things difficult for you lately.

Bo: Now _why_ on _earth _would you think that?

Nora: Well I know I said that I'd forget about everything but I haven't done a very good job of it. It's just—Bo you have NO idea what kind of agony I go through every day when I see her here reminding me of everything _I_ didn't do right.

Bo: Nora, it was NEVER about that.

Nora: It had to be about SOMETHING and that's the part that tortures me… thinking that maybe it wouldn't have happened if _I _had been a better wife.

Bo: _Are you serious?_ Is that _really _how you feel?

Nora: Can you blame me? I mean _think_ about it Bo…_why _do _most _men have affairs? It's not like they suddenly wake up one morning and decide to risk _everything_? They _don't_ just have an affair for the hell of it. I need to know why _you_ did. Can you just tell me if there was something that…

He cut her words off with a passionate kiss. Then he brushed the stay hair away from her face as he cupped it in his hands and looked at her.

Bo: Don't. Don't _ever _think that this was _your_ fault. Do you have _any _idea how much it hurts me to hear you talk like that? God, if I could take back _everything_ I _ever _did to make you doubt your worth then I would. I wish I could take back ALL of it. This _isn't _your fault baby… NONE of it is _your_ fault.

Nora: How can it _not_ be? Bo, you said…

Bo: Nora, I KNOW what I said and I _didn't_ _mean_ ANY of it.

Nora: _Then why the hell did you say it?_

Bo: I don't know—I was a jack ass.

Nora: Yeah you were but that's _not_ an answer. (Pause) Bo when you tell someone that you can't remember a single reason why you love them then there's _usually_ a reason. And I have to say that the emotional abuse was probably worse than the actual affair because THAT was deliberate. If we're going to move on from this then _you _need to figure out _why _you did it because _I _need an answer…_I_ need to be able to understand.

Bo: What if there _isn't_ one… what if you NEVER understand.

Nora: Then I need to _at least _be able to empathize with you. Right now you're _not_ giving me _anything_ but excuses. And I'm sorry but 'I was a jack ass' doesn't count because it _doesn't_ _explain _anything.

It was then that she heard the door open and she saw her brother in the door.

Steven: I'm sorry to interrupt. I can come back if this is a bad time.

Nora: No it's ok. (To Bo) We'll table this discussion until later but DON'T think you're off the hook buddy. I _still_ expect an honest answer.

Bo: And you'll get one… when you're strong enough to handle it and not a minute before.

He kissed the top of her head and turned to leave.

Bo: I'll give you some time with your brother. Just don't forget how much I love you Red. Despite everything that's happened, I _never _stopped loving you… no matter WHAT I told you.

After he disappeared out the door, Steven walked over to her and hugged her.

Steven: All right Nora—out with it. I've seen that look before and it's NEVER a good thing. I thought things were better between you two?

Nora: They were. Until I went into typical lawyer mode and demanded an answer.

Steven: I think you're entitled.

Nora: Yeah but at what cost? I'm already dying of cancer… if I've destroyed whatever progress we've made….

Steven: If you've destroyed the progress you've made then he _doesn't_ deserve you. And I'm not just saying that as your brother and the man who thinks you can do no wrong but as someone who_gets_that if you _can't_speak your mind then you're _never_ going to last. That's who you are Nora… if he _doesn't get_ that by now… if he _doesn't get_how _incredible_ you are…

Nora: Oh he gets it.

Steven: Good. I wouldn't want to have to make him regret that he _ever_hurt you. Now… about that Cancer you have…

Nora: Do we HAVE to talk about that?

Steven: dam right we do. We're talking about my baby's sister's life here.

Nora: But what can I do? I'm waiting for an organ transplant… well two really.

Steven: Yes and in the meantime, we're going to talk about what you're going to do to make sure this is your LAST surgery.

Nora: What are you getting at?

Steven: I think I may have figured out a way to save your life… but it's all experimental at this point.

Nora: So you want me to be your guinea pig?

Steven: Basically.

Nora: I'm listening.

TBC


	46. Shattered part 46

**Shattered- Part 46**

Nora looked at her brother, with hope and fear in her eyes and she knew that he was struggling to hold it together for her. He took a seat next to her and looked directly in her eyes.

Steven: I know that you've taken a lot of drugs already Nora but there's an experimental one you could take…

Nora: How exactly is this different from all the rest of them?

Steven: It hasn't been approved yet.

Nora: The truth Steven. I trust you with my life. I know you are a brilliant doctor. But I've been taking so many pills and none of them have worked. What's so different about this one?

Steven: This is something you are going to want to discuss with your husband because it can be dangerous. But you are at the point where you are going to have to be admitted so we can keep an eye on you. You need 24 hour care for this.

Nora: For a drug?

Steven: Most drugs work in a way to reverse the change in your body. In other words, they attack the malignant cells already in place and work to replace them with healthy one. That hasn't worked with you. What I'm offering is a drug that will increase the symptoms you already have.

Nora: You mean you're going to make me sicker?

Steven: The hope is that if we push your cancerous cells out of normal range and cause them to accelerate at a faster rate, we will be able to slow down the growth of any new cells as well as shock your system into killing the cancerous ones already in place.

Nora: And what happens if this doesn't work?

Steven: You could lose time Nora. This is going to speed up the process of your disease.

Nora: But if I don't take it, I'm going to die anyways. And what about my heart? I'm waiting for a heart transplant. I'm waiting for a liver transplant. Is this going to change any of that?

Steven: Nora there are no guarentees. You know that.

Nora: What about having children? Is this drug going to mess up my chances in any way? Bo and I talked about this. When I get out of the hospital… when I'm physically able… we want to try to have another child. Loosing that baby just about killed me. I want to have a child with him. I know you don't understand that.

Steven: If Bo makes you happy—if you can forgive and forget—sweetie, I'm not going to judge.

Nora: You didn't answer my question

Steven: There's a slim possibility you could be unable to get pregnant again

He could see the tears in her eyes and he took her hand.

Steven: Honey, don't think of the worst case scenario. If it's meant to be it will happen. And you are not going to be able to have a baby if you are not alive to do it. Please just think about this. It could be the only shot you have right now.

Nora: You said this could be dangerous? How so?

Steven: If your levels get too high they can cause side effects that are hard to get under control. But Nora that's why you need 24 hour care.

Nora: I think I need to talk to my husband about all of this but I have one question for you first.

Steven: What?

Nora: Do you believe you can do this? If you really think that this will work then I will do my best to convince Bo but I don't want to get my hopes up if you have doubts. You're my big brother and I love you but right now I need you to be honest with me as the brilliant doctor because I'm putting my life in your hands literally.

Steven: I wouldn't have even told you if I didn't. You're my little sister and I will do whatever I can to save you. But Nora this isn't me being protective of you. I would recommend this drug to anyone in your condition. I really think it's your best shot.

Nora(Wiping the tears fro her face): Then go find Bo and tell him I want to see him. I trust you with my life. I will do my best to convince HIM to.

He kissed the top of her head and walked out the door. Nora took a moment to collect herself.

Nora: Please God let this work. And if you have any extra time can you please let us have a shot at being parents. I know I have Rachel and I love her with all of my heart but there's this big hole in my heart where our child used to be and I really want the chance to fill that up. I want to be a mother again… more then anything in the world.

She looked towards the door and saw Bo walk in.

Bo: You'll get that chance sweetheart. You will.

He kissed her gently and sat down.

Bo: What do we need to talk about?

Nora: Steven thinks he's found a way to save me but it could be dangerous.

Bo: HOW dangerous?

Nora: Bo, please don't ask me that. I don't know all the facts. All I know is I need 24 hour care. I know my brother thinks he can save me and I trust him. I'm asking you to trust him too. This is my best shot.

TBC


	47. Shattered Part 47

**Shattered- Part 47****  
**  
She hadn't been sure what to expect when she had told him but she certainly hadn't expected this. If she had any doubts about his feelings for her, they would have gone away the moment she saw the tears in his eyes. She was still weak but she knew that for him this was probably harder because it meant he had to face the hard reality that she might not make it. She took his hand and tried her best to explain something she didn't quite understand herself.

Nora: Bo please…don't cry. I can't take it if you cry. It's hard enough facing the possibility that I could have to leave you behind. But if you look at me like that… if you show me that side of you… I think I really might break.

Bo: You're asking me to risk time with you Nora. I'm not sure I can do that. The possibility of losing you kills me. But if you have to go, I need to be sure that we've had all the time we could possibly have. I'm very selfish when it comes to you. I want everything I can possibly have.

Nora: I want that too. But I can't live like this anymore Bo. I am _so_ tired of all of this. I don't have the energy to keep undergoing all this testing and trying more drugs and putting myself through endless rounds of radiation and chemo. At some point you have to think of quality of life. If love could heal me then I wouldn't be here. I fall asleep at night in your arms and I can feel your heart beat and I know that it's beating for me. A couple months ago, I wouldn't have believed that.

Bo: I have to know if you really know how sorry I am. I don't know how I ever could have risked us over something so stupid but I can't take it back. I just need for you to understand that if I could… I would take away every tear you ever cried out of hurt because of me and I would replace them with happy ones. You are my world Nora. And cheating on you was the worst mistake I ever made. You are without a doubt the best woman I know and even though I don't deserve your forgiveness, I need you to understand that if I have the chance, I will spend the rest of my life making sure you never regret that you gave us another chance. I love you. I promise that I'll_never, ever_ forget that _ever_again. I _only_ have eyes for _you_. And this time I mean it.

Nora: Well you _better _because trust _isn't_ automatic Bo. And I'm _still_ not entirely convinced that I CAN trust you. I love you enough to try. That's all I can promise you. YOU have to do the rest.

Bo: I would love nothing more then to be given that chance.

Nora: Then you have to trust me on this. It's not because he's my brother. I've SEEN him work miracles. People who weren't supposed to survive have gone on to live long and happy lives. He's a brilliant doctor Bo. If anyone can save me then he can.

Bo: If you want me to go along with this then you should know that I'm not leaving your side.

Nora: Bo… you can't give up your life that way…

Bo: My life? Nora, you ARE my life. And If I'm going to be risking time with you, then the least you can do is let me spend it with you.

Nora: I don't want you to watch me die

Bo: Didn't you just say your brother is a miracle worker?

Nora: Yes but in order to do that he has to make me sicker. Do you really want to watch me wither away?

Bo: What I want is for you to stop trying to protect me and let me be there for you. Marriage isn't just about the good Nora.

Nora: I think we've already proven that.

Bo: Ok… so we survived my infidelity and the loss of our child… now it's time that we fight cancer. We can do it Red…but only if we do it together. Please don't shut me out.

Nora: Ok but don't say I didn't warn you. This is going to get bad Bo.

Bo: We've dealt with bad before. What's a little more when the end result is so good?

Nora: Are you ready to do this?

Bo: Just as soon as I ask you something. (Pausing) Nora, I don't think you should allow this to happen before telling Rachel. I know why you didn't tell her but Nora, it's getting worse and if, God forbid, you don't make it, that kid is going to be so much worse off because you would have deprived her of the chance to say goodbye. Please don't do it this way. I know you want to protect her but you can't anymore. We can't ignore the fact that you could be dying.

Nora: Ok, I'll tell her, but not over the phone.

Bo: Do you want me to call her?

Nora: I don't think she'd talk to you Bo. She's pretty ticked off at you right now. (Pausing) Give me the phone. I'll do it.

He handed her the phone and she dialed the number. Bo's heart broke when Nora tried to speak without crying and failed. Rachel was on her way to Llanview and would soon find out what she had tried to shield her from for so long. After she hung up the phone, he went over to her bed and held her, telling her softly that she had done the right thing. She only hoped he was right.

TBC


	48. Shattered Part 48

**Shattered- Part 48**

He had expected her anger and even come to think he deserved it—but he hadn't counted on the simple way she just pretended that he didn't exist. And when he caught Nora's simple expression of 'don't push it,' he just walked out the door without a word.

Nora turned to her daughter now, a mixture of understanding and disappointment.

Nora: I need you to stop acting as if he doesn't exist. I understand that your mad—believe me I was too—still am on some days—but you're going to have to accept that I love him sooner or later—

Rachel: And this is really what you want?

Nora: Yes Rachel, it is. I know that it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to most people—

Rachel: That's because he cheated on you and almost got another woman pregnant—are you really ok with that? What if he does it again?

Nora: If he does it again then we're over for good. He knows that he doesn't get an unlimited amount of second chances. But Rachel—I know what it feels like to mess up and want that second chance. I was there when I cheated on your dad and—and we might have already been over when the truth came out but I needed that forgiveness—and he gave it to me.

Rachel: It's not the same thing. You and my dad didn't get back together.

Nora: And what if we had? Would you have believed that I would do it again? Once a cheater does not always mean you will always be a cheater. This is what I want Rachel. This is what I need. I'm _asking_ you to give him a second chance.

Rachel: And what if I can't?

Nora: Then at the very least treat him with respect because what you just did right now—that wasn't very nice. I love you and I understand where you're coming from but he's still my husband and he's still the man I love—please respect that…If you can't do it because it's the right thing to do then please do it for me. I _won't_ choose between my husband and my child. I just won't do it.

She looked at her mother, the tears clearly evident in her face and she nearly broke.

Rachel: I'm sorry mom. I just hate to see you in pain.

Nora: That's a little hard to avoid right now.

Rachel: Why? Is there something you're not telling me?

Nora: The reason I called you over here. I'm dying.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bo sat down on the bench of the waiting room and put his head in his hands. He never felt more helpless in his whole life. That was when he saw her. She knew that he probably wanted to be somewhere else—anywhere else—and right now she couldn't blame him.

Kelly: I came to say I'm sorry.

Bo: Kelly—it really doesn't matter to me right now. My wife is in that room right now telling her daughter that she is dying. I could care less about your guilty conscience right now.

Kelly: Can you at least hear me out? If not for my sake then for Drew's—

Bo: _Don't—don't _bring my son into this—this obviously had nothing to do with him—

Kelly: Haven't you ever been hurt so bad that you want to lash out?

Bo: Wanted to maybe—but Kelly—you destroyed lives—I could have maybe forgiven you if it was just _my_ life you destroyed but—Nora never deserved _any_ of this—I can take _my_ share of the blame but the bottom line is still the same—

Kelly: I know—and I was wrong to use her to hurt her brother—

Bo: If you're expecting me to give you absolution then I'm sorry—I just can't do it. I can't even absolve _myself _of that filth. And I honestly don't mean to sound cruel because I'm just as much to blame as you—but Kelly, I hurt the most important person in my life and there's no getting around that…When I look at you…that is all that I see—that you helped me hurt her. And right now the only thing I care about is that woman in that hospital bed who is fighting for her life. I can't spend any more time worrying about you or your guilty conscience—_you_ are the one who went through with it—you are going to have to live with it same way I am.

Kelly: Do you really want me to leave town? Do I really mean that little to you?

Bo: Kelly, I'm sorry if you have genuine feelings for me because I never did. I didn't mean to make you think we had a chance so if that's what happened then I'm sorry for leading you on. I never lied about my feelings for Nora. You _always_ knew how I felt.

Kelly: Yeah I did—and I guess I was just stupid enough to think that if she was out of the picture, things could be different.

Bo: Is that why you were so desperate for me to be the father of your child?

Kelly: Maybe it was. This started out as a way to hurt her brother but I did have real feelings for you that I didn't count on—and maybe that's why I tried to latch on so tight—

Bo: I appreciate you _finally_ have the decency to be honest but it doesn't change anything. I still want you to leave…Not for me but for Nora. Doesn't she deserve a chance to survive? If you stay then even if she pulls through, what are the chances of her being able to have any peace? You say that you're sorry—prove it—be the person that your family always believed you were— be a mother to my grandchild—but do it out of town—please—I've never asked you for anything in my life but I'm _asking_ you for this—help me get my wife back— help me give her the life she deserves-leave town…Please.

TBC


	49. Shattered Part 49

**Shattered- Part 49**

Rachel turned to look at her mother. Despite the fact that she seemed so fragile, it still seemed like a horrible nightmare to hear her say it.

Rachel: What do you mean you're dying?

Nora: I have liver cancer. I have tried drug therapy and even had a transplant because my liver had failed all together but my body rejected it. They can't do surgery because my heart isn't strong enough—I'm running out of options Rachel.

Rachel: So you are just going to accept it?

Nora: Of course not. Do you actually think I want to die?

Rachel: I don't know mom. I really can't tell sometimes.

Nora: I don't want to die. I have a lot to live for.

Rachel: Like Bo, right?

Nora: Yes, like Bo—and you—and the child I want to have when I'm strong enough.

Rachel: You want to have another child? Are you sure that's a good idea?

Nora: I've never wanted anything more. And it's not just because I lost our child either. I'm not trying to replace anyone Rachel—I just want to have a baby with my husband. Is that such a bad thing?

Rachel: And it's really not because you're trying to save your marriage?

Nora: No. I'm not foolish enough to think that would work. The simple fact is that I love him and we're on good terms right now Rachel. No, it's not 100% fixed but we're working on it. He's really trying you know?

Rachel: Do you trust him?

Nora: I'm starting to. For the first time since it happened, I believe that he means it when he says that _I'm_ the _only_ woman he loves. Do you have _any_idea how long it took me to get there? I don't trust him with everything—I'm still not sure I can trust him with my heart—But I'm willing to try. He made a mistake and I love him enough to believe that he deserves a chance to prove to me that he's changed. Right now that's all I can give him. And I'm perfectly aware of the fact that most people—including you—think that it's more then he deserves—

Rachel: But you don't care do you?

Nora: This is my marriage Rachel—I'm going to fight for it—

Rachel: How do you plan on fighting for your life?

Nora: My brother has another option. It's my last chance Rachel.

Rachel: What sort of option? Is it dangerous?

Nora: It can be. But that's why Bo and the doctors are going to be giving me 24 hour care—if something goes wrong then they'll catch it—

Rachel: What's the drawback mom? What aren't you telling me?

Nora: I could lose time. They have to spike my cancer—

Rachel: _What? You mean they're making you sicker? How can that be a good thing?_

Nora: It's the only option I've got. Nothing else has worked. Their hope is that they can push the cancerous cells so far out of range that they will slow down the growth of new ones and shock my system into killing the ones already in place.

Rachel: This is a big risk mom?

Nora: It's all I've got. You don't have to watch if you don't want?

Rachel: Are you kidding me? Just because I don't like seeing you in pain, doesn't mean I'm going to skip it. I don't want to lose any time with you? I love you.

Nora: I love you too baby— I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner- I just—I really wanted to spare you if I could—Bo was the one who convinced me that I couldn't wait any longer—

Rachel: Really?

Nora: He loves you like his own. I know you are mad at him but will you please just talk to him. Believe I or not you are both on the same side…

Rachel: If it will make you feel better—

Nora: It will—and when you are done, you can tell him to come in here so we can get the show on the road.

Rachel: Aren't you nervous?

Nora: Of course I am. But I have to believe that it's not my time. If I allow myself to go there, it makes me lose focus. I have a lot of living left to do Rachel. And Bo and I have a wedding to plan—

Rachel: Aren't you already married?

Nora: He wants to renew our vows—it's been a while since we kept them—

Rachel: Since _he_kept them you mean?

Nora: We both made mistakes Rachel—

Rachel: What have you _ever_done but love him? Don't start blaming yourself now.

She kissed her forehead and started to walk to the door.

Rachel: I'm not making promises here but because I love you, I'll talk to him. Who knows, maybe he'll make me understand.

Nora: Well if you figure it out, then let _me_ know because _that's_ something I _never_managed to find—

Rachel: Ok so understanding is probably too big of a word—don't tire yourself out mom—

After she walked out the door, Nora placed her hand on her stomach- where she had once carried their child.

Nora: Please God—let me live through this—I want a chance to fix everything that went wrong—I want a chance to have his child—Please don't take me now—now, when things are finally getting better—

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kelly looked at Bo and for the first time she could truly understand how much pain she had caused him. He was trying not to let anyone see how scared he was but she saw it.

Kelly: I'm sorry that I cost you so much. I can see how much you love your wife. I guess I just wasn't used to that because nobody ever showed me that—

Bo: You could have had that if you had found someone who was available. I just wasn't.

Kelly: And you really think that if I leave, it's going to change whatever it is that was wrong in your marriage—

Bo: The only thing that was wrong in my marriage is my mistaken belief that I didn't deserve to be happy—I let that destroy a beautiful thing—but now—now I know what a woman like her is worth—and I'm willing to do anything that is in my power to fix it—

Kelly: Bo, you can't go back in time and make it so we didn't sleep together—

Bo: Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I would do anything if I could? I'm just trying to make things a little bit easier for her. I know that you want to believe that there was something real with us but Kelly, there just wasn't. I told you once that you were my drug of choice and it's true. Though now I'm beginning to think it would have been easier if I had just overdosed on something a lot less potent. If I had gotten drunk or taken a handful of pills then maybe I wouldn't have lost my wife. I'm not blaming you entirely Kelly—_I_ was the one who was married—_I_ was the one who broke _every_ promise I _ever_ made to her—and that's why this is up to _me_ to fix it—It's up to _me_ to prove to her that it was a mistake I don't plan on _ever_repeating—

Rachel: Well you're not doing a very good job of that right now.

Bo: Rachel—

She walked over to where Bo was sitting and stood there with her arms crossed identical to the way her mother looked when she was mad.

Rachel: What is she still doing here? Why would you bring— (She pauses as she looked at him…She never spoke this way about anyone but she was so angry she just couldn't find a way around it.) Why would you bring your whore to the place where your wife is dying? Isn't it enough that you betrayed her?

Bo: This isn't what you think Rachel. Believe it or not, I was trying to help. I was trying to get her to leave town.

Rachel: Why? Why does it matter when she might not be around to—

Bo: Don't say that Rachel—Don't even think it—Your mother is a fighter and she's going to survive this—

Rachel: And what if she can't—her heart isn't strong enough Bo—she's been fighting ever since you betrayed her—

Bo: I know. And you have no idea how sorry I am for that.

Rachel Why should I believe you? Why should I trust that you have her best interest at heart? You haven't for a very long time.

Bo: I know that you're looking out for your mother just like you always have. But you don't have to protect her from _me_—I love her—

Rachel: Your love broke her heart Bo—I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to love her—

Bo: I'm not sure we really have a choice in the matter—loving her is just something that is essential to my survival—just like breathing—

Rachel: That is a load of bull and you know it? It wasn't that long ago that you couldn't remember _one_ reason why you loved her—it _wasn't_ a part of your survival _then_ Bo—so what the hell changed? Why are you suddenly standing here proclaiming your undying love to her because as far as I can see, the circumstances are the same? What train ran over your heart and made you realize that she was worth the fight after all—when you _should_have known that all along? You have ten minutes to prove to me that you deserve a second chance with her—ten minutes to show me why I should forgive you—and ten minutes to explain to me why you really love her- If you can't do that then we are going to have a serious problem because I could really kill you for smashing her heart when it was the last thing she deserved…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Nora looked up from her hospital bed as the color drained from her face.

Nora: What the hell are _you_doing here?

Kelly: I think we need to talk.

Nora: What's left to talk about Kelly? We're not friends—we're not even civil anymore—and quite frankly, I'm all talked out—

Kelly: Then let _me _do all the talking?

Nora: I don't want to hear any more lies?

Kelly: They're not lies this time Nora. You were right.

Nora: About what?

Kelly: About my feelings for your husband—

The pain crossed her face as she looked at her-

Nora: So why exactly are you here—because if you think you are going to take him away from me again—

Kelly: That's not why I'm here at all—Bo has made it pretty damn clear that he doesn't want me—that he never wanted me—and I just couldn't accept it until today—

Nora: Then why are you still here? He obviously doesn't want you around—

Kelly: He asked me to leave town Nora—no, he practically threatened me into it—what I want to know is if that will really help you? Do you really think that me leaving is going to change things with you and Bo—

Nora: You can't have him Kelly—even if I'm not around, you can't have him—I will fight you on it—

Kelly: Nora, that's not what I'm asking. Can you answer the question? I know we're not friends anymore but I still would like to know. Is me leaving town really the best thing for your marriage—

TBC


End file.
